Foolish Heart (Foolish Heart Book1)
by roseanna01
Summary: He is seeking vengeance but finds love instead. Christian has a mission and it includes a woman with innocent blue eyes. He needs her to complete his revenge. He planned everything. He didn't plan on falling in love with her. AU. NO BDSM. NO CHEATING.
1. Prologue

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first Fifty Shades fanfic. Please excuse my grammar. English is not my native language and this has not been proofread yet. Please let me know what you think. Thank you!

DISCLAIMER: Fifty Shades and its characters are not mine. I'm only borrowing them for my story.

:::

 **Prologue**

1982

She was humming to herself as she climbed out of her car and walked to the front door of the Dawson's. It was 7 in the morning and Carla knew Mr. and Mrs. Dawson had already left for work, leaving their only daughter and also her best friend, Ella, probably still asleep in her room.

Glancing at the gift wrapped box in her hand, she hoped Ella will like it. Inside was a collection of their photographs since they became friends during their elementary days. The pictures Carla had accumulated over the years were meticulously arranged in an album she made herself. Today was Ella's 18th birthday and she thought of something precious to give to her best friend. It was a surprise Carla created to let the celebrant know how she cherished their friendship. She loved it and wished Ella would too. There was going to be a party to celebrate Ella's 18th three days from now but Carla couldn't wait to give Ella her gift.

With her available hand, Carla reached for a key tucked in a pot hanging beside the door, confidently aware of its hiding spot for years. She knew Ella will not mind seeing Carla in her home unannounced. Not that it was Carla's first time to do it. Not that Ella had never done it herself before. They had been showing in each other's place without warning countless times already.

Quietly, she let herself in. The silence of the house greeted her. Carla climbed the stairs and walked straight to Ella's bedroom. She didn't bother knocking, thinking it wasn't going to be a surprise if she called Ella's name. She twisted the knob of her best friend's bedroom door open, wordlessly thanking the chance that it wasn't locked. Drawing in a deep breath, Carla readied herself to greet the sleeping celebrant.

"Happy Bir-"

Startled at the loud but familiar voice, Robert's eyes shot open. His gaze darted at the ceiling and confusion spread in him realizing he wasn't in his bedroom. Feeling fingers lightly grazing his naked chest, he turned to its owner.

The figure next to him started to move. "Let's go back to sleep." She murmured with her eyes still close.

His eyes grew wide recognizing who the woman was. "Ella."

Smiling, Ella opened her eyes. "What is it?"

 _It can't be. It can't be._ Carla's eyes were glued to the two figures tangled together on the bed. Robert? Ella? Her boyfriend and her best friend? Two of the most important people in her life lying naked under the sheet.

Carla's heart ached. She clutched her chest, trying to get rid of the pain of being betrayed. She dropped Ella's birthday gift to the floor and it created a sound that caught their attention.

Two pairs of eyes flew to the trembling woman standing in the doorway.

"C-Carla?" Both called her name in surprised.

Robert's eyes grew wide. Ella's face paled.

Before any of them could move, Carla swirled around and ran downstairs, tears streaming down her face.

:::


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"C'mon Ana..."

She tried not to roll her eyes at the pleading voice of her roommate, Kate. Ana ignored her and went back to reading. Seconds later, the blonde woman was in her room donning a sequined silver mid-thigh dress and a pair of same color strappy high-heeled sandals.

"We'll be graduating soon." Kate started, sitting on the edge of her bed. "This will be the last time we're going to have this fun."

"There's no last time for you, Kate."

"Hey!" Offended, her friend swatted her. "It's not my fault that I love having fun."

Discerning she wouldn't be able to continue her reading while in her friend's presence, she closed the book. "No, it's not your fault. Actually, I like that you love fun. We just have opposite definitions of that three-letter word."

Kate pouted. "Yeah, I know. I just don't want to leave you here all alone. It's Friday night and you should be outside."

Ana was about to cut her but Kate was quick to continue, already knowing what she was about to say. "And when I said 'outside', I meant in a bar drinking the night away like a normal 21 year old college student and not outside doing an evening run, which I know what you're going to do as soon as I leave."

Ana tried not to wince at her best friend's words, she was used to her honesty anyway. This wasn't the first time Kate had tried to coax her in letting herself loose a little and 'enjoy life'. Kate Kavanagh had been her best friend since middle school, both born and grew up in Montesano, Washington. Despite how different their personalities were, they got along really well and had been like sisters since their first meeting.

While she was most of the time serious, Kate was bubbly and easygoing. Ana loved to read books. Kate loved adventures. Ana was happy to spend the entire day at home, doing chores. Kate's happiness could be find in a glass of alcohol and dancing to the music bar.

Despite feeling content with the kind of life she was living, Ana couldn't help but sense that she was missing something. Maybe her friend was right. Maybe she wasn't normal, not like the normal 21 year old Kate had just described.

"Hey, I'm sorry." The blonde woman apologized, immediately noticing her crestfallen face. "You know me, I speak without thinking."

Ana shook her head and plastered on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "No, you're right. Enjoy your night Kate. Don't worry about me. I promise, next time I'll join you and Jose."

At her words, Kate's face brightened. "Really? Jose will be happy. You know he has a crush on you, right?"

"No, I don't." She rolled her eyes. "And please stop imagining things. Jose is a friend."

Kate pushed herself up from the bed and planted a goodbye kiss on her cheek. "I say what my eyes see, friend. Jose likes you but is too shy to act on it. Believe me."

:::

 _Jose likes me?_

She shook her head, dismissing the question in her mind. Ana had been running around the neighborhood for thirty minutes now and was nowhere near tired. Aside from yoga, evening run was her physical exercise. Whenever able, Kate would join her but Ana was fine if she had to do it alone just like tonight.

Her best friend's words earlier that night entered her mind and her thought flew to Jose. Jose Rodriguez was a close friend. She met him when they were both freshmen and liked him instantly. He was sweet and kind. But like what she told Kate, Jose was just a friend. Ana didn't feel anything for him more than that and she didn't want to think that he liked her.

She never considered herself pretty and she was sure people find her boring. Finding out that there was someone who would take interest in her was doubtful, she made herself believe.

Only a few steps from her favorite coffee shop, Ana quickened her run so as to avoid the temptation the aromatic smell of the brewing coffee the small space was giving out from the inside. She didn't expect the shop's door opening all of a sudden and a man in a suit exiting from it. It was too late for her to slow down or stop, Ana collided with the man before she could prevent herself and the cup he was holding was pressed between them, the hot drink inside flowed out and spilled to both of their clothes.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, instantly feeling the warmth of the coffee over her sweater.

In instinct, she pried herself away from the man and expected to land on the ground on her ass but it didn't happen. She was still standing and a strong arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her up. Ana looked up and was met with the most intense bright grey eyes she had ever seen.

For a moment, she had forgotten to breathe. The man was good looking, breathtakingly handsome in fact. He was tall and lean yet muscular and broad-shouldered. His hair was dark copper. His nose was pointed perfectly. And his lips... Ana had to swallow an invisible lump down her throat as she gazed at his lips.

"Are you okay?"

Hearing his voice, her eyes darted back to his and she started feeling lost again. His grey eyes were looking at her fiercely. Remembering the accident, she tried removing herself from his grip once again and was successful this time. Ana ignored the bereft feeling that crept up in her at the loss of his touch. "Y-Your suit!" Wide-eyed, she inspected the stain on his suit.

"It's alright."

She shook her head no in dismay. The man's clothes were obviously expensive and she ruined it because of her stupidity. "I-I'm sorry. I was running so fast, I didn't expect you stepping out."

Ana felt his fingers on her chin, tilting her head up. She had no choice but gaze at him.

"It wasn't your fault. It was an accident. I didn't see you. And besides, you also got stain on your cloth." He said, eyeing the coffee mark on her sweater. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay."

He nodded somewhat relief. "Good."

:::

He let out an exhale as soon as she was out of his view. Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, took a few deep breaths and tried to relax on his seat.

She wasn't who he expected her to be, Christian deduced dryly.

 _Anastasia Rose Steele_

Countless pictures of her handed to him by the people tasked to follow her every move, thick folder with every detail of information his men had gathered about the only daughter of Carla Adamson Wilks now known as Carla Wilks Steele and months of planning on how he and Anastasia were going to meet _accidentally_ didn't warn him to the emotion she would conjure from inside of him as soon as his eyes met hers.

He was aware she had a long dark brown hair and blue eyes. He had seen enough from the images taken of her without her knowledge to know she was small and pale. But what Christian hadn't been prepared for was how her dark chestnut-colored mane complemented her flawless skin. She was slender and petite but had a beautiful body with assets that intrigued him unexpectedly. Anastasia's features were delicate, her nose was upturned and her lips were soft and full. And those eyes. He remembered how he tried to control himself to not drown on those large, powder blue eyes. They were innocent and trusting. She stared at him like it was the first time she had seen a man and he would mean no harm to her.

 _If only she knows..._

"We're here, sir." Taylor, his bodyguard and driver of five years now, spoke from his seat.

Christian was lost in the picture of Anastasia in his mind that he didn't realize that more than two hours had passed since he left Vancouver and they had already arrived at Seattle and back to his Escala residence. He waited until Taylor exited the vehicle to open his door. A satisfied grin, thinking how successful this night was, escaped his lips but it disappeared quickly. With a serious façade, he climbed out and strode towards the elevator that would bring him to his penthouse on the 31st floor, with a silent Taylor behind him.

 _Part one is complete._

:::

 _Her eyes followed him as he climbed inside the backseat of his SUV while a man in a suit, who opened his door, rounded and boarded behind the wheel. To her surprise, the window of his seat rolled down._

 _"Are you sure you don't want me to_ _drive_ _you home?" He asked._

 _Her heart pounded loudly at the tempting thought. That was the second time he offered to escort her back to her place. And just like her previous answer, she declined._ _"There's no need. I live nearby." She pointed to the end of the block where the apartment she was sharing with Kate was situated. "I'm sorry again."_

 _He smiled and she almost melted. "Don't be. It's alright. Have a goodnight."_

 _She watched his window rolled back up after he waved a hand at her. His vehicle was gone from her sight shortly. Her shoulders fell realizing he never introduced himself to her._

The sound of the front door opening and closing pulled Ana back from her reverie.

"You're still awake?" Kate asked in surprise when she sauntered over their living room and spotted her on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Couldn't sleep." She replied, her fingers ghosted over the mug and reveled in its warmth. It reminded her of him, the man who ignited something in her.

Ana had never felt this kind of emotion before. It was unfamiliar to her. The fast beating of her heart at the possibility of spending more time with him, the drowning feeling from the way he looked at her, the bereft emotion she had when he removed his grasp on her and the pang of disappointed when he left without telling her his name.

"Anastasia?"

Kate's fingers snapped in front her and she was brought back to reality.

"Are you alright? What happened? Did you run tonight?" The blonde woman sat next to her and questioned her while bending half of her body to remove the straps of her sandals.

"I'm fine. Nothing happened. And I ran." She opted to lie to her. Ana wasn't sure if it was right to disclose her earlier encounter with the man to her best friend. She wasn't even sure why she was feeling strange about him.

Kate glanced at her. "Are you sure? You're acting weird."

Unable to meet her gaze, Ana rose and strode towards the kitchen. "I'm sure, Kate." She replied while she began washing her cup. Glancing at the wall clock, she wondered why her friend was home when it was only midnight. "You're early."

A sneeze blew out from Kate's nose answered her question.

"That's why." Her best friend responded.

"You're sick." Ana said, stating the obvious.

"I can't be sick. I have an interview on Monday."

As the editor of their school newspaper, Kate couldn't not attend the interview that took her nine months to get. She was granted by the enigmatic CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc., a very busy person Ana was told, an interview at his headquarter in Seattle.

Looking at her friend, Ana felt pity for her. It seemed Kate had just started to have cold and she wondered if she was going to make it on Monday.

:::

"Mr. Grey will see you now, Miss Steele."

Ana heard from the beautiful blonde woman in a suit standing a few feet away from her. She stood up from her chair and clutching the bag strap over her shoulder, she followed her. Walking quietly behind the woman, Ana felt her nerves shoot up from anxiousness. She wanted to curse the cold that turned into flu and made Kate unavailable today. Ana wasn't supposed to be here, 165 miles away from Vancouver or more than two hours drive from her place. But here she was, in place of her best friend, feeling nervous for what Kate begged her to do.

The door was partially open when they reached Mr. Grey's office.

"You don't have to knock. Just go in." The woman smiled.

"Thank you."

Ana drew in a deep breath before pushing the door open. She stepped inside and was welcomed by the same grey eyes she had seen last Friday night. The same eyes that visited her dreams for the past couple of nights.

"Miss Anastasia Steele." Standing from his seat, he sauntered to her with a smile on his lips and a hand outstretched. "It's nice to see you again."

She took his hand and shook it. If he noticed her trembling palm, she was glad he didn't comment. "Mr. Christian Grey." She wanted to jump in happiness when she didn't stammer pronouncing his name.

"I was expecting Miss Katherine Kavanagh. Not that I'm not glad to see you once more." He commented, gesturing her to take a sit on one of the chairs at the right corner of his spacious office.

His last sentence made her smile as she opted to sit on the leather sofa. She watched him occupied the seat across from her. "Yes, about that. Kate... I mean Miss Kavanagh is sending her apology for not being here. She's suffering from flu and asked me to fill in for her. She's my best friend and roommate. I hope you don't mind."

He was studying her, she could tell from the way his intense eyes were focused on her. Ana brushed off its effect on her.

"That's alright, Miss Steele."

:::

"I hope you got everything you need." Christian uttered when they reached the elevator door.

Ana's interview with him had just finished. It was supposed to last for only 10 minutes but Christian, much to her shock, commanded his secretary to cancel his appointment until he got to answer Ana's questions completely. The woman he called Andrea complied without hesitation. Ana quickened her interview, not wanting to further disturb Christian's tight schedule.

As soon as they wrapped up, she hurriedly thanked and bid him goodbye. She was about to exit his office when she sensed him behind her. Christian escorted her towards the elevator and even pressed the down button for her.

She glanced at him. "Yes. Thank you for your time, Mr. Grey."

He smiled. "You're very much welcome Anastasia. Please call me Christian from now on."

Albeit hesitant, she agreed. "S-Sure."

The elevator dinged open and she stepped inside. When she turned around, she saw him looking at her.

"Anastasia." He whispered her name.

"C-Christian."

With their eyes locked on each other, they waited until the door closed.

:::


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

1991

He woke up from the familiar sound of his mother crying. Forcing his sleepiness out of his young body, Christian roused from his bed and strode to her room. He stepped inside Ella's dark bedroom, not bothering to switch the light on. He already knew that his mother was on her bed, lying on her side and weeping.

"Mom?" He called, nearing her.

The light from the street lamp outside provided Christian enough glow to see his mother. The scene before him broke his tender 8-year old heart. Ella's face was red, tears marring her cheeks and her eyes were swollen from her cry. Without words, he climbed on the bed, laid next to her, wrapped his thin arm around her and leaned his head over hers.

"It's alright, mom. I'm here. I'm not going to leave you." He whispered repeatedly onto her brown hair, hoping his words would comfort her in some way.

This was not the first time Christian had witnessed his mother broke down and he already knew the reason for her tears. He might only be 8 but people said he was mature for his age.

Glancing at her still form, Christian felt her heart beating steady and realized she had calmed down and had eventually fallen back to sleep. He released a sigh of relief and waited for a few minutes, making sure she was in deep slumber, before moving. Carefully, he went back to his room.

Lying on his bed with his eyes on the ceiling, he thought how Ella had been crying more often lately. Ever since his grandparents' death 3 months ago, leaving his mother as Christian's only immediate family, Ella's break downs now came mostly every night. It was an abrupt change from her twice or thrice a week cries that Christian was used to before. He tried not to think about it but he started to feel worried for her.

:::

Present Time

 _Please call me Christian from now on._

Ana tried not to think of him but all her attempts had been unsuccessful since leaving his building two days ago. Tried as she might, she couldn't remove him and his grey eyes from her mind.

After her meeting with the enigmatic Mr. Christian Grey, she drove her way back to Vancouver, returned Kate's recorder to her along with the notes she had taken during the interview and performed her remaining scheduled task for that day. But Ana did everything almost absentmindedly. And she had been doing everything else the same way since then.

She shook her head and focused her eyes on the notes she was reviewing for her upcoming finals. But just like before, his words entered her mind.

 _... from now on..._

 _What did he mean when he told her to call him by his first name from now on?_ She asked herself. It wasn't like they would see each other again. They probably would since he was going to be at her graduation ceremony three weeks from now to confer the degrees. Christian had mentioned it at the beginning of the interview. But it wasn't like she would get a chance to interact with him.

Christian Grey, from what Ana had discovered from their meeting and from her few Google searches of his name, was a mega-industrialist tycoon who was an exceptional entrepreneur and a major benefactor of Washington State University, her school. Only 27 but had already successfully amassed an empire, Ana couldn't help but admire his accomplishments. For a successful businessman at such a young age, Christian was extraordinary. Although adopted at the age of 8 by Carrick and Grace Grey, he had overcome every hurdle he encountered and surpassed them all. After earning his business management degree in Harvard, he put up his business on his own and had become a self-made billionaire less than 5 years later.

He was way above her league, she thought heedlessly before she could stop herself. Stunned at the realization that she was interested in Christian, she froze on her seat.

Ana was 21 but she had never met a man who had made her feel like a lost soul just by staring at her. She was not as inexperienced as some people assumed she was. She had been to several first dates since she started college but the dates never felt right and worthy of second ones. She had been kissed twice on the lips but it stopped before it advanced. Whenever Kate would point out her lack of love life, Ana would reply how she felt the guys she had dated were wrong for her.

 _But why does when it comes to Christian, everything feels right?_

Too lost in her thoughts, she didn't see a man sat beside her.

:::

Christian knew she would be there. According to Luke Sawyer, the man he hired to follow Ana's every move as discreetly as possible, she was currently taking her lunch at the university park, a routine she had formed since her freshman year. Almost everyday, she would occupy a wooden bench at the least crowded part of the ground beside an old tree and would eat her lunch while reading her notes or book. Whenever Christian commanded, Sawyer would take pictures of her sitting alone while munching her food and would forward it to his phone. Although miles apart, Christian wanted to make sure he was aware of Ana's movements.

Striding towards his destination, he sensed several glances being thrown at him but didn't care. Being the mysterious Christian Grey, he was used to countless pairs of eyes gazing at him, following him. A disadvantage of being successful, he told himself dryly.

Subtly scanning his surroundings, he saw Sawyer sitting on one of the empty benches looking like one of the college students scattered around. Sawyer's location was always only a few steps from Ana but since she wasn't sensitive to her environment, she never noticed that a man had been following her for four years. Christian gave Sawyer a curt, unnoticeable nod when he passed by him before continuing his steps towards the woman who had been plaguing his mind for nights.

Seeing Ana instead of her best friend and roommate, Kate Kavanagh, in his building for a scheduled interview the other day had been a surprise for him. It wasn't part of the plan but Christian grabbed the chance to study her more. He wanted to know the real Anastasia Steele and not the woman he had learned from his men's reports.

Anastasia Steele was a shy woman, Christian could easily tell from the few times she looked down during the interview, unable to meet his gaze. It wasn't hard for him to sense how uneasy she felt whenever his stare lasted longer than what was acceptable because a blush had formed on her pale cheeks everytime.

He was glad to know that it wasn't just him who was affected when they were in each other's presence. Ana was as perturbed as he was, that much he was sure of.

Christian tried to suppress a grin, thinking moving onto the second part of the plan wasn't as hard as he had initially thought.

He closed their distance with long steps, wanting to reach her the soonest. Excitement in seeing her again had flooded his chest. Christian ignored it, blaming the unwelcome feeling to the foreseeable progress of his plan.

Catching Ana as if in a trance had worried him for a second. Sawyer never mentioned she was sick when Christian asked him for an update an hour ago.

 _Maybe she caught her best friend's flu_ , he guessed.

With his grey eyes on her, he sat quietly next to her. Christian was disappointed she didn't notice his presence. Ana seemed to be thinking deeply, her blue eyes were looking at something and nothing at the same time.

 _She is beautiful._

Christian had been in a company of attractive women many times already. Some were one-night stands. Others lasted longer because they had agreed to be with him casually because that was all he could offer. He didn't do relationships. He was a no-strings-attached kind of guy. Not that he was afraid of commitments but Christian didn't believe in romance. He wasn't into courting nor giving flowers to a woman. He couldn't promise her forever because that word was foreign to him.

If he was interested in a woman, he would disclose his stand about relationships with her. Most of the time she would accept and they would enjoy each other leisurely. But along the way, Christian would find out that she had fallen in love with him and was either demanding more from him or begging him to love her back. Christian would have to end things with her despite knowing he would be breaking her heart.

But finally seeing Ana in personal, Christian realized how different she was from the women he had encountered. Ana's beauty was different, it was captivating. The pictures in his collection didn't do her any justice.

It was a shame that he had to use her for the success of his goal.

Deciding to break her thoughts, Christian faked a cough and watched in amusement as she was abruptly pulled back to reality.

:::

A cough from beside her halted her wondering. Startled, Ana turned her head to the side and saw Christian, in his expensive suit, looking at her with delight in his eyes.

"Mr. Grey?! I mean, C-Christian?" She still wasn't comfortable in calling him by his first name.

"Hi, Ana." He greeted her casually. "Are you alright? You seem to be zoning out."

Her cheeks heated. "I'm fine. Just mulling over things. But I'm good. What are you doing here?"

Christian shrugged. "I had a meeting with the board. And since it finished early, I decided to roam around. I'm glad that I did."

"C-Christian,"

He glanced at her barely eaten sandwich and frowned. "Is that your lunch?"

Ana nodded.

"That won't do, Ana. You should be eating more." He uttered as if he was scolding a child. "How about you join me for lunch?"

"I don't think I can. My next class will be in an hour." Honestly, Ana would love to spend her lunch break with him but with her busy schedule, that would be impossible.

Christian seemed to contemplate but spoke after a while. "I know a decent place a few miles from here. I have my car and driver with me. We can go there and be back just in time for your next class. What do you think?"

Without thinking more, she agreed.

Christian stood up and helped her with her things.

"I can do that." She said, trying to take her books from his grip but he wouldn't budge.

"It's alright. Let's go, I'm starving."

With a hand at the small of her back, Christian led her to the parking space. It was a struggle for Ana to ignore the curious stares of her fellow students as she passed by them with a good looking man walking next to her.

"Don't mind them." Christian murmured onto her ear.

She slowly nodded but her steps hastened.

"Ana!"

:::

Ana heard a man's voice called her and she stopped. Christian saw a man, with the same age as hers, approached them from behind. His brows furrowed, recognizing the man as Jose Rodriguez, one of Ana's close friends. Christian knew each and everyone in her life. He knew everything about her. It was essential for his mission, he justified.

Jose's eyes darted between his friend and a man he didn't recognize before noticing the man's hand plastered over Ana's back. The man was holding her almost possessively and it unsettled Jose for a reason. He looked at her friend with questions in his eyes.

Christian watched as the smile on Jose's face dropped upon seeing his hold on Ana. One look and he knew of the younger man's hidden feelings for her. If he had to guess, Jose had been interested in her since meeting her for the first time but wasn't brave enough to let Ana know.

"Jose! Hi!" Ana stepped away from Christian to give her friend a brief embrace. "How are you?"

"Good. I've been good. You?" Jose answered and asked while glancing at Christian.

"I've been great. Busy but great." She responded. "Jose, this is Christian Grey. Christian, this is Jose Rodriguez." Ana introduced the two men and watched as they traded greetings.

"I have news." Jose started. "The Portland Place Gallery is going to exhibit my photos next month." He said proudly.

Happy and excited for him, Ana gave him another hug. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks! Tell me you'll be there for the opening."

Ana laughed as if he said something silly. "Of course, I'll be there."

A grin formed across Jose's lips at her reply.

:::

"Thanks for the lunch, Christian." Ana said as Christian's SUV pulled over the front of the school building.

To say the lunch was awkward with his silence was an understatement. As soon as they parted with Jose, Christian's demeanor had changed. He had never spoken a word until they reached his vehicle and only told his driver, Taylor, where to bring them. The ride towards the diner was filled with quietness and Ana was curious why.

The foods were delicious and were served fast, giving them enough time to enjoy it and return to the university with minutes to spare. They barely exchanged words while they ate, making Ana think of something she might have done that offended Christian. The ride back to the university was as silent as before.

Taylor stepped out of the SUV and opened Ana's door, staying outside until she climbed out. She was about to exit when she felt Christian's hand gripping her arm, stopping her.

"I..."

Christian seemed to be lost for words. He released his hold on her and sighed.

"Christian?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"Who?" Stunned and confused, Ana questioned.

"Jose Rodriguez." Christian was sure he knew the answer to his question but he wouldn't be satisfied until he heard it from her lips. Not after he witnessed how she acted and beamed at Jose.

A part of him was disappointed at the outcome of his lunch with Ana and he was blaming himself for it. He didn't know why but seeing her smiling and laughing with the younger man had brought out something unfamiliar from inside of him. It was an unpleasant feeling and Christian didn't like it.

"Jose?! He is a friend. Only a friend."

Her reply somehow pacified him.

"What made you assume he's my boyfriend?"

Christian frowned, remembering how Jose looked at her and how she seemed pleased to see him. "The way you act towards each other. You seem close."

Ana locked her eyes on him. "Yes, we are close friends. We've known each other for years. Even he and Kate are close. The three of us hang out together." She didn't know why she wanted him to understand that there was nothing going on between her and Jose. Ana felt the need to let Christian know that she wasn't interested with Jose, not like the way he had assumed.

 _I know._ Christian wanted to reply back. He knew about her more than he was letting on. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

She shook her head no. "I don't have a boyfriend. Why are you asking all these questions by the way?"

With certainty in his voice, he answered. "Because I want to know you more, Anastasia."

:::


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"W-What?!"

Christian's face was serious when he looked at her. "You don't believe me."

It wasn't a question but Ana shook her head no nonetheless. She didn't believe him, that was true.

His brows furrowed. "Why?"

Her voice was soft and uncertain when she answered. "Look at me."

"I am looking at you, Anastasia. And do you want to know what I see?" Christian didn't wait for her reply. He went on with his grey eyes still not leaving hers. "I see a woman who is unaware of her beauty, of how lovely she is. She doesn't know that her eyes are like the color of the sky, promising heaven for a mere mortal like me. She doesn't see how men are entranced by her smile, doesn't realize how they long to be the one at the receiving end of it. When I look at you, I see how kindhearted and lovely you are. You are an angel in disguise, Ana. And I'd be a fool if I let the chance of knowing you more passed by without even asking you. So here I am, asking your permission to allow me to see and know more about you."

Ana couldn't believe what she just heard.

 _Does he really think about her that way?_

With his words, Christian made her feel like she was special. Like she was more than just a simple English Literature student who was about to graduate. Like they were equals, no age difference nor financial distance between them. The way he had spoken, the intensity in his voice and the honesty in his eyes, they were all too good to be true. But she heard his each and every word and they floored her.

Staring at him, Ana wondered if what she was seeing was real.

 _Is he nervous? Is the indomitable Christian Grey anxious for her response?_

Christian seemed to be holding his breath while his question remained unanswered.

Conquering her own agitation, Ana found her voice. "I...I would love that, Christian."

His bright smile had her convinced that she made the right decision. Ana wanted to know more about him too. Since the moment she bumped into him less than a week ago, he had occupied her mind and even in her sleep, Christian was there. Learning that he was interested in her the same way she was in him, she couldn't help but feel the luckiest.

"Really?"

"You don't believe me." Ana cheekily replied.

Hearing Christian laughed made her heart skipped a beat.

:::

"Another flowers?" Kate asked, unsurprised, as she stepped out of her bedroom.

Ana closed their front door and headed towards the kitchen counter, a vase with more than a dozen of red and white roses in her hands. "Actually, yes. But they came with a gift." After setting the vase on top of the counter, she took an elegantly wrapped gift that she wedged between her armpits.

"What is it?" Kate came close and glanced at the item.

"I have no idea." Noticing a small card taped on the gift, Ana removed it and read the handwritten words to herself.

 _Ana,_

 _I saw these and immediately thought of you. Not that you left my mind at all. I'll see you soon._

 _Christian_

She carefully tore the gift open and her eyes widened at what she had uncovered. They were books. But not just ordinary books. They were three volumes of Thomas Hardy's Tess of the d'Ubervilles. If her eyes could widen more, they would when she inspected the old cloth-covered books more. They were first editions and surely costed Christian a fortune.

"He must really like you." Kate commented, gazing at the gift.

"I... I don't know."

Making out doubt in Ana's voice, the blonde woman's sight darted to her. "Ana?"

Ana sighed and voiced out the fact that had been bothering her since agreeing to Christian's 'getting to know more' proposal last Wednesday. "He's a playboy, Kate."

Ana didn't need to dig deeper about the famous billionaire to discern how he had never been in a serious relationship before. A simple typing of the words Christian Grey in the Internet had produced numerous news, articles and interviews about him from different sources. Not to mention the countless pictures of him uploaded in the World Wide Web. And in almost all of those images, he had a woman in his arm, different woman in different occasions. Christian was even tagged as 'one of the world's most handsome billionaire playboys'.

She tried to deny how she wasn't concerned about it but she was. It worried her that she was going to be just another one of those women who passed by Christian's life but never stayed.

 _Maybe I made a wrong decision of allowing him into my life._

Her heart ached at the thought. She was aware that she had just met him, 7 days ago to be exact. It had only been a week since their paths crossed outside her favorite coffee shop, 4 days since she interviewed him and learned of his identity and 2 days since he made his interest in her known. They had never been in a real date yet, Ana thought.

After they parted ways last Wednesday, Christian had never been back to Vancouver to see her. He was currently occupied with his business. Some merger his company was working on, he mentioned over one of his late night calls. He had been calling and texting her for two days without falter. Ana had also been receiving a vase of flowers from him with notes telling her how he was always thinking of her and wishing to see her the soonest. She was flattered at his attention. Despite his busy schedule, Christian always found a way to let her know that he had never forgotten about her.

But despite all his efforts, Ana's wariness still lingered. Because in a very short amount of time, Christian had accomplished what others who attempted to woo her failed to do. Without him knowing, he pushed his existence in her life, broke all the barriers she unintentionally built around herself and made her consider that maybe, maybe he could be the man for her.

"Ana," Concern was apparent in Kate's voice when she spoke. Raising a hand, she gently patted Ana's shoulder. "I don't know him personally. But if I'm going to believe every written things about him and those pictures in the Internet, yes, he is a playboy. But we both know we shouldn't presume that those images are the real deal or the writers of those articles knew everything."

"Does that mean that he is not who they made him out to be? He is not a playboy? That he's not going to hurt me?"

Kate smiled sadly. "I wish I can tell you that I know all the answers to your questions but I don't. I'm honestly afraid for you. I've never seen you like this before. You're not like me, Ana. You don't just allow a stranger into your life and definitely not into your heart. But with Christian, for the first time, you did. Not in your heart yet but I'd like to think that in time, if everything goes well, he'll reach it. And I only hope he'll take good care of it."

Ana hugged her best friend tightly. Overwhelmed by her words, she was speechless.

Kate returned her embrace. For a minute, they were silent.

"Did I just say all those words?" The blonde woman grimaced and their laughter filled their living room.

"C'mon, Jose's probably there waiting for us." Ana reminded when they both calmed down.

:::

Giggling, the two best friends walked arm in arm towards the bar Kate frequented every Friday night since they moved from Montesano to Vancouver to study at Washington State University. Since it was close to the school, the place was always filled with students like them.

Just before they reached the door, Ana felt her cellphone vibrated in her pocket. Digging it out, she saw Christian's name flashing in the screen.

"Kate, you go ahead first. I need to answer this." She told her friend, holding out the gadget.

Seeing who the caller was, Kate nodded. "Okay. Just don't take too long."

Ana watched Kate entered the bar before pressing the answer call button on her cellphone. "Hello,"

 _"Anastasia."_

Hearing Christian's voice from the other end had always made her heart beat faster and this time was no different.

"Christian. I'm glad you called. I received the flowers, they're beautiful. Thank you. And the books, they're collector's items and must have cost you a lot."

 _"You deserve the flowers, Ana. About the books, I thought you'll like it."_

"Yes, I love them. I... I just don't want you to spend so much for me, Christian. You don't have to do that."

 _"Just like the flowers, you deserve every gifts I gave and will give you. I don't care about its price. And it makes me happy to shower you with the things I assume you'll like."_

Despite still feeling uncomfortable with the possibility of more expensive things he would buy for her, Ana acquiesced. "O-okay."

 _"Good. Now tell me where are you? I hear noises in the background."_

"I'm at Notes, it's a bar near my school. I promised Kate I'll join her and Jose next time she goes out so I'm here." She explained.

 _"Alright. I'll see you soon, Ana."_

Confused at his abrupt goodbye, Ana was left with no other choice but bid her own. "See you soon, Christian. Goodbye."

:::

Barely hanging onto his sanity, Christian thanked the sound of message alert his cellphone made that distracted him from what he was almost about to do, firing everyone with him inside his conference room.

The past couple of days had been gruesome for him. The merger his company was working on had unwarranted complications. Christian's only consolations had been hearing Ana's voice and reading her messages. He hated that he hadn't had a chance to see her again and take her out yet. Ever since Ana gave him a chance, he had been looking forward to spending more time with her.

Christian didn't mean to let his interest in her be known that soon, aware how they only just met. But the unwanted emotion he felt when she saw her talking and smiling with another man made him act sooner than intended.

He couldn't remember the last time he had been nervous. Christian took risks. He wouldn't be as successful as he was today if he hadn't. But every venture he had entered since he started his business, he made sure that he was going to win at the end. Losing was never in his vocabulary. That had been one of the secrets of his success.

But for the first time, he took a risk he had no idea if he was going to win. He asked Ana but wasn't sure what her answer would be. He just hoped he had caught her attention enough for her to agree. Ana stunned him again with her reply. She agreed.

Christian dismissed the small part in him that wished she had said no. Was it his conscience? He knew he didn't have one so that would be impossible. What is it that made him hate her a bit for agreeing to his proposal. Because Ana letting him into her life was giving him permission to hurt her. And there was no going back for him.

Grabbing his cellphone, Christian opened it and read Sawyer's message.

 _Miss Steele just left her apartment with Miss Kavanagh. From the way Miss Kavanagh is dressed, there's a big possibility they're going to a bar. They took a cab and I'm following them right now._

He frowned, hating that it was almost 9 in the evening and Ana went outside to do God knows what. Suddenly the room grew silent. Christian didn't realize he stood up hastily that his chair fell down behind him. He looked at everyone. They were staring at him in confusion.

"Ros," he called his second.

The woman, who had obviously noticed the urgency in his tone, was quick to pace towards him. "What is it, Grey?"

"I'm leaving. Finish everything tonight and give me the report before midnight." Christian instructed. Without waiting for her response, he left the room. His employees could only watch his retreating form.

He immediately called Taylor and ordered him to ready Charlie Tango, his helicopter, telling the older man he would be leaving for Vancouver as soon as possible. Christian could sense the shock in Taylor's voice at his sudden plan but was wise enough to keep his mouth close.

Less than 5 minutes later, Christian was flying Charlie Tango and would be landing at the helipad of one of his buildings in Vancouver in half an hour. Taylor was tasked to make sure there was an available car for him to use. Halfway through his flight, he received Sawyer's text informing him that Ana and Kate's cab just pulled over in front of Notes, a bar near Ana's school.

Christian dialed Ana's number and after several rings, she answered. Her soft voice immediately calmed the erratic beating of his heart. After pacifying Ana's concern about his expenditures for her and confirming her location, he ended the call.

The thought of Ana inside a bar, drunk and swaying to the loud music while a man dancing with her, his hands on her, and her enjoying the stranger's touch had Christian clenched his jaw. He couldn't wait to land and drive to where she was. He never thought he would have the longest 15 minutes of his life while up in the air.

:::

"Here," Jose placed a glass of beer in front of her and sat beside her.

"Thanks." Ana grabbed her second glass for the night and took a huge gulp. She couldn't believe she was enjoying herself. The alcohol in her system had somehow appeased her worries. If she had known earlier that drinking beer would made her forget the things running chaotically in her mind even just for a moment, she would have joined Kate in her Friday nights more frequently.

Her sight caught her best friend dancing unabashedly in the dance floor with a man she recognized as one of their fellow students.

 _Kate really knows how to appreciate life,_ she thought.

"Do you want to dance?" Jose asked.

"Maybe later."

Jose's face saddened at her response but Ana didn't want to dance. She just wanted to watch the people around her while sipping her beer.

Her second glass was almost empty when she noticed a man in a suit with tousled hair entered the bar. Maybe she was drunk because the man looked exactly like Christian. That would be impossible, her tipsy mind argued. Christian was in Seattle closing a business deal or stuff like that and the distance between them was a long 2-hour drive.

As if already knowing where she was, his gaze locked on her as he walked towards her with long steps.

Ana was frozen in her spot as he reached her.

"C-Christian? H-how?"

:::


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

He strode inside already knowing where she was seated. All thanks to Sawyer who had been keeping tabs on her the entire time. Christian barely acknowledged Jose's presence beside her. His attention was focused on Ana's obviously startled face.

"C-Christian? H-How?"

"Anastasia," He tried not to smirk. Clearly, she thought less of him. Instead of answering her question, he opted to take her out from that noisy place as quickly as he could. Christian glanced and nodded at the younger man who looked just as surprised as Ana.

 _Good._

He darted his eyes back on her and asked. "Can we talk?"

Blinking her surprise, Ana composed herself. "Of course."

Christian helped hoisting her up by grasping her upper arm. Leading the way, he walked her outside.

As soon as they were out, Ana turned to him, sober all of a sudden, concern dancing in her eyes. "Is everything alright? Why are you here? And how?"

Christian placed his hands over her shoulders to calm her. "Everything's alright, Ana. I'm here because..." He paused, lost for words unexpectedly.

 _Why am I here? What made me fly from Seattle unannounced?_

How was he going to answer her when he didn't even know why just a thought of her possibly meeting someone else had him doing irrational things? Since when did he become possessive over someone? Christian's head starting to ache, unable to answer the questions.

His hands went to hers and held them gingerly. "I'm here because I won't last another day without seeing you. I miss you, Anastasia."

There was truthfulness in his reply. Despite how he tried to convince himself that he didn't, Christian honestly did miss her.

"I miss you too." She whispered, blush forming on her cheeks.

"You don't know how I'm happy to hear that. How about I take you somewhere else? A dinner perhaps?" He offered, looking forward to spending his recently-seized free time with her.

"Where?"

:::

"You know this is not how I pictured our first date."

Ana turned to the man sitting beside her on the couch. She swallowed the bite of dumpling she was chewing before speaking. "What's wrong with you and me sharing these delicious Chinese foods while watching HBO?"

Christian shook his head and smiled. "Actually, nothing. It's just that I want our first date to be something special and memorable."

"Believe me, Christian, this is very special and memorable."

Christian studied her face and the sincere smile she had on. She really was something else, he was convinced.

A while ago when Ana asked where they were going, he immediately gave her the name of a French restaurant he had visited several times when he was in the area, thinking it would be good enough for their first official date given how impromptu the event turned. But she refused and insisted that they take out their meals and eat them in her place instead.

For a moment, Christian wondered if it was drunk Ana he was talking with but Sawyer reported that she had only drunk two glasses of beer before Christian arrived. Thinking it would be better to follow her, he acquiesced at her suggestion.

Less than half an hour later, Christian found himself lounging comfortably in her living room, his coat and tie had long been removed, his long sleeves were rolled up on his arms with two top buttons already opened and was presently devouring his carton of Kung Pao Chicken. From French cuisine, they were nibbling Chinese take outs, another one of Ana's suggestions.

If anyone who knew him could see him right now, they would be half-amused and half-terrified. Christian Trevelyan Grey relaxing? That would be a first. They would probably wonder if the world was going to end or if he was abducted by the aliens. But he didn't care. Because surprisingly, he was enjoying himself. Ana's idea of first date wasn't so bad after all. She was right, tonight was indeed very special and memorable.

 _He has been working so hard._

That was her initial thought the moment they stepped out of the bar. Despite the dimness surrounding them, Ana could make out the fatigue in his face. Christian's hair was disheveled from what she would assume many times of fingers-raking. The suit he was wearing was crumpled after an unmistakable long day at work. Ana's heart went instantly out to him. He needed to relax. That was the reason she suggested that they bring their food back in her apartment and she was glad he agreed.

So after bidding goodbye to Kate and Jose, she left the bar with Christian. They drove to her favorite Chinese restaurant and bought their meals before going back to her place. It was a blessing in disguise that Kate would not be arriving tonight. She received a text message from her blonde best friend, informing her she would be sleeping somewhere else for the night and not to worry. Apparently, Kate had seen one of her exes in the bar and was now with the man.

For the first time since Kate had formed a habit of not going home after spending the earlier of night in a bar, Ana had been grateful. She knew Christian valued his privacy, how little it seemed to be. And she didn't want to risk making him uneasy with Kate's presence.

"Yes, it is."

Christian's confirmation had her smile widened.

"Really?" She asked.

He nodded, a rare teasing smile plastered on his face. "Besides, you have waged a very enticing offer, Miss Steele. Me, you and Chinese foods? Who can say no to that? Are you sure you don't want an internship at Grey Enterprises? We could use your bargaining talent."

She chuckled, recalling how he offered her an internship at his headquarter during her interview with him. Ana strongly declined his suggestion, aware she wouldn't be able to perform her job efficiently when the man who was making her stutter was only floors away.

"Very funny, Mr. Grey. But still no." She rolled her eyes. "I already told you, there's no way I'm going to work for you."

"Still planning on moving to Seattle?" Christian inquired.

Since they started talking over the phone, they had already traded information about themselves. Ana had learned that Christian's adopted parents were originally from Detroit but moved to Seattle right after Christian was legally brought to them. From what he had mentioned so far, his father, Carrick was a lawyer and his mother, Grace, was a pediatrician. He had two siblings, also adopted by the couple. Elliot, his older brother, was in construction business while Mia, the youngest, was currently in Paris, studying cookery.

Ana told him about her life too. She discussed her parents, Ray and Carla, who were both high school teachers in their small town in Montesano. She even disclosed how being an only child, she felt unnecessarily sheltered by them and that her move to Seattle after graduation was something she fought for with them.

"Yes. Kate and I have been planning for it since we started college. It's a good thing we found an apartment that's budget friendly for two unemployed new grads."

"You know I think there are some vacancies in my residential buildings. If you want-"

"Stop it, Christian. I know you have money, a lot of it in fact, but I don't want it. I appreciate what you're trying to do but I want to make it on my own. I may take a while but I'll get there."

There was an apparent conviction in her voice that Christian couldn't help but admire.

 _Admire? What the-?_

He shook his head and cleared his throat. Now was not the time to ponder what was going on with him. "I believe in you, Anastasia. But if you need anything, you'll let me know alright? There are perks when you're dating me, you're free to use it."

"Oh, I intend to, Mr. Grey."

Ana's words were meant to tease him but after she had spoken, they found themselves looking at each other intensely.

The room had suddenly grown silent.

Without words, Christian put his unfinished food on the center table and did the same thing with hers. Turning to her, he lifted a hand and gently cupped her cheek. "You're very beautiful." He whispered before closing the distance between them. His lips landed on hers and for the first time, they shared their very first kiss.

:::

Lost in his thought, Christian climbed the stairs of his penthouse and walked straight to a locked room beside his bedroom. He dug out a key from his pants' pocket and used it to open the room. Stepping inside, he flicked the lights on and was immediately welcomed by the cold and somber ambience of the space.

The room appeared to be an ordinary office, a dark mahogany desk was in the center, a high-back leather swivel chair behind it, a file cabinet on the right and a mini bar on the left.

He sauntered over to the bar, poured himself a scotch and drunk it in one gulp. After refilling the glass and setting it over the table, Christian sat on the chair, leaned his tired body back and closed his eyes. For a moment, he allowed himself to delve on what had happened back at Ana's.

Christian wasn't expecting the sweetness of her lips. He didn't foresee the startling effect of kissing her would bring to him. When his lips touched hers, he was instantly lost. She was inexperienced yet she had affected him the most.

He was no virgin and had kissed numerous women over the years but never had they made him almost lose his tightly-reined control. As a businessman, Christian had to take charge of his emotions. A man with scattered feelings and thoughts had no place in the world he was in.

But since meeting Ana, things had started to be different. All his practiced restraints were gone the moment he tasted her. For a second, he wanted to do more than just kissing her. Christian needed more, needed to feel the softness of her skin against his, needed to know how she would fit perfectly in his arms and needed to let himself get lost to her.

But he stopped.

Because that wasn't part of his plan.

Christian didn't know how but he made it back to Escala. He was able to pull himself away from her, albeit with great reluctance.

Fluttering his eyes open, he noticed a remote beside his glass. He grabbed it and contemplated before pushing the button. Christian had his eyes focused on the empty wall facing him and waited. Slowly, a huge canvas unrolled and descended from the ceiling until it almost reached the floor. A picture printed on the canvas of a young woman in a blue toga came in his view as it occupied the entire space of the wall. Her innocent blue eyes were beaming with joy as her fingers clutched her graduation cap.

It was the first picture he had of Ana.

The private investigator Christian hired was able to acquire her graduation picture when she finished high school and he had it enlarged so he could memorize the face of the one who was going to pay for her mother's wrongdoings.

Anastasia Rose Steele, only daughter of Carla Wilks Steele. Carla Wilks was the woman who caused him so much pain. She was the reason why he grew up without a father, why his mother had never recovered from depression and eventually decided it would be best to kill herself, making him an orphan in the process.

19 years ago, Christian Andrew Dawson vowed on his mother's grave that he would make the person that caused him to lose everything pay for what she did. During that time, he had no name nor face of that person. But he had heard enough hearsay and Christian made sure to remember every clues and details he could use when he was about to exact his revenge.

Years passed and he became who he was right now. The journey he had to take to reach his current state and be the present Christian Grey was long and bumpy but he made it.

And the time for vengeance had come.

One of the good things about being a billionaire was you had the resources to make the almost impossible things possible. With his money, he finally had the name and face of the woman who had started it all. Carla Wilks now known as Carla Steele. Reports about her poured out from the men he paid to dig into every details of her life, from the moment she left Detroit to move to Montesano until the present. And when he learned of her only daughter, Anastasia, a devious plot was made.

What better way to hurt Carla than hurt her precious Ana? It would surely destroy the mother to see her only daughter in pain. And Christian was going to make it happen.

He was going to destroy Carla by letting her taste her own medicine. She seduced his father, he was going to seduce Ana. She betrayed his mother's trust, Christian was going to do the same with her daughter. In the end, Carla would fall, broken like her best friend Ella, his mother.

But looking at Ana's smiling face now, he suddenly felt unsure.

 _What are you doing to me?_

Teeth gritting, he grabbed his glass of scotch and threw it across the room. It hit Ana's picture with a force and landed on the floor in pieces.

:::

From her bedroom, Ana heard the front door opening and Kate's voice calling her name. Grabbing her shoulder bag, she exited and saw Kate sitting on the breakfast stool with her head on top of the counter.

"Good morning." Ana greeted her best friend.

"Good morning."

Instead of pouring coffee, Ana brought out a pitcher of orange juice from the refrigerator, filled a glass and set it down within Kate's reach. Her poor best friend looked hung over. "Drink this. It'll help you."

With her eyes closed, Kate seized the glass and sipped it. "You're the best."

"I know."

When Kate opened her eyes, they ran over Ana's frame. "It's early. Where are you going?"

"Actually, I don't know. Christian's driver, Taylor, will pick me up any moment now."

Kate's ears perked up hearing Christian's name. "Christian?"

"Yes. Before he left last night, he asked if we could spend today together." She explained, trying to act as nonchalant as she could.

But Kate was Kate.

"Something happened last night." The blonde woman turned to her.

Ana felt the heat spread on her cheeks and she blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're hung over. You should take a rest."

Kate shook her head. "I know there is." She insisted. "Did you have sex?"

"Katherine?!" Ana yelled, flabbergasted.

"So, did you?"

"No! We kissed."

"Kissed?"

"Yes, kissed. Once. On the lips."

And Ana started recalling the reason why sleep eluded her last night.

Christian's face going down on hers. His lips catching hers. The undeniable passion she felt when the kiss deepened.

Everything in the world was forgotten while their lips were locked. But Christian stopped. Ana could see how he was restraining himself when he pulled away and she was sure her face showed the same. They both collected themselves quietly.

Glances were exchanged while they finished their meals. Christian spent a few more minutes before leaving. He asked if she had plans for the next day. When Ana answered she was free, he told if she wanted, Taylor would pick her up and they could spend the whole day together. Without hesitation, she agreed.

He kissed her cheek before climbing in his car and driving away.

"My God, Anastasia!"

Kate's cry had her stopped reminiscing. Ana looked at her best friend who was eyeing her seriously.

"You're really into him."

"Is that wrong?" Ana asked, curious why Kate seemed concerned.

"I worry for you. It's my job as your best friend. Just be careful, okay?"

Before she could reply, their doorbell rang. "That's probably Taylor." Ana planted a kiss on her friend's cheek. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

After making sure she looked alright and got her bag with her, she opened the door and Taylor greeted her warmly.

"Good morning, Miss Steele."

"Good morning, Taylor."

:::

Taylor drove her to a high-rise building in the small business district of Vancouver. They rode the elevator in silence. Not knowing what to expect, Ana was anxious when they reached the rooftop. The door opened and Christian welcomed her, looking younger than his age in a dark blue knitted sweater and pair of light brown casual pants.

"Thank you, Taylor." He told his driver before turning to her.

Christian's arm was on her waist in an instant as he kissed her cheek chastely. "Good morning, Ana."

"Good morning, Christian. You look rested now."

"Do I? Maybe I had a goodnight's sleep."

"I hope you had."

She wanted him to kiss her, like the way he did last night but Christian didn't. Instead, Ana felt his hand moved to hers, leading her to a waiting helicopter.

"So this is why you were able to reach me last night."

A small smile formed on his lips. "Yes."

"You can fly this thing?" Wide-eyed, she asked when he directed her to one of the front seats inside and buckled her before sitting next to her.

"I'm a qualified pilot, have been for four years now." He answered matter-of-factly while attaching his own harness. "Don't worry, you're safe with me. You'll arrive in Seattle in one piece."

"Oh." Was all Ana could say.

Their flight to Seattle was short but Ana felt the opposite. Christian was distant. She assumed it was because he had his focus on flying that he seemed serious. They talked briefly but his words had been short and terse.

There was a nagging feeling in her that Ana tried to deny but couldn't. And it scared her.

:::

Christian could feel her tension as they were waiting for the elevator that would bring them to his apartment after they exited the helicopter at the rooftop of Escala. He thought what he wouldn't give to be able to remove her worry, discerning he was who caused it. But he had to remain collected.

He closed his eyes last night and drifted to sleep with his mother's shaky voice and tearful eyes as his last thoughts. He couldn't forget what had brought him in Ana's life in the first place. He couldn't let what he vowed to do leave his mind. He couldn't succumb to his infatuation with her.

Yes. Last night Christian had finally acknowledged his growing infatuation with Ana. There was no use in denying how the person he planned on hurting had unknowingly started affecting him. Thinking if he was able to admit his uninvited emotion, he would be able to let it go, hopefully forget about it and had himself focused on his plan.

But the second Ana entered the rooftop back in Vancouver, he had to hold himself and not pull her into his arms and gave her a breathtaking kiss. Even now as they rode the elevator, Christian was finding it hard to resist the temptation that was her lips.

"Screw it."

Ana heard his harsh voice before she found herself pressed against his, his arms were wound around her, his lips were on hers. She closed her eyes and welcomed the kiss. It was deep and needy and she returned it with the same intensity.

For a moment, Ana believed she and Christian were two lost souls who found each other at last.

:::


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The ding sound of the elevator forced Christian and Ana to part. Both gasping for much needed air, they tried to fix themselves hurriedly. The door slid open and Christian grasped Ana's hand before they stepped out, a move that confused her even more.

Ana saw a blonde older woman rushing towards them. Disbelief was in her eyes when she spotted Ana but it disappeared quickly.

"Sir,"

Christian cut the woman's words to introduce her to Ana. "Gail, I'd like you to meet Anastasia Steele, my girlfriend. Ana this is Gail Jones, my cook and housekeeper."

Though surprised at being introduced as his girlfriend, Ana hid it when she held a palm out for the older woman. "Nice to meet you, Gail. Are you related to Taylor in someway?"

Gail took her hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Miss Steele. Yes, Taylor Jones is my husband."

Ana was about to tell her to just simply call her 'Ana' when a loud woman's voice was heard from the living area of Christian's penthouse.

"Gail! I heard the elevator opened! Is it my brother?"

Christian froze on his spot. He glared at his housekeeper who looked apologetic. "She's here?"

"I tried to tell you, sir."

Curious as to who they were talking about, Ana's gaze turned to Christian. Her wondering was answered when a dark haired woman, who looked the same age as hers, suddenly emerged to their sights.

The woman, Ana guessed, was Mia, Christian's youngest sibling.

"Christian!"

The woman strode towards them, beaming brightly. Her arms were wide open as she reached for Christian.

"Mia, I'm surprised to see you." He uttered while hugging his sister.

Surprise was an understatement. Christian wasn't expecting his whirlwind of a sister would come barging in his place unannounced. He knew she was back from Paris the other day, Grace informed him when she called yesterday. But with the busyness at his work, he had no time to welcome and see his sister.

Mia, the spitfire, grinned mischievously. "Of course you are."

"Mia,"

Before Christian could finish his sentence, Mia turned to Ana and her face lit up.

"Hi! I'm Mia, Christian's favorite sister." She introduced herself.

Ana found herself enclosed in a tight embrace. "I'm Ana."

"You're my only sister, Mia. I am left with no other choice."

The dark haired woman brushed off her brother's comment and eyed Ana. A crease formed on her forehead. "You look familiar. I'm sure I've seen you before."

"Really? I'm from Montesano and is currently living in Vancouver. I rarely goes here." She wondered innocently.

Christian's heart started pounding loudly in his chest. He hoped Mia would not remember Ana from a picture she had seen four years ago. It was a reckless mistake on his part, he hated to admit.

He left Ana's dossier open on top of his desk in his headquarter's office when he went out to meet with a client. Upon his return, Andrea informed him of Mia's presence inside his office. Christian entered and spotted his sister holding Ana's folder, a picture of the brunette was stapled in front. He was quick to grab it and angrily chided Mia for snooping. Teary-eyed, his sister apologized and left his office hastily. They never discussed what happened.

"Is that true? Maybe I'm wrong. Never mind." Mia shrugged flippantly.

"How about we let Ana breathe?" Christian was about to grab Ana's hand again but his sister had a better idea.

Mia linked her arm with Ana and proceeded to drag her towards the living area. "How about you let me chat with her, Chris?"

Before Christian could reply, the two women were already sitting on the couch. He shook his head helplessly and turned to Gail, who quietly watched the exchange with amusement. "Were you able to buy all the ingredients you need for the menu I asked?"

"Yes, sir. Everything is complete and I'm almost finish with cooking."

Christian nodded. "Okay. I'll be in my office for a while."

Glancing at his sister and Ana, he felt somewhat relieved that his secret remained a secret. There was no way he could let Ana know the things he already did and planned on doing. Walking upstairs, Christian passed by his secret room and out of habit, twisted the knob to make sure it was locked. He was the only person who had a key of the room and the only one who knew of its content.

Satisfied that everything was safe, he turned away and walked towards his office and entered.

:::

"I know I met you accidentally. Christian has no idea I'll be here and I'm pretty sure he's mad at me right now. But I'm glad to see you with him." Mia spoke as soon as they were seated.

"He doesn't like surprises?"

"To say the least." Mia's carefree stance turned serious. "Chris is... well he's not an easy person to get along with. He's like a closed book, you know. Too serious, too guarded. Like there's a thick, impenetrable wall surrounding him. Sometimes, he seems angry at the world. I think his attitude has something to do with his life before he's adopted." She mumbled thoughtfully.

"We haven't talk about it yet."

"It's something he rarely talks about. But I know he'll tell you all about it. He seems drawn to you."

Recalling Christian's distant attitude not so long ago, Ana doubted Mia's words. "I don't think he likes me that much."

Mia's brown eyes widened. "You're kidding, right?"

"No."

"I'm aware my brother has this 'playboy' image the world makes out of him but I'll let you in on the truth. First, never, as in not for once, he brought a woman here. This place is his refuge." Mia roamed her sight around Christian's spacious penthouse before continuing. "And second, despite how many women he has dated or were linked to him, he never introduced any of them to us, his family. I remember him talking about it with our parents. He told them the only woman who's going to step foot in this place and whom he's going to introduce to us is the woman he's going to marry, if he found her he added. He's very adamant in his 'if' statement by the way. But seeing you here with him, I believe he finally found what's he's been looking for."

:::

"You're quiet." He commented while eyeing Ana. "You don't like the food?"

She was quick to reply. "No, they're all delicious and surprisingly my favorites." Ana glanced at the feast Gail prepared. The dining table was filled with almost all of her favorite foods, from clam chowder to baked salmon. A whole round of blueberry cheesecake was served for dessert. "Please thank Gail for me, she's a kitchen genius. How did you know that I love all of these?"

"Wild guess." Was Christian's only response.

Minutes of silence passed by as they finished their meal.

Much to Christian's relief, Mia bid goodbye to them before the lunch was served, telling them she was scheduled to meet her friends and they would probably spend the entire day at the mall.

After eating, Christian brought her back to the living area. This time, Ana was able to roam her eyes around.

His place was big and very spacious with only a few things in display. The entire floor was surrounded by floor to ceiling windows that provided illumination and views of Seattle.

Ana walked towards the grand piano at the center and her fingers lightly grazed the keys. "Do you play?"

"Yes."

She wished she could hear him play even just once.

"Tell me what's wrong."

Ana released a sigh. No matter how sumptuous and delightful their lunch was, Mia's words stayed and it added to the turmoil in her mind. Christian's sister was convinced that she was different from the women her brother dated. Ana wanted to believe her, she really did, but for some reason a part of her couldn't.

Instead of answering him, she asked. "Why am I here, Christian? You never brought a woman here before. What am I doing here?"

He didn't speak.

Ana watched him turned away and moved towards the glass window.

"Have you ever had a feeling that you think you have everything figured out only to realize that destiny has a plan of her own?" He questioned in almost whisper.

Whirling around to her, Ana could see the how torn he appeared to be. There was pain in his eyes when he looked at her.

"I'm good with making plans and following them to a T, Anastasia. I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't think about others. For as long as I'm sure to win, let them cry for all I care. But meeting you, seeing you for the first time, letting me have a taste of what's it like to be with you, all my goals are suddenly pointless. The things I promised to do, they make no sense anymore."

Christian ran his hand through his hair in helplessness.

"I don't understand."

He laughed without humor. "Of course you don't. I don't even know what I'm blabbering about myself."

Christian closed their distance. Reaching for her, he raised both hands to cupped her cheeks, thumbs softly caressed her skin, eyes locked on hers. "I want to... You don't know how much I want to forget everything. How much I wish we met under different circumstances. How things will be a lot easier if we're two different people who just bumped into each other unexpectedly outside a coffee shop one ordinary day."

"Christian?" _What is he talking about? That's how they met._

Ignoring her confusion, he went on. "Because it'll be a lot easier for me to tell you that I'm starting to care about you, that you fill all my waking thoughts and dreams, that whenever you'd look at me, you're making me feel like I'm a good man."

"You are a good man."

He removed his hands from her and glared at her almost angrily. "No, I'm not! You don't know me, Ana! You don't know all the terrible things I did and plan to do! You'll hate me if you do!"

Stubbornly, Ana shook her head no. "I could never hate you."

"Don't say that. Don't make me hope that in the end, we'll have our happy ending."

She came near him and took his hands with hers. "Who's to say that we are doomed to fail? Life is full of uncertainties. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week. And I honestly don't care. Because right now is what's important to me. I'm beginning to care about you too, Christian. It's something I have no control of. I can't stop myself. I don't think I want to."

"I'll hurt you, Anastasia."

There was certainty in his voice that should have put Ana on the edge but she dismissed it.

She locked her gaze at him and let himself see from her eyes the truth. "You won't. And if you do, I know that it won't be your intention. Besides, we are all fated to get hurt at some point in our lives. I'd like to believe you're worth the risk."

:::

Looking at him from her seat inside the university auditorium, she couldn't help but smile. She was happy. For the first time in her life, Ana could say that she was genuinely happy. And it wasn't because today was her graduation ceremony.

It had been a week since she and Christian admitted their growing feelings for each other and everything had been perfect. Christian had visited her thrice for the past 7 days and they went out to dinners and movies. His flowers, small tokens, calls and texts had been consistent. Ana was relieved that he listened and no other expensive gifts were bought for her.

Despite that it had been her Finals week, she had been in Seattle twice with Kate to finalize the contract of their apartment. The move was scheduled tomorrow. And whenever Ana was in Seattle, Christian would insist that she came to his place. They would eat meals Gail tirelessly cooked for them. They would watch movies in his living area and halfway through it, a kiss was shared.

Ana loved kissing him. Unlike her two previous experiences with different guys, she could feel the strong connection she had with Christian and she knew he was feeling the same. They were both having a hard time containing their increasing desire for each other.

Her cellphone vibrating broke her thought. Retrieving it from her pocket, Ana immediately saw a message from Christian. She looked at him and saw his eyes glued at her. Reading his text, she blushed.

 _"You're thinking of me."_

Guilty, Ana replied. "How did you know?"

 _"I know you, Miss Steele. And from what I see, what you're thinking isn't appropriate to do right at the moment."_

"I didn't know you read minds, Mr. Grey. Can you tell me how?"

 _"Only yours. To answer your question: you're_ _biting your lips."_

She noticed Christian was right, her lower lip was tucked under her front teeth. Ana stopped it instantly. Glancing at him again, she saw him smirking teasingly.

She glared at him but a smile never left her face the entire time.

:::

Ana was up on the stage to receive her degree. With her diploma in one hand, she passed by Christian.

"Congratulations, Miss Steele." He said as he shook her free hand, his teasing smile was still plastered on his lips.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey." Ana answered. She was about to turn away but her hand was still in his grip. "Chri-"

"I miss you." He whispered.

"I miss you too. I'll see you later, ok?"

Hesitantly, he let her go. Christian's eyes followed her as she stepped down the stairs and walked her way back to her seat. He almost didn't notice the next graduate was already in his front waiting for his acknowledgement.

Turning to the woman with a small smile, he said. "Congratulations."

:::

From one corner of the marquee, he was watching her. His position was partially hidden from the view of the people inside. The ceremony had ended and teachers, students, parents and visitors had started filling the space. Champagne in flutes was already being served.

She came in with her parents. They all looked delighted. The proud beam in both Ray's and Carla's eyes were hard to deny while Ana looked simply happy. Her bright blue eyes were shimmering with content. And as his knowledge of her deepened since they began dating, Christian could easily claim that he caused her happiness.

Because she did the same for him. Ana brought him joy. For the first time in his life, he was happy and fulfilled. And it was because of her.

The words she said to him and how she bravely faced her feelings made Christian reconsider everything. With Ana in his life, he believed that a time would come he would be able to let his painful past go. With her by his side, Christian would find a reason to forgive.

When her eyes began roaming around, he sensed she was looking for him. They already talked about today. Ana was going to introduce him to her parents. She had no idea that Christian knew Ray and Carla more than she knew them.

He strode towards them and let himself seen.

Ana's face brightened upon spotting him. She turned to her parents. "Mom, Dad, there's someone I'd like you to meet." She glanced at Christian who was only a few steps away. She waited until he was standing beside her before turning back to her parents. "Mom, Dad, this is Christian Grey, my boyfriend."

One hand automatically settled on Ana's back while he offered the other in greeting. "Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Steele."

Both stunned, the older couple was speechless for a moment.

Ray cleared his throat to collect himself. He took Christian's hand and gave it a firm handshake. "Mr. Grey, I'm sorry, my wife and I are just surprised."

"I understand, sir. Please call me Christian."

Ana watched Christian's interaction with Ray with a smile but when she glanced at her mother, her brows furrowed.

Carla was looking a little pale. Her eyes were glued to Christian.

"Mom? Are you alright?" Ana asked, sounding concerned.

Her voice might have caught the two men's attention because they both turned to Carla.

"Hon?" Ray quickly held his wife's hand. "You're cold. Carla?"

Christian immediately discerned why the older woman seemed to have seen a ghost. From the pictures he had in his files, he could see his eerie resemblance with his father. And Carla made no exception. She obviously saw Robert in him. "Mrs. Steele, is everything alright?"

:::


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

1982

"Carla! Please talk to me! Let me explain!"

She could hear him from the outside. Robert tried following her when she stormed out of Ella's bedroom but with his lack of clothing, she had a lead start. Carla drove away and returned back home. Minutes later, he was there, standing on their front lawn.

He had been calling her name for hours, pleading for her to see him so he could talk to her. Carla had tried to walk out of her bedroom and see him. A part of her wanted to hear what he was about to say. But whenever she was about to open her door, the image of him with her best friend, naked together, entered her mind and brought her back to tears. She would go back curling on her bed, tears flowing from her already swollen eyes.

She couldn't see him, couldn't let him clear things with her. The pain was unbearable. It was too much for her.

"Carla?"

She was too lost in her sobs that she didn't realize her Aunt Juliet had entered her bedroom and was now sitting on the edge of her bed. Carla felt her aunt's light caress against her hair.

"Robert has been outside for some time now. Do you want me to talk to him?" Juliet softly asked.

Carla choked on her reply. "I-I don't want to see him, Aunt. Tell him to leave and don't come here anymore. We're done."

The older woman slowly stood up. "Alright. Is that what you really want?"

"Y-Yes."

Following her words, Juliet stepped out of the room silently.

Carla hid behind her bedroom window and watched her aunt approached Robert. She saw his shoulders fell upon hearing Juliet, a sob escaped his lips. Tears welling behind his eyes, Robert glanced at her direction. For a moment she held her breath, afraid he might see her.

"I know you can hear me, Carla." He spoke. His voice was raw from crying but it reached her ears clearly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I broke your trust. I broke your heart. I want to explain what happened. But you're not ready and I understand. I'm going now but I'll be back. I won't give up on us. I can't give up on us. I love you. It has been and always will be you. Always and only you."

Carla tumbled down the floor with tears in her eyes.

 _Always me? Only me?_

Where was the truth in those words? If it was always and only her, why was she the one in pain? Why was she the one crying? Why did it feel like a thousand daggers pierced her heart, shredding it to pieces?

:::

"Are you sure?" Startled, Juliet asked her niece.

Juliet was in her bedroom when she heard a knock on her door. Opening it, she let Carla in. Not long after, the younger woman voiced out a decision.

Carla nodded with conviction. "I want to come with you in Montesano." _There's no reason for me to stay here anymore._ She wanted to add.

Juliet studied her niece for a while. She could ask why and Carla would give her all the fake reasons she could think of but deep inside Juliet knew that what happened between her, Robert and Ella was her real motive for wanting to leave the place where she was born and had lived for the past 18 years.

The older woman had been taking care of her niece since she was only 3 years old. Carla's mother, Elaine, was Juliet's only sibling had died together with her husband, Francis, in a drunk driving accident. The family were on their way back home from attending a friend's birthday celebration when a truck hit them head on. The initial investigation reported that the truck driver was under the influence of alcohol while driving. The crash killed the couple instantly and their only child, Carla, who was on the backseat, miraculously survived the accident with only minor injuries.

Juliet, who was also residing in Detroit working as a school librarian when the accident occurred, had taken custody of her niece. She left her apartment and moved to the Wilks residence to take care of Carla.

Years had passed and devoting all her time with her niece, Juliet stayed single. But last year, she met a man named Eric, who was visiting from Montesano. They instantly hit it off and maintained constant communication through letters and telephone calls. They visited each other several times already. During Eric's latest visit 3 months ago, he asked Juliet to marry him and she said yes.

At the age of 45, Juliet was aware that she was not getting any younger and since Carla was already 18 and would be leaving for college soon, she thought Eric's marriage proposal came perfectly in time. She had already resigned from her job and was scheduled to move to Montesano next week. Their wedding was going to be a month from now.

Carla had been supportive of her Aunt's relationship with Eric. The older woman had spent many years taking care of her, did her best to be both the mother and father for her. She was grateful that Juliet found Eric. Carla could see how the two loved each other, they were perfect together. That was why she wasn't surprised when Eric proposed and Juliet agreed. Carla was happy for them and wished them the best.

She was aware with Juliet getting married would mean her aunt moving to Montesano. Carla was alright with that change, understanding that after the older woman had prioritized her niece's welfare for years, it was about time to let her aunt finally think about herself. Besides, Carla had already made plans with both Robert and Ella.

She was alright to be left alone in her parents' house to finish her senior year but if Juliet wasn't comfortable with the idea, the Dawson's were fine to let her stay with them until she moved for college. She was planning to apply at Wayne State University together with her boyfriend, Robert, while Ella, her best friend, would be in New York to study acting.

But that was before everything went to hell when she caught the two on Ella's bed three days ago. Seeing them in an indecent position devastated her. Her heart was broken not only by the man she loved but also by the woman who had been like a sister to her. The betrayal destroyed everything she believed in. It left her with nothing to look forward to, nothing to make her stay a day longer in the small town she was in.

She and Ella were both born in a small town in Detroit. They met in school and instantly had been best of friends. They were both 6 years old then. Carla was treated like a daughter by Ella's parents and her best friend was almost a niece to her Aunt Juliet. Together, they dreamt of their futures. Carla was going to be a teacher like her mother and Ella was going to be an actress. They made a pact that no matter where their dreams brought them, their friendship would remain. But like almost all promises, theirs was meant to be broken.

It was never in Carla's wildest dream that she would find herself deceived by two of the people she loved and trusted the most. Growing up without parents, she had learned to value the importance of the people in her life even at a young age, discerning they could be taken away from her in an instant. So her relationships with both Robert and Ella, although different, had always belonged to her priorities and were included in all her decisions. With them being gone, Carla didn't know what to do next. Suddenly, she felt lost and alone.

"It will bring me peace of mind if you're moving in Montesano with me and I know Eric will agree. He already loves you like a daughter." Juliet uttered. "You can transfer and continue your study there. Washington has great colleges and universities for you to choose from when you graduate. But I want you to think it over. Take time, Carla. Whatever decision you'll make, I'll support you, whether you want to stay here or come with me. It's all up to you."

:::

One week later, Carla was in her almost empty room finishing packing her clothes. It had been 10 days since she caught her boyfriend cheating on her with her best friend, 7 days since Juliet told her to think over her decision to move to Montesano with her, 6 days since she convinced her aunt that her decision to leave their town and come with her was final. The decision wasn't hard to make because she needed it. Carla needed a fresh start and she believed Montesano would give it to her.

True to her words, Juliet supported her and helped her make the arrangements for her school transfer. Carla didn't attend her classes again, taking a leave of absence. She told no one about her leaving and didn't care if they found out about it too late.

For the past 10 days, Robert stood outside her front door, still begging for her forgiveness. But she never saw him, did not once talked to him. She couldn't. Though it still brought her to tears whenever she remembered him, Carla couldn't get past what happened. Their once pleasant memories were now shadowed by his deceit.

It made her smile bitterly, mulling over how life could change in just one mistake. Maybe it wasn't a mistake. Maybe it was. Carla didn't really know. She never bothered hearing the truth from Robert. Not that it would matter anyway. Whether what was done was intentional or not was no longer important to her.

A presence in the doorway caught her sight. For a second, Carla collected herself. She stopped folding her dress and turned.

"What are you doing here?" She asked Ella, who was looking at her sorrowfully. Tears welling behind her best friend's brown eyes.

Ella's gaze darted between her and the boxes full of her things. "I-I heard from school. A classmate of ours overheard Aunt Juliet talking to the principal. Is it true? Are you leaving?"

Carla only gave a curt nod. Today was the only time she had seen her after she caught her with Robert. Unlike him, Ella never called nor tried to see her and explain what happened. Her best friend never made an effort to apologize or mend things with her.

Silence filled the small room. Ella was still standing in the doorway with her head bowed down. Carla had her arms crossed against her chest in a defensive stance, her eyes glued to her best friend.

"I love him." Ella looked up and said after a while. She didn't need to name the person she was talking about, Carla knew exactly who he was. "Remember the first time we saw him enter the classroom? We're all freshmen students that time. While almost everyone in class knew each other, nobody knew him. He is introduced by Mr. Guiltard as Robert Henders who just moved from Boston. I instantly had a crush on him. He's handsome and seems nice. I didn't tell you about it and hid it to myself."

Ella's confession came as a shock to her. Carla never noticed her best friend's crush on the then-newcomer.

"You didn't know. You have no idea that my crush for him grew as days passed by and it became more than just an attraction. More than his good looks, I thought he is humble and kind. The first time he approached me was halfway through that school year when you got a flu and has been absent for almost a week."

Carla remembered that day clearly. Despite her being sick, it had become one of her unforgettable days.

"Imagine how excited I got when he came to my seat? My heart was beating so fast that time. I felt like I was about to faint. He finally noticed me, Carla. I even wished you were there to witness. I knew you'd be happy for me. I expected him to ask me out, on a dinner or movie maybe. But it didn't happen." She laughed bitterly. "He sat on an empty seat beside me and asked if you're alright. He has not been seeing you for days and he's starting to get worried."

That was day Carla found out Robert's crush on her.

"If you had just seen the concern in his grey eyes. If you just heard the care in his voice, Carla. You'd understand how broken-hearted I was." Ella hastily wiped away the tears that escaped from her eyes. "But like a best friend I was, I answered him honestly. Told him you're sick. He asked for your telephone number, I gave it to him."

Yes, while nursing her flu, Carla received a surprising phone call from Robert, asking her how she was and hoped for her to get well soon. He told her he got her number from Ella. That night, they talked for hours. Robert confessed that he liked her and asked her if they could go out once she was well. Initially hesitant, she agreed.

"I didn't know." Carla whispered.

"No, you didn't." Ella shook her head. "You didn't know how I cried after you told me you're going out with him. You didn't know how hard it was for me to be happy and congratulate you when you gave me the news that you and Robert are now boyfriend and girlfriend after three dates. You didn't know the feeling of loving someone who loves someone else. You didn't know any of it, Carla."

"Is that why you took him away from me? Did you plan everything?" _Please answer no. Please Ella._ Carla started crying. The emotion she was trying to control broke out. The possibility that everything could be Ella's doing pained her even more.

"Yes!" Ella yelled. "Yes, I knew you'd be at my house that morning. Days before, you spilled your surprise unknowingly. I took the chance to finally have him for myself. I knew he'd be at Jill's party the night before. I came and had drinks with him. Robert, the gentleman, escorted me back at my place. He didn't know that I'm not really drunk. He even went with me in my bedroom. I kissed him, Carla. He looked horrified at first but he was drunk and horny. Yes, if our nakedness didn't give you a clue, I'm telling you now. We had sex. And I woke up just before you arrived and unlocked my bedroom door. I acted asleep and waited until you came. I did it all. I planned it all." Ella was gasping for breath when she finished.

Carla felt like a giant hand went inside her chest and crushed her heart. She looked at her friend and realized, Ella was as heartbroken as she was. Carla could see regret and desparation behind her best friend's façade. "Ella,"

"You want to know why I chose to destroy what we have? Because I'm tired of you having it all! I'm tired of being second to you. Everybody loves you, the sweet and angelic Carla. Everybody likes you. Even my parents! My very own parents prefer you. They don't want an actress daughter. They want you. You didn't hear them talking about it all the time. How good of a niece you are to Aunt Juliet. How you are making your dead parents proud with all your achievements. I try to be alright with all of that. Why? Because I know someday I'll have someone who'll prefer me over you, someone who'll choose me and not you."

Ella paused to take few deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. "I know it's Robert. The first time I saw him I know it's going to be him. Finally, there's a person who'll want all of me. He'll love me and our child. I know he'll do."

Carla felt her world had stopped. _Child?_

"I'm pregnant." Ella spoke softly, her hand flew to her belly. "Robert and I are having a baby. We'll get married and bring this child to the world. We'll be a family. I thought I should let you know before you leave."

Seeing her best friend in a dreamlike state, Carla felt the need to let her know what she seemed to be missing. "Robert loves me, Ella. Not you. We've been together for almost three years. His feelings for me won't just disappear overnight."

"I know that." Ella suddenly looked defeated. "That's why I'm here. Because I know he'll come back to you and I can't do anything about it. But you can. You can say no to him. You can let him go. For my child, Carla." Taking steps towards Carla, Ella reached for her best friend's hands. "Don't let my child grow up without a father. Give him a chance to have a complete family." She pleaded desperately. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for deceiving you, for breaking your trust and destroying our friendship. But I can't lose Robert. I can't. I need him in my life. My child needs him. Don't take him away from me. Please. Do you want me to beg? I'll beg."

She moved to kneel but Carla was quick to stop her.

"Stop it, Ella. Don't. Stop it." Crying, Carla wrapped her arms around her.

Ella broke down in Carla's embrace. "I'll be a good wife to him, I promise you. I'll take care of him. I won't hurt him. He'll be happy with me. Just... Just let me have him. I can't live without him. I-I can't."

:::

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. It was simple yet elegant. Everyone could see how deeply in love the newlyweds were. Carla clapped her hands when the groom snaked his arm around his bride's waist and planted a kiss on her lips. She was happy for her Aunt Juliet and Uncle Eric. The officiating minister declared the two as husband and wife. Applause and congratulations were heard inside the chapel.

Sneakily, she stepped out of the room and went to the side where an old tree was planted. She looked up at the blue sky and took a deep breath. She would be happy again, she knew it.

It had been three weeks since she left Detroit and all the painful memories she had and the people who had been part of her life. Carla was grateful she was given a fresh start. She continued her senior year at the high school near her new home and had started going in her class immediately. She had already met a few friends, to the delight of her Aunt Juliet. The older woman was afraid she would become wary of people after what happened. But Carla had no intention of succumbing to sadness. It helped that she was in a new place and the people around her were strangers.

"Carla,"

A familiar voice spoke from behind her. Carla whirled around and was greeted with a pair of grey eyes.

"Robert?"

He smiled hesitantly and stepped closer to her. "Hi."

"W-What are you doing here?" She asked in shock. Montesano was a long travel from Detroit.

"I came to see you."

Carla shook her head. "You can't be here, Robert. Go back to Detroit." _Go back to Ella._

"I don't love her. I will never love her. You know that."

"Robert please," Carla felt tears burning behind her eyes.

She missed him. After everything that happened, she still loved him. But with the circumstances they were in, it was impossible for her to tell him those words again. So much had happened. Hearts were broken. Tears were shed. Futures were changed. Lives were altered.

"Tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll go. You'll never see me again I promise you." He reached for her hands and held it tightly. "Because if there's even a slight chance that we can go back to how we were before, I'll take it, Carla. I can't live without you. I tried but it's impossible. I know my mistakes and I'm willing to pay for it. Even if it takes me a lifetime, I'll prove to you how much I regret hurting you."

She tried to remove her hands from his grasp but he only tightened his hold. "Stop it, Robert. What we have, it's gone now. Don't make it harder for both of us. You're having a child with E-Ella. She needs you. Your child needs you. Be with them."

He shook his head. "I can't. It's you who I want. I can't marry her. Don't make me, please. If there's one woman who deserves my love, my vow, my everything, it's you Carla. Marry me. Let's get married."

 _It's now or never._ She told herself.

Gathering every will she had, she spoke firmly. "I don't love you anymore. I can't love you anymore after what you did. You broke my heart. You broke my trust. You destroyed my friendship with my best friend. You slept with her. And now she's carrying your child yet you're refusing to marry her. I can't love a man like you. I was wrong to fall in love with you in the first place."

"Don't say that."

"You told me if I said those words you'll leave. What are you waiting for?"

Robert looked into her eyes and Carla knew what he was trying to do. Ever since, he could always see right through her. She straightened her stance and met his gaze. She couldn't back out now.

What seemed like a lifetime was only a few seconds when Carla felt him gently letting her hands go.

Robert carefully wrapped his arms around her, enclosing her in a tight embrace, and she started weeping.

 _This is it._ Carla knew this was it. The end. The closure.

With tears in his own eyes, he whispered onto her hair. "I never imagined I'm going to say goodbye to you. I never thought I could hurt you so much that you wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I'm sorry. When you agreed to be my girlfriend, I promised myself that the only tears that will flow from your eyes are tears of joy. I broke that promise. I caused you pain and I'm very sorry."

Without reluctance, she hugged him back. As tightly as she could, she embraced him. With all her love for him, she let herself feel him against her.

She wanted to say how she also never thought that they would end. They were young but with their love for each other, Carla believed they would surpass whatever life would throw their way. Had she spoken too soon?

Robert went on. "I don't believe any of the words you just said. I know you're lying. But I'll go and won't come back. Remember how much I love you, Carla. Always and only you."

Carla closed her eyes and reveled on the feeling of his lips against her forehead, aware that it was the last time she would feel his kiss.

Slowly, he pulled away from her. With slumped shoulders, Robert turned and began walking away. He never looked back.

Sobbing, Carla watched him disappear from her sight. Her hand went automatically to her stomach, to her unnoticeable pregnant belly.

Robert didn't know. She didn't tell him. He left without knowing that like Ella, she, too, was carrying his child.

He was right, she lied. She still loved him. She still could love him. After everything he did, she could still love a man like him. And falling in love with him had always been right.

:::


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Mom?"

Ana's worried gaze turned to her father, who was staring at her pale wife with the same concerned look.

"Hon?"

Broken from her trance, Carla blinked several times. She casted one last look at Christian before turning to her husband. "I-I'm sorry."

"Are you alright?" Ana asked her mother. The uneasiness in her eyes never left. That was the first time she had seen Carla like that.

Carla smiled. It was small but it eased Ana's apprehension. "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Ray questioned. His love for her was showing as he held her carefully on her upper arm.

"I am. It's the weather I guess."

"I think it's because you hurried your way here. I already texted you it's okay if you can't make it on time." Ana tried to theorize the reason for her mother's pasty appearance.

Her parents came in late. The ceremony was almost at the end when they entered the auditorium. Ana was seating on her assigned seat busy staring at Christian when she received a message from her mother informing her that they were currently stuck on the road and were waiting for her father to fix their car's flat tire. She texted Carla back and told her not to worry, she was glad they were safe and would be fine if they didn't make it on the ceremony.

"And missed your graduation? We didn't think so." Her father retorted, an affectionate smile on his lips.

Ana noticed her mother's sideways glances at Christian and remembered how their introduction was interrupted. She immediately introduced them again. "Mom, this is my boyfriend, Christian Grey. Christian, meet my mother, Carla.

Christian offered his hand to the older woman who gripped it shakily. Carla's palm was cold, he took note. "Mrs. Steele, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"I-It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Grey."

Carla's voice was as shaky as her hand, he also noticed.

"Please call me Christian."

The older woman nodded but didn't speak. Her face was no longer as ghostly as moments ago but it still was not as healthy looking as before she saw Christian either.

"You are Christian Grey, today's Guest Speaker?!" Ray blurted out all of a sudden. Disbelief was written all over his face. He opened the invitation card in his hand that had Christian's name printed on it as the Guest Speaker.

"I am." Christian confirmed.

"My parents didn't hear your speech. They came in late." Ana explained to him her father's apparent shock.

"How did you two meet?" The older man asked.

"Accidentally. We bumped into each other outside a coffeehouse." Christian replied, smiling at Ana.

"Accidentally?" Curious, Carla questioned. Her gaze was on the younger man who looked almost exactly like the very first man she fell in love with but tragically lost.

Christian Grey's eyes were exactly like _him_ , intense and bright greys. His hair was the same as _his_ , dark reddish brown. But his smile was different. It seemed familiar but Carla couldn't make out where she had seen it before.

Christian nodded. "Yes. I was in the area for business and stopped by for a cup of coffee when Ana and I collided into each other."

"You're not from here?" It was Ray again.

"No, I'm from Seattle."

Hiding her awkwardness, Ana watched as her parents bombarded Christian with questions after questions. She had already warned him about Ray's and Carla's overprotectiveness, telling him to expect their 'interrogation', but he was adamant that he would be alright. The two were the best parents she could ask for but Ana sometimes felt like they were trying to shelter her a little bit too much. If it weren't for Kate, she didn't think she would be able to live outside of their hometown.

Speaking of her best friend, Ana spotted the blonde woman sauntering over to them with her own parents in tow. Both of their parents had already been good friends over the years because of them. The two older couples immediately exchanged greetings and congratulations.

Kate hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"I can't believe we did it!" Her best friend squealed, eyes gleaming with joy.

"Me too." Ana answered grinning.

Kate turned to Christian and greeted him politely. "Mr. Grey."

"Miss Kavanagh." He responded back.

It was then that Ana realized that the two had not been properly introduced yet, recalling when Christian came for her at the bar a week ago, Kate was busy on the dance floor.

"Christian this is Kate, my best friend and roommate. Kate, you already know Christian, my boyfriend. You can call each other by first names, you know." She spoke lightly.

"Christian." Kate uttered with a smile. "I'd like to personally thank you for the interview."

"You're welcome, Kate."

"Mr. Grey," Kate's father, Eamon Kavanagh, greeted the younger man, recognition on his face.

Unlike Ana's family, the Kavanagh's was one of the few rich people in their town. And as a businessman himself, although not as successful as Christian, Eamon easily identified who the younger man was.

"Mr. Kavanagh." Christian acknowledged the businessman, having met him before through an acquaintance.

They shook hands. Eamon introduced his wife, Pia, to Christian, who also greeted her the same way.

"I love your speech, Mr. Grey. It was very heartfelt." Pia spoke appreciatively.

"Thank you, Mrs. Kavanagh."

"Boyfriend, huh?" With one eyebrow raised and teasing smile, Kate murmured as the two of them watched the elders and Christian chat.

It was as seemed her tight schedule last week made her forget to share the latest on her love life with Kate. With the final exams she had to go through and her travel to Seattle plus whatever spare time she had left was spent with Christian, Ana never had a chance to disclose to her best friend that he was now her boyfriend.

Wide-eyes, she apologized to Kate. "I'm sorry. I really am. I must have overlooked. I've been busy with th-"

Kate cut her with a chuckle. "There's no need for apologies, I understand. I'm happy for you, Ana."

"Thank you. I'm happy too."

:::

"C-Christian?" From the brand new red Audi A3, she turned her sight to Christian, questions in her blue eyes.

After dining out with her parents to celebrate her graduation, she and Christian went back to her apartment while Ray and Carla returned to Montesano. As soon as they were settled, Ana took out a bottle of champagne from inside the fridge. She bought the sparkling white wine for tonight, wanting the celebratory drink to commemorate her achievement. Excitedly, she filled two plastic cups of the alcohol. Handing one cup to her amused boyfriend, Ana explained that since she was due to move tomorrow, almost all of the things in the house were already packed and all she found inside the kitchen cabinet were the red plastic cups.

While drinking, she voiced out how excited she was with her upcoming move to Seattle but would definitely miss the place where she resided for the past four years. Ana also added that she was little saddened because Kate couldn't be there tonight. Her best friend was already on her way to Europe with the rest of her family, a gift Eamon and Pia prepared for their oldest child. Kate would see her in their new apartment after the Kavanagh's 7-day tour of the Old Continent.

The sound of Christian's cellphone message alert broke off their talking. He read it and turned to her, saying he had a surprise for her. With her hand in his, he led her outside. He was silent as Ana roamed her eyes around the street, wondering what gift could it be. Seconds later, a red hatchback pulled over in front of them and Taylor climbed out. He handed the car keys to Christian and left.

Smiling, Christian held out the keys to her. "Happy graduation, Ana."

"What-?"

When she didn't took his offering, he gently grabbed her hand and placed it in her palm. "My graduation gift for you."

Ana shook her head instantly. She tried to hand the key back on him but Christian would not accept. "No. You can't give me a car, Christian."

The books he gifted her not long ago was already expensive for her taste. The car was just too much.

"Why not?" His brows furrowed, surprised she didn't want his gift. "I don't see anything wrong with it. It's your graduation day, Ana. You deserve it."

"Are you serious?! It's too much. I can't."

Christian cupped her cheeks with both hands and pecked her lips. "There's nothing too much when it comes to you."

:::

"My new apartment has only two slots for parking. With Kate's car and Wanda, there's no space for an additional one and there's no way I'm going to give up Wanda." Ana told him, resolve could be heard in her voice.

They were already back inside the house but was still discussing about his gift. Or at least she was trying to discuss with him his gift. From the way Christian was lounging casually on the couch, sipping champagne, the topic about her new car was already finished.

Ana was adamant in keeping her old car. Wanda, as she fondly called her old light blue VW Beetle, was her very first vehicle. It was bought for her by her parents after successfully passing her driving exam. She brought it with her in college, to the chagrin of Kate. Ana had to admit, Wanda was old, very old in fact, but its sentimental value to her was priceless. Giving her car up was next to impossible.

Christian sighed and stared at the woman pacing in front of him. "Do you know the reason I bought that car for you?"

"Because you wanted to give me something expensive?" She guessed.

Smirking, he put his drink on the center table and pulled himself up. Christian walked towards her and stopped her pacing by putting his fingers on her chin. Tilting her head up, he locked his gaze on hers. "Because it's the safest car on the market, Anastasia. I could buy you a much more expensive sports car if I want to but I didn't. Your safety is my primary concern. We both know Wanda is no longer reliable. How many times has it failed you the past year?"

He recalled the many times Sawyer reported to him that Ana had to take a cab or hitch a ride with Kate because her car would not start or it broke down while on the road. Christian would not allow that to happen again, especially now when she had become so much more for him than how he first planned.

He had means and he was going to use it. So he thought of buying a new car and bid time until there was an opportunity to purchase it for her. Ana's commencement came and the chance he was waiting for finally arrived.

When she didn't answer, Christian continued. "You mentioned you'll be going to an interview tomorrow. What if while you're on your way, Wanda breaks down? Be realistic and practical, Ana. You need my gift."

"I don't want you giving me things, Christian. Let me pay for it. Honestly, I can only make staggered payments. It's the most I can do given my current situation. What do you think?"

Seeing her serious face, Christian had to stifle his laughter. He still couldn't believe Ana's stubborn determination to make it on her own as much as possible. She only had so much in her bank account, just got her degree and was presently unemployed yet her pride would not let her accept any help, not even from her parents.

While having dinner with Ana and her parents, Christian left the table to take a call from Ros. From outside, he couldn't help but watched the Wilks through the glass window of the restaurant. From what information he had collected of them, they were a simple family. Ray and Carla were high school teachers who had been working almost all their lives to give their daughter the most comfortable life they could provide. They didn't have much and were still paying for the house they were living in. They rarely traveled and what extra money they saved was put on Ana's college fund. Their love for their only child was very obvious from the way they tried to shelter her from hardships.

Still talking to his second, he saw Ray handed Ana an envelope, who immediately shook her head no. Christian assumed it was their graduation gift for their daughter, a check was a big possibility. Ana would need funds to start her life in Seattle and Ray and Carla were aware of it. Several times of pushing her the gift, Ana accepted the envelope with great reluctance and teary-eyed, she hugged and kissed her parents on their cheeks.

Seeing her now reminded Christian of the scene he witnessed and felt respect for her. Headstrong as she was, he liked her for it. She was different from the women he had met. Her uniqueness made him like her more.

His hands came down on her waist and settled over her back, wrapping her in him. He pressed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. "I think you're quite exceptional, Anastasia. Alright, if you want to pay for it, then pay for it."

Ana's face lit up but turned crestfallen a second after. "I can't sell Wanda."

"Who said you need to sell it? Wanda can stay at Escala. I have a spot for your car there."

She beamed. "Really?!"

Christian nodded. The happiness radiating off of her because of him made his heart swell with proud. Suddenly, making Ana smile with delight was a purpose he would not tire doing.

Ana put her hands over his shoulders and kissed him on his lips. "Thank you."

:::

She roamed her eyes around the small but cozy two-bedroom apartment she would be sharing with Kate. They were on the third floor of the building just outside the central business district of Seattle. The location was good enough with the budget they both have. With her new car, Ana had already drove herself to and from where her future workplace could be and timed the distance. It took her almost 15 minutes, traffic and unexpected occurrences not included. Not bad.

The move had ran softly and without glitches with Christian overlooking things. A truck brought her and Kate's things, furnitures and appliances from Vancouver to Seattle while she drove with Christian sitting on the passenger seat. Last night, Taylor had already taken Wanda from her and parked it at Escala. Ana was relieved when Christian said there was no reason to give up her car and offered a space where it could stay.

"Tired?"

Sitting next to each other on the couch, Ana felt Christian's arms draped around her shoulder. She nestled her head against his neck and closed her eyes. For some unknown reason, his presence never failed to make her relaxed. "A little bit." She murmured.

Christian pressed his lips against her forehead. Today had been a long and tiring day for them but after seeing everything was settled now, he felt he could finally breathe.

Ana was finally in Seattle. She was now closer to him than ever. He didn't mind the almost 3-hour drive he had to endure to see her back in Vancouver. Christian was sure no matter where she was, he would come to her. But with his girlfriend living only a few minutes away from him, things were going to be a lot easier now.

Christian Grey with a girlfriend? Who would have thought? Definitely not him. Relationships and him did not mix, that was he knew all along. But he spoke too soon apparently. Gazing at Ana, Christian was glad he couldn't be more wrong.

:::

Ana woke up from the sound of her alarm. Tired from yesterday's activities, she was glad she did not forget to set her clock.

She had an interview at SIP that morning at 9. Seattle Independent Publishing was a publishing house located at the Seattle's business district. Last week, Ana sent an application letter together with her resume. She was applying as a Personal Assistant to a Commissioning Editor. If she was hired, it would be good opportunity for her to expose herself to different books and writings. Ana was positive she was going to learn a lot from her position if ever they employed her. Three days ago, she got a call inviting her for an interview.

She looked around her bedroom and paused. From what she remembered, she was sitting on the couch with Christian and closed her eyes. Had she fallen asleep unknowingly? Where was Christian? Did he leave?

A crashing sound from outside pulled her attention. Ana stepped out of her room and immediately spotted Christian, already in his usual expensive suit, bent down and picking up pieces of a broken coffee mug.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" She asked, quickly scanning him for a wound. When she didn't found any, she took out the broom and dustpan from the closet and began sweeping the small pieces while Christian threw out the larger ones in the bin.

"Shattered glass means good luck right? I think good things will be coming our way."

"The mug was ceramic, Christian."

He shrugged. "Details."

After cleaning and putting the things back to their original place, Ana sighted toasts, pancakes and fruit slices on the counter. There were also coffee and juice sitting on the side.

"You prepared these?"

Kissing her, he answered. "Yes. Why don't you take a shower so we can eat?"

:::

Minutes later, Ana was dressed for her interview and was sharing breakfast with her boyfriend.

"You'll do well, don't worry." Christian uttered, noticing her fidgeting.

"Thanks but it's actually not about that..."

He stared at Ana and sensed her hesitation. "What is it?"

"Last night...last thing I remember is we're sitting together but when I woke up, I was in my room. Did you bring me there? Did you sleep..." She knew she was blushing, she could feel the heat on her cheeks. Ana was confident nothing happened between them but she wanted to know what she missed while asleep. Did he sleep beside her?

"I like it when you blush." He commented, smiling at her. "You fell asleep and I picked you up and brought you to bed. I don't want to leave you alone so I slept on the couch. When I woke up, I called Taylor to deliver my change of clothes. I made breakfast and was about to put the mugs on the table but it crashed on the floor. That's when you saw me."

"Thank you for taking care of me. I'm glad you're here. I want you to know that I trust you."

Christian's smile faded.

 _She trusts him?_

How could she say those words so easily? As if it was natural for her to trust someone she barely knew. He got angry.

Ana caught the clenching of his jaw and got worried. "Did I say something wrong?"

He stood up. "No. I remember I have an appointment. I'll call you alright? Good luck on your interview."

Not waiting for her reply, Christian walked out of the apartment, leaving a dumbfounded Ana.

:::


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

He didn't call. It had been five days and Ana had not received a single call from him. After Christian left her place last Monday, she had not seen him nor heard from him and she was worried.

She was sure he was angry at her. But why? What could she possibly had done to warrant his displeasure? Tried as she might, Ana couldn't remember anything she did or said that disappointed him.

Clicking the TV remote off, she released a sigh. She wanted to rest but couldn't. After leaving work at 6, Ana went grocery shopping. Kate would be returning tomorrow from her one week vacation and Ana wanted to fill their cabinets and refrigerator with food.

Yes, she was working now. As of last Tuesday, she had started her new job at SIP. She was now Anastasia Steele, Personal Assistant to Jack Hyde. Her interview went well. She did good just like Christian predicted.

 _Christian._

As soon as she exited SIP building after being told she was hired and to come back the next day to start, she tried calling him to tell him the great news but her call went unanswered and straight to voicemail. After more than a dozen of missed calls later, a strange feeling started churning at the pit of her stomach. It made her uneasy and restless.

She wanted to see him. These past days, she tried stopping by outside his headquarter and made several attempts to enter Escala but she didn't have the guts to went on. She was afraid to be told he no longer wanted to see her. Ana wasn't sure if he was even at the country at the moment. Maybe he was abroad. Maybe he was in another state. Maybe he lost his phone. Her head ached pondering over all the maybes.

Her cellphone started ringing. Startled at the sound, Ana fumbled to answer it, hoping it was him. Her shoulders fell without her realizing, seeing the name flashing in the screen. Dismissing her disappointment, she answered the call.

 _"Hi Ana!"_

"Hello Jose."

It had been a while since she had last seen him. As far as she knew, her photographer friend was in Portland working on his photo exhibit scheduled a week from now.

 _"Are you busy?"_

She looked around the apartment and another sigh was let out. Busy was not the word to describe her at the moment. Lonely, alone, missing her boyfriend. Those words suited her best.

"No. I'm not."

 _"I'm in Seattle right now at a bar called Quarry's. Do you want to join me?"_

:::

"Ana! Over here!"

She smiled when she saw Jose waving his eager hand at her. It didn't take long for her to accept his invitation. Ana was in her place alone on a Friday night, mulling over her missing boyfriend. A glass of beer or two would help her get rid of Christian from her mind, if only for a while, she assumed. So after changing her clothes into something more appropriate for a bar, she hailed a cab and told the driver to bring her to Quarry's.

Minutes later, she entered a small yet crowded space looking for Jose.

"I'm glad you came." Her friend uttered as he greeted her.

"I'm surprised you're here. I thought you're in Portland." She sat on a stool next to him.

"I was but came here this morning and met with some people. There are some proposals for another exhibit to be held right here in Seattle. Hopefully, everything will turn out alright." He explained.

Sincere smile broke out on her face. "It will. You are a great photographer, Jose. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. You always believe in me. Oh, let me order you a drink. Beer?"

"Yes but let me. My treat. I have a job." She winked and stood up to buy them drinks before he could stop her.

She returned with two glasses of beer in hands minutes later and gave one to Jose, who promised the next round was his. Together, they raised their glasses up and made a toast.

"To your new job, which you need to tell me all about later. Congratulations, Ana." Jose spoke.

"To your upcoming exhibits. I'm really excited for it. Congratulations, Jose." She said.

Their glasses clinked and grinning at each other, they took a gulp at the same time.

"You're working now?" He asked after a while.

"Yes. Since last Tuesday. Meet Anastasia Steele, Personal Assistant to a Commissioning Editor at SIP." She answered proudly, chuckling all the while.

It was nice to laugh, she thought. The words she told Jose were the words she wanted to tell Christian. The moment she was hired, he was the first person she wanted to speak to of her new job. She wanted to celebrate with him. Ana knew it would be impossible because he would not let her but she could try and treat him for a dinner. She imagined him smiling at her and congratulating her.

"Hey Ana!"

She looked at Jose, whose voice broke her out of reverie, and apologized. "I'm sorry."

"Are you alright? Where have you been? I think I lost you for a while."

"I'm fine. What were you saying again?"

He cleared his throat and stared at her. His smiling face turned serious. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you. It's something I've been feeling for a while. We've been friends for years and I treasure what we have. But I want... I want to be more than just your friend, Ana."

"J-Jose,"

He took her hand and held it gingerly. "I'm in love with you. Have been since the first time I saw you. I don't want to risk losing you as a friend so I didn't tell you anything but I don't want to hide my feelings for you anymore. I love you."

Uncomfortable at what he was saying, Ana slowly pulled her hand back. "I'm sorry. I-I don't feel about you the same way." Hurting Jose was the last thing she wanted to do but she could not let him hope that they could be more than just friends. She was with Christian now and even if she wasn't, she wasn't interested with Jose like that. "I'm with Christian. We've been dating for weeks."

"Christian Grey. Do you like him?"

Sure about her feelings, she nodded.

"Are you in love with him?"

"Honestly, it's too early for me to say. But I've never felt like this before. It's something new to me but I'm looking forward to seeing where it can lead us."

"Does he like you? Does he make you happy? Treats you well?"

"I believe he likes me. He makes me happy and treats me best." She answered softly. Despite Christian's sometimes unexplainable emotions, Ana was certain he likes her. He said so himself.

"How about love? Do you think he can love you?"

"Only he can answer that. I'm sorry, Jose. I don't mean to hurt you but I can only offer you my friendship."

It broke her heart to see her words devastated Jose. He looked so sad and heartbroken.

Forcing a smile on his lips, he finished his drink and roused. "I-I'm gonna go and buy us another round."

Ana watched him walked over to the bar with a gloomy face. She didn't want to lose him but she couldn't give him what he desired.

:::

"Don't worry about it. It hurts, to be honest. But I'll be fine." He assured her, trying to put on a smile but was failing miserably.

They exited the bar and were now on the street, trying to hail a taxi. The cold chilly air welcomed them as soon as they stepped out. The night did not turn as Ana had hoped. She joined her friend in an attempt to forget Christian for a few hours. But with Jose admitting his feelings for her, she remembered her very own feelings for her boyfriend and made her miss him more. Add her discomfort for causing her friend pain, Ana was feeling terrible.

"I'm sorry again."

"Don't be." Jose shook his head. "I can't force you to feel something for me. I love you too much to do that."

Grateful that he understood, she hugged him. "Thank you."

Wrapping his arms around her, he mumbled. "Be happy, Ana. I only wish you happiness."

They stayed in that position for a minute before she noticed a lone figure standing across the street, a familiar SUV behind him. It was dark from where the man was standing but she didn't need light to know it was him. The weight of his eyes on her was enough to let her recognize who he was. His stare had always made her feel like there were butterflies in her stomach.

"Ana? Let's go."

A taxi was already in their front and Jose was holding the door open for her to climb in. Ana was supposed to share a ride with him.

"You go ahead. C-Christian's here."

Jose followed her gaze, spotted a man in a suit staring at her from the other side of the road and frowned when he couldn't make sure if the man was really Christian.

"That's him." Ana confirmed with certainty. "Go ahead, Jose. I'll see you in Portland in a week."

Still doubtful, he acquiesced. "Okay. See you soon. You can bring him if you want. Kate will be there too."

After bidding goodbye to him, Ana watched him boarded the cab and she started crossing the street. Every step she took that brought her closer to Christian made her heart beat faster. She tried squinting, wanting to see his face clearly. She missed him.

"C-Christian,"

"Anastasia."

He sounded different. It was only when she reached him, she noticed his messy appearance. His face looked flushed and his eyes were red and watery. "Are you alright?"

"I am. Let me take you home."

When he put his hand on her back to guide her inside the backseat of his SUV, Ana jolted, immediately feeling the warmth of his hand. "You're sick."

As if on cue, Christian coughed. "I'm fine."

Taking a seat at the backseat, Ana watched him as he sat next to her. "Taylor," She called the older man sitting behind the wheel, who turned the engine on and started driving away.

"Good evening, Miss Steele." He greeted her.

"Good evening too. Can you tell me how long has Mr. Grey been sick?"

Ana watched as he hesitantly glanced at his boss who just rolled his eyes and coughed a little more.

"Since Wednesday, Miss Steele." Taylor replied.

She turned to her boyfriend. "You've-" Ana halted, her words were suddenly forgotten as she stared at his already sleeping form.

Christian's head was lolled to the side and he was breathing evenly.

"Has he been taking medicines?" She asked Taylor in a low voice. Ana gently moved the hair that fell in front of his face.

"I want to think he is but I have my doubts. My wife, Gail, has been taking care of his medicines and meals but she told me Mr. Grey has only been eating a few and she isn't sure if he's really drinking his medicines."

"He's stubborn."

"Yes, he is." Taylor agreed.

:::

1988

He entered their home in tears.

His mother saw him and immediately went to him. Kneeling in front of him so they could see each other eye to eye, Ella gently wiped her son's tears away with her soft fingers.

Picking him up, Christian clung to his mother and cried.

Ella brought them in his bedroom and sat on the rocking chair at the corner, settling him on her lap.

Once more, Christian felt her brushed his tears away.

"Did they say those things again?" She asked quietly.

"Y-Yes and they said more."

"Don't mind them. They do not know everything."

At the age of 5, Christian had heard rumors surrounding him and his mother. With his limited vocabulary, he could not understand some words the nosy people spoke. But whatever those words meant, they pained Ella when he first mentioned them to her a year ago.

Christian could still clearly remember how his mother broke down in tears when he innocently told her that the adults in the playground, the ones who were looking after his playmates, called her a 'whore' and a 'traitor'.

Seeing her weeping troubled him. Christian didn't like how heartbroken she looked, how her tears seemed endless. He could still easily picture the way Ella looked when she turned to him. Her eyes were already puffy, her cheeks and nose were red and her voice was hoarse. She cupped his cheeks and stared at him. Her sad brown eyes were locked onto his innocent greys.

 _"That's not true. Those words are lies, Christian. Don't believe any of them. Only believe your mama, okay?"_

Hearing the plea in her words, Christian nodded in agreement and started to hate those people who called her with lies.

 _Why do they want to hurt his mother?_ His 4 year old young mind asked.

But the slander did not stop. It got worst. Just today, one of his classmates from daycare teased him about his father, saying he did not love him and his mother so he left. He pushed his classmate on the ground in retaliation and ran back home, tears streaking down his face.

Christian never met his father, Robert, who died before he was even born. He did not know the feeling of calling him dad or daddy, like the way other boys his age called their father. He had no idea if he would enjoy playing catching and throwing ball with him. He wondered if he would teach him how to ride a bicycle or use roller skates. But Ella assured him that his father would love to do all those things with him. And if it weren't for the woman who wanted him by herself, Robert would be there with them right now.

He tried to remember his mother's words but what his classmate said hurt him.

"Johnny said my dad didn't love us. He didn't love you, mom. He loved someone else. That's why he preferred to die instead of living with us."

Ella shook her head and screamed. "No!"

Stunned at her sudden outburst, Christian could only stare at his mother. He had never seen her mad over something. Not for once he heard her raised her voice. Ella always spoke softly. Most of the times she was sad but she was never angry.

Heedlessly, she put him down and started pacing around his room.

"Your father loved me! Only me!" She yelled, fingers raking her hair in despair. "You heard me, Christian?!" Turning to him, Ella's wide eyes, that were once filled with grief, were now beaming with hatred. When he didn't answer, she asked again in a loud voice. "Did you hear me?!"

Afraid and confused as to what was going on with her, Christian started crying. "Y-Yes."

She continued trotting and spoke with disgust. "That woman! That wench! This was all her fault! She seduced your father! Robert loved me but she wanted him. She left this town but persuaded him to follow her and he did. But your father loved us so much so he decided to come back to us. H-He died... Y-Your father died while on his way to us."

Christian watched his mother crumbled down the floor. For a several minutes, Ella's sobs were the only sound that could be heard.

Even at a young age, he knew his father was dead. Christian was already told that a plane crash killed his father. Robert was one of the passengers that unfortunately did not survive when the airplane carrying him veered off runway during landing at Detroit Metropolitan Airport way back October 1982.

"We were supposed to get married. Robert was supposed to marry me. That's why he returned. That's why he wanted to come back." Ella murmured while crying on the floor. "We were about to start a family. Him, me and you. We are going to be happy. He was already excited for your birth. But because of that woman, he was taken from us. Robert loved me. Only me. Not her. O-Only me."

Learning that his father was supposed to return to them when he tragically died, made him understand his mother's agony. Ella lost the man she was about to marry, the father of her unborn child. Christian lost a father. And there was only one person to blame. That woman. Whoever she was, Christian's naïve tender heart started blaming her for his father's death, for his mother's grief and for his pain.

:::

Ana released a sigh of relief as she touched Christian's forehead, noting how he was no longer burning up. She took the thermometer on the night stand and placed it in his mouth, uttering a simple prayer in her mind to let him finally be alright. When the thermometer beeped, she read the result and wearily smiled. His fever was finally gone.

Christian wasn't able to take her home. Minutes after he fell asleep at the back of his vehicle, he started shivering. When Ana touched him, he was burning with fever. She asked Taylor to drive them to the nearest hospital but the older man mentioned how his boss never liked hospitals and how Christian was adamant not to go there as much as possible. He said Gail had been taking care of Christian whenever he was sick and already knew what to do.

Following Taylor's suggestion, they arrived at Escala shortly after. Gail hurriedly assisted them in putting the still unconscious Christian in his room and laying his shivering body on the bed. Ana helped the older woman changed his clothes and removed his shoes and socks. They were able to wake him up long enough to feed him his medicines.

After making sure she would no longer need Gail's help, Ana let the older woman retire for the night. For the next couple of hours, she persistently placed and replaced the damp washcloth over Christian's forehead in an effort to help lower his fever.

It was almost 3 in the morning when his fever had completely died down and she started to feel her own weariness. Tired from the day's work plus the effect of the two glasses of beer she drank with Jose, Ana didn't realize she had drifted to sleep at the chair she moved next to Christian's bed.

:::


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"You're awake."

He whirled and saw Ana standing in the doorway of his bedroom, holding a tray of what he assumed was breakfast.

Christian woke up minutes ago, a little disoriented and with a terrible case of body ache. He felt like a bulldozer hit him. Twice. Sitting up, he tried to remember how he ended up on his bed when he couldn't recall coming home.

He was not feeling well for days and was stuck in his place trying to get better when he forced himself to see Ana. The bout of jealousy that crept up in him when Sawyer informed him that she was in a bar drinking with Jose was no longer strange to him. But this time, it was stronger than before. Christian thought maybe because he was now her boyfriend.

Boyfriend? He wanted to belt out a laugh. What good of a boyfriend he was to storm out of her without a word and ignore her calls for days only to show up unannounced to where she was because he was jealous.

He knew what he did was wrong, leaving her the way he did, not calling her after telling her he would and not answering any of her calls. There was no justification to his actions. He was a horrible person, anyone who knew him could attest to that. Heck, he had been plotting a vindictive revenge for years. What did it say about his character?

But of all the calculating he did for his scheme, Christian failed to account the possibility of feeling something for Ana, the subject of his vengeance, more than hatred. He didn't expect to be captivated by her charm, to be attracted to her beauty and to like her personality. He didn't reckon how she was going to be more than just the person he was going to use to hurt her mother. He never planned on caring for her.

Hearing Ana say she trusted him should have made him feel like winning because that was part of his goal all along. Christian wanted her confidence in him. He needed her to believe that he wasn't going to hurt her because when he did hurt her, the pain would definitely destroy her.

But instead of celebrating the success of his goal, he got angry.

To her, for trusting him. She was so pure and innocent, so naïve to the realities of life. Ana looked at the world through rose-colored glasses. Didn't she know that there were people out there who could and would harm her?

To himself, for even thinking about hurting her. Because what he discovered after spending time with her was he wanted to make her smile instead of make her cry. Christian craved to be the reason for her laughter not the cause of her tears. He longed to be the source of her happiness and not her grief.

"How are you feeling?" Ana asked softly. She put the tray at the end of the bed, came closer to him and gently felt his forehead.

Christian closed his eyes to revel on her touch. "What are you doing here?"

His voice might have sounded hard because she pulled away from him.

"You're sick. You were burning with fever last night. I-I can't leave you like that."

Ana woke up suffering from tensed muscles on her neck and back from falling asleep on the chair. Glancing at her watch, she realized she had been asleep for 4 hours. Ignoring her aching body, she pulled herself up and tried to do some stretching. She looked at Christian and noticed he was sleeping deeply.

Deciding a cup of coffee was her best bet to bring her to life, Ana went downstairs and immediately sighted Gail, already awake and was now preparing today's breakfast. The older woman smiled as soon as she saw her. Ana joined her and they chatted.

From the three times she had been there, she had already grown familiar with Christian's housekeeper. Gail, who was the total opposite of her husband, had a soft voice and welcoming smile. Unlike Taylor who appeared to be a no-nonsense kind of man, Gail would tell her funny stories of her previous experiences as a housekeeper. They went along great, to her delight.

When the older woman was finished cooking soup, Ana decided to bring Christian a bowl for breakfast, who she guessed had already woken up. She also filled a pitcher with fresh orange juice and prepared fruit slices for him. Fixing everything on the tray, Ana returned to Christian's bedroom and was glad to see him sitting up on his bed.

Christian rubbed his face with his hand. "I'm sorry."

Ana shook her head. "We'll talk later. You should eat your breakfast first." She slid the tray closer to him. "Do you want me to feed you?"

"No, I think I can manage."

But he couldn't. Hardheaded Christian was still too weak to feed himself so Ana ended up giving him spoonfuls of soup.

"Have you eaten yet?" He asked.

"Yes. I had breakfast with Gail."

"Ana,"

Before he could finish his sentence, she brought the spoon to his mouth, wordlessly telling him that she wasn't ready to talk. He understood the gesture and didn't insist. The room was silent as he ate.

Ana didn't know exactly how to feel. She wanted to be mad at him for cutting her in his life for days yet she pitied him because he was sick. She had questions only he could answer.

:::

After breakfast, Ana found herself downstairs while Christian cleaned himself. Noting the time, she needed to go back to her place after lunch because Kate was due to arrive around 5 in the afternoon.

"I'm sorry."

She heard him say as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked better now. Gone were the redness of his skin and eyes. Even his voice was almost back to normal.

Christian took steps closer to her and held her hands. "I was a fool. I have a lot of things in my mind and instead of staying by your side, I pushed you away. I regret doing that to you. I don't do romance, Ana. Hearts and flowers, they are not me. I'm used to doing things alone because I have an early start. I have issues, plenty of issues. I'm not saying these things to justify my mistakes. There's no excuse for them. But I want you to know that since I met you, you brought changes to my life. I've become this person who gives flowers and gifts to a woman he likes. You made me realize that I'm no longer alone, that I have you with me. And whatever issues I have, I know you're going to be there to make things easier. All I'm asking is your patience. Please be patient with me." He kissed her hands and held them against his cheeks.

He waited with baited breath for her reply. If Ana would forgive him, he would take the chance to show her how much she meant to him. Because if there was one thing he realized when he tried to distance himself from her was forgetting her was impossible. Christian tried. For days, he attempted to remove her from his life but he failed. He walked away from her with a goal to forget her but it only made him miss her. Not seeing Ana had him spent hours in his secret locked room looking at her picture like a moron he was. If she was willing to continue what they had started, he would do everything to make them last. Because there was no way he could let her go.

Ana looked into his eyes. "This is new to me too. I've never had any past relationships to compare with. But I want us, Christian. You and me. But I have to be honest. The things you did, they hurt me."

Remembering the unanswered calls, the concern for his wellbeing and the times she passed by his office and residential buildings hoping to catch just a glimpse of him, Ana choked back her tears.

"I'm very sorry." He hugged her tight. He knew about her suffering. He saw her missed calls, he could imagine how she was worried for him and Sawyer told him everytime Ana drove to Grey House and Escala.

"I forgive you. But we have to work on this relationship. You can't just walk away from me because you want to."

"I understand. It's never going to happen again."

Ana pulled herself away from him. "I want to be with you but you have to let me in."

He nodded in agreement. "We can make this work, Ana."

She smiled. "I believe we can. One step at a time, alright?"

"One step at a time."

Ana continued their talk, telling him about her new job. Christian opted not to disclose to her that he already knew she got the job. Even before she left SIP building, he was already informed by contact person inside how her interview went. He didn't tell her that before she applied at SIP, Grey Enterprises Holdings was already on its way in buying it.

SIP is the most profitable out of the four publishing houses in Seattle despite its being in the edge of stagnation. Christian saw a future in SIP so adding it to his business was not going to be a bad decision.

He had nothing to do with her employment. Christian was honest when he told her, her interview was going to be a success. She didn't need his backing up to acquire the job. Ana was an intelligent and hardworking individual. He was sure her employers saw her potential. He just didn't know how she was going to react if she learned he was going to her boss' boss' boss.

:::

"How did you know I was at Quarry's last night?"

From his seat behind the wheel, Christian glanced at her.

He was driving her back to her place when Ana remembered the events from last night.

"Christian?" Ana called him when he remained silent.

"I hired someone to look after you." He answered in an almost whisper, hoping his words didn't reach her ears.

But they did.

She froze. "W-What do you mean someone to look after me?"

"Like a bodyguard. He is tasked to follow you around."

"A bodyguard?! Without my knowledge?!" She exclaimed.

Ana knew she looked funny with her wide eyes, flaring nose and gaping mouth. She probably looked like a goldfish but she didn't care. How she appeared to be was not what she thinking at the moment. She just found out that there was a man following her around without her knowing. A man was hired to look after her and she had no idea.

"Ana,"

She cut him. Holding one palm up, she glared at him. "No! Don't even try to rationalize it, Christian!" She looked away and took several deep breaths. Seconds later, Ana turned back to him. "Why do I need a bodyguard?"

"I told you before, your safety is my priority."

Yes, she heard it from him before. "Why didn't you tell me? And how long has he, or is he a she?"

"He is a he. His name is Luke Sawyer. I'll introduce you to him later."

He didn't add that Sawyer was currently the driver of the black SUV trailing behind them.

"How long has this Luke Sawyer guy been following me?"

"He's been around for a while."

Christian first ordered Sawyer four years ago to gather information about her when she moved from Montesano to Vancouver to study college. He wanted an in depth knowledge of who Carla's daughter was. Sawyer, a former Marine and a year younger than him, had been following Ana undetected and had been reporting everything to him. He was adamant that Sawyer must not interfere with her life and only watch her from a distance.

But when Christian and Ana started dating, he commanded Sawyer to look out for her and gave him a go signal to do anything to protect her. He wanted Ana safe and secure at all times so the younger man had been upgraded as Ana's bodyguard.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I know what your reaction is going to be. You're going to freak out and will disagree. You make a big deal in everything I do for you, Ana. I can't give you costly gifts. Take a look at the books for example. Even the car I bought for you as a graduation gift ended up as something you bought for yourself because you insisted in paying for it. If I could buy you the world, I would. But I'm afraid you'll be too indebted to me because you'll try to pay for it."

Ana noted the sarcasm in his tone. He was right. Her pride and her apprehension to his net worth prevented her from letting Christian shower her with things he knew she would love.

"Still, you should have told me about this Sawyer guy."

"Yes, I should have and I apologize for not telling you about him."

Christian was aware that getting her a bodyguard without telling her was wrong. He had been used to Sawyer's concealed presence in her life that letting her know about him didn't enter Christian's mind. It was an honest mistake.

:::

She gazed carefully at the man with brown hair, who seemed almost the same age as Christian, as he greeted her politely.

They reached her apartment building minutes later. As soon as they climbed out of the car, Ana noticed a black SUV parked several feet from them. Christian called someone from his phone and a man exited the SUV in no time. The man reached them and Christian finally introduced her to Sawyer.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Steele." Sawyer greeted her.

"Sawyer."

Christian watched as they shook hands and sensed Ana's wariness. He couldn't blame her though. To know that someone had been following you was a surprise nobody wanted. He understood her. He looked at Sawyer and saw helplessness in his face and Christian felt a little sorry for him. The man had just been doing what he was told to do and now he was facing a woman whose ire was visible on her face.

:::

"Let Sawyer guard someone else." Ana uttered as soon as they stepped inside her apartment.

"You don't like him? I'll have some-"

"I don't want anyone guarding me, Christian. I don't need a bodyguard."

Her words didn't bode well with him because he immediately frowned, Ana noticed.

"I have enemies. I didn't reach my place right now after winning everybody's heart. There are people who hate me, hate my guts. They probably won't, but I won't risk letting them harm you."

"Who am I, Christian? I'm just an ordinary woman who's living an ordinary life. Why would you think they would want to hurt me?"

Christian held her by her shoulders. "Have you not been listening to the words I was saying? Who you are is someone important to me, Ana. Seeing you in pain will cause me more pain. If they are fool enough to want to destroy me, they know they should come after you. You're all I have and I'll do anything to make sure you're always alright."

Pondering over everything she recently discovered, Ana stayed silent. She understood Christian's need to protect her. She would do the same if she was in his shoes, that was how much he meant for her too. But she realized how her life changed ever since she met him.

Just barely a month ago, she was a senior student who was trying to make it to her finals so she could graduate and move to Seattle with her best friend. Ana had no interest in dating. As an English Literature student, she was romantic. She believed in happily ever after and forever. Despite how she tried to convince herself that she was okay being alone, deep in her heart, she yearned for the things she had been reading. Falling in love, marrying for love and spending the rest of your life with someone you love. She wished for those stuffs for herself.

Then came Christian, a man who swept her off her feet the first time they met. Like the 'prince' in her own fairytale, he 'rescued' her from falling on the ground. He was handsome, Ana couldn't help but feel attracted to him. He exuded power and strong will. People around him 'bowed' in his presence. He also had his own 'kingdom' where he ruled.

But that was fairytale and Ana's life was not make-believe. Her reality was not perfect. She had insecurities and flaws. Christian had issues and shortcomings. They were two real human beings and their world was filled with people who were either happy for them or wanted something bad to happen to them.

In a short amount of time, her life did changed. She graduated and moved to Seattle just like how she planned. She had a boyfriend. Her boyfriend thought her life was too precious she would need a bodyguard. Suddenly, the simple life she wanted got complicated.

Ana felt his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about Sawyer. But I need him to watch over you when I'm not around. Please understand me, Ana. You're the most important person in my life and I won't risk losing you." He whispered onto her hair.

"Fine."

"Thank you." He kissed her forehead. "You can tell him your preference, he will follow you. Just let him do his job."

"Alright." Ana frowned when she looked at him and it seemed, he wanted to say something but was holding back. "What is it?"

"Next Sunday is my mother's birthday." He started. "There's going to be a simple celebration at their house. Can you come with me? I'd like you to meet my family."

 _"Christian told my parents the only woman who's going to step foot in his place and whom he's going to introduce to us is the woman he's going to marry."_ Suddenly, Mia's words entered her mind.

"Are you sure?" She asked him. "We just said we're going to take this one step at a time." Ana wanted to remind him the weight of what he wanted to happen.

"Yes, I'm sure. I want you to meet them. I've been planning on introducing you to them actually but with your graduation and your move here, the timing isn't just right. So?"

"I'd love to meet them."

Seeing Christian's face lit up with joy was priceless for Ana.

"Oh!" She yelled in surprise when he took her in his arms again and kissed her senseless.

:::


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"A bodyguard? Really?"

Ana had to suppress her laugh seeing the look of shock on her best friend's face. They were in a restaurant having dinner. Kate just got back from Europe and was looking well rested and ready to start her internship with The Seattle Times come Monday morning. Jet lag was a no show on her pretty face.

They traded stories as they ate. Kate told her about the places she visited and the people she met while she toured with her family while Ana told her the updates in her relationship with Christian. When she got to the point of sharing to her that her boyfriend had hired a bodyguard for her, Kate was beyond surprised.

Ana only nodded to answer.

The blonde woman grabbed the wine-filled glass from the table and took a generous sip. "Wow."

"Yeah. Wow." She agreed, still getting used to the current change on her life courtesy of Christian.

"So he's like going to follow you around all the time?" Shamelessly, Kate gawked at Sawyer, who was sitting and eating his dinner a few tables from them.

"It's his job."

"You know, I think I already saw him before." Still eyeing her bodyguard, Kate mused.

"Probably. I told you, he's been around for some time." Ana glanced at him. She had already apologized for her not so welcoming attitude towards him during their introduction a while ago. Sawyer accepted her sorry without hesitation.

Kate was sure she had seen her best friend's bodyguard before, she just couldn't recall when and where. But one thing was certain, Sawyer had been watching over Ana earlier than she was told. That information had Kate felt wary. Her instinct was telling her something was off. Ana was her sister, not by blood unfortunately but she was, in her heart. It was her obligation to look after her.

"I'm going to meet Christian's parents next Sunday." Ana said.

Brushing off her intuition, Kate turned to her. Ana was happy. She could see how her eyes were more brilliant than before and her smiles came more frequently than ever. Kate was glad for her but was concerned for her too. Christian was a powerful man who had taken a liking to her best friend. While he was experienced, Ana was innocent. His world and hers were different, if not polar opposites. Kate only wished Christian would take care of Ana.

:::

"You're in a rush." Hannah commented from her desk.

Picking up her shoulder bag, Ana glanced at her co worker. "Yes. I'll be attending a photo exhibit of a good friend of mine in Portland."

"Alright. Have a safe drive."

"Thanks. Mr. Hyde is still in a meeting. Can you let him know that I already left?" She requested.

Just like her, Hannah Greene was also a recently hired Personal Assistant to another Commissioning Editor. They met on the first day and had bonded instantly. They even made fun of how their names were too similar, Ana and Hannah.

"Sure, I'll tell him, don't worry. Go, Portland is long drive from here."

"Thanks! You're an angel, Hannah." Waving goodbye at her, Ana exited the room hurriedly.

Walking through the hallway, Ana's eyes were on her bag, searching for her keys inside. She was digging out the item when she bumped into something. Or someone.

"Ana,"

She felt hands on her upper arms holding her. Ana turned to the man who spoke and her eyes widened. "M-Mr. Hyde! I'm sorry, I didn't see you." She mumbled as she quickly pulled herself away from his grasp.

Jack let her go and smiled. "It's alright. Are you leaving?"

"Yes. I have a previous commitment I need to attend to. I hope it's fine."

"It's okay. Go ahead. I'll see you on Monday."

Ana plastered a grateful smile. "Thank you. See you on Monday." She whirled around to continue her way to the elevator and didn't see Jack's eyes following her.

:::

Ana heard the doorbell rang. After checking herself in front of the mirror, she grabbed her bag and stepped out of her bedroom to welcome her boyfriend.

Since their reconciliation last Saturday, their relationship had been going on smoothly. Ana's fear of Christian walking away from her didn't happen again. The week passed by with them spending every dinner together, the only time they were able to meet.

He had a busy schedule. His work as President and CEO was keeping him occupied the entire day. Someone would think that with his position, Christian was only sitting breezily on his chair for eight hours a day. But that was far from the truth. He was hands on with everything and devoted to what was going on in his company. Witnessing his work attitude, Ana understood why Grey Enterprises Holdings was successful.

"Hi." Ana greeted him with a light kiss on his lips.

"Hello. Ready?"

Ana nodded and proceeded to lock the door. Holding hands, they strode towards the elevator. Kate would be meeting them in Portland. She was occupied with her current work and couldn't leave the office just yet.

:::

"How's your day?" Draping his arm over her shoulder, Christian asked her as soon as they were seated.

"Good. A little busy. The top management is engaged with meetings. I think it has something to do with the rumor spreading. I heard some people say an acquisition is going to take place."

He tensed. He hadn't told Ana yet that the only thing lacking from the completion of his company's purchase of SIP was his signature. If he signed, SIP would belong to him. Christian didn't think his girlfriend was going to be thrilled with that news.

"Christian,"

His mind was on the image of Ana mad at him for buying the company she was working in, he didn't hear her speak. "Huh?"

"Are you tired?"

His heart swelled at the look of concern on her face. He shook his head no and kissed her lips. "No. For you, never."

Ana rolled her eyes at him. "You don't have to sweet talk me, I'm already yours."

Both of them froze in her words.

Christian held her chin and made her look at him. "You're mine?"

There was possession in his tone that made Ana's heart beat faster. She was stammering when she answered. "I-If you want to. I-I mean, it's okay if y-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Christian's lips were on hers. He held her at the back of her head and tilted her head so he could deepen their kiss. They kissed until they were almost out of breath.

"Say it again, Ana." He whispered, panting.

Was it a command? A plea? Ana couldn't tell but she obeyed. "I am yours, Christian Grey."

"You are mine. And I am yours too, Anastasia Steele."

:::

"You're here!" Jose beamed as soon as she came near him.

"Congratulations!"

Christian watched the two greeted each other, silently berating himself for the unfounded jealousy he couldn't help but feel.

Jose might have been in love with her but Ana didn't feel the same way. Besides, she was his as he was hers. Her statement earlier came as a surprise for Christian. But it brought him a sense of possession.

He was rich. He had numerous assets and properties scattered around the globe but they were only material things, things anyone could get a hold of if they have enough resources to buy them. He had adoptive parents, whom he was forever grateful for, but he was an orphan. Christian had nothing in his life that he thought really belonged to him.

Until she uttered those three words. Christian felt there was finally someone he could finally call his own. Not that he considered her as someone he could possess. Never. Ana was her own person. She was headstrong, had a warrior's spirit and a gentle heart. Christian was contented to witness her growth and become the woman she was meant to be.

"Mr. Grey, welcome." Jose turned and offered his hand.

Christian shook hands with him. "Mr. Rodriguez. Call me Christian. Any friend of Ana is a friend of mine." He said, glancing at his girlfriend.

The younger man nodded. "Thank you." His heart still ached to see Ana with another man but Jose was honest when he told her that he accepted and respected her decision.

:::

"It's beautiful." Christian muttered, eyes glued to the photo hanging on the wall.

The silhouette photograph of a woman blowing a dandelion flower was one of Jose's pictures displayed at the exhibit. The woman was on a side view holding the flower and blowing it. Viewers couldn't identify who the woman on the shadow was but Christian didn't need Jose to tell him who she was. At the first sight of the photo, he knew it was her.

"I want to buy it." He spoke his intention.

"Christian?" Baffled, Ana whirled to him.

They were wandering around the room when they spotted her picture on one corner. It was taken a few months ago when they were hanging out at the university garden. Kate and Jose were occupied taking pictures of everything around them while Ana had her attention in her book. While the two was playing with their cameras, her gaze caught a dandelion on the ground. Remembering how she used to play with it when she was younger, Ana picked the flower and with a smile on her lips, blew it. Her beam brightened as she watched the seeds fly. She didn't notice Jose had taken a picture of her in that moment.

"I'm afraid I can't sell it to you, Christian." From behind them, Jose stated. He might have overheard Christian's motive.

Christian frowned. "Why not?" He didn't like the idea of somebody else owning a photo of his girlfriend.

"It's not mine." Jose looked at Ana as he stepped closer to them. "It's yours. Happy graduation, Ana."

"You're giving it to me?"

"Yes." The photographer nodded. "You can take it with you when you leave."

Overwhelmed by his gift, Ana hugged her friend. "Thank you. I really love it."

:::

"Are you sure? It's yours." Christian wanted the photo. If he could purchase it, he would have done it by now but it's hers. And now she just said she wanted to give it to him.

Arriving from Portland, Taylor pulled over the vehicle in front of her apartment and was about to bring the picture out when Ana stopped him, saying there was no need for him to do that.

She smiled. "I want you to have it. I've been wanting to give you something but can't think of anything your money can't buy. I saw how you looked at it and I know you would love to have it. So the photograph is yours, Christian."

He circled his arms around her waist while she instantly put hers over his shoulders. "How do I get so lucky?" Christian asked.

"Don't sell yourself short, Mr. Grey. I think you're a wonderful person."

:::

Sunday night came and Ana was a nervous wreck. In an hour, she was going to meet Christian's parents.

"You're making my head ache with your traipsing back and forth. Relax, Ana." Kate spoke on her seat at the sofa.

Ana had been pacing restlessly to and from the living room for 15 minutes now and Kate's head started to hurt watching her.

"I can't help it." Ana plopped her body next to her and started smoothing nonexistent wrinkles on her dress with her fingers. "Do you think they'll like me?"

Kate smirked. "What's not to like?"

"Katherineeeee."

She chuckled. "Seriously, you're just overthinking things. Mr. and Mrs. Grey will love you."

"His sister, Mia, said Christian has never introduced any of the women he dated to his parents."

Kate closed the magazine she was perusing and turned to her with a raised brow. "Seriously?"

Ana nodded.

"So, you're the first woman he's going to bring to meet his family?"

She nodded again. "Kind of big deal, right?"

"It is a big deal."

"That's why I'm like this."

Kate shrugged. "It's a big deal really but from what I know about the Greys, they are rich but they are not snotty or snob like the others. For a couple who adopted three children, anyone can tell they are compassionate people."

Ana had the same thought in her mind. Only people with generous hearts could raise children who were not their own.

"You already met Mia, right?"

"Yes and she's nice. Friendly and very down to earth." Ana remembered Christian's outspoken sister.

"I think the older brother, Elliot, is alright too. He looks handsome in the pictures though."

Ana stared at her best friend. "Is that admiration I sensed in your tone? Do you have a crush on him?" She teased.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Please. You know me, Ana. I don't do crushes."

"There's always a first time for everything."

Flipping the magazine open, Kate mumbled. "Not to me."

"Never say never, Katherine."

:::

"Don't worry, they don't bite." Christian uttered as he helped his fidgeting girlfriend exit the vehicle.

"Stop it, Christian. I'm already nervous." With one hand carrying her gift for the birthday celebrant, Ana held his hand and they strode towards the double door of the Grey residence.

She couldn't help but admire the huge mansion. Even from the outside, the house was already radiating wealth and Ana was sure the inside was just the same.

"I'm serious. My parents are great. They will love you. Mia has already told them about your meeting." Christian held her at the small of her back as they crossed the threshold of the house.

He immediately spotted his parents heading over to them, welcoming smiles were on their faces.

"Christian!" Grace hugged her son as soon as she reached them. "So glad to see you."

"Happy birthday, mom." He greeted her before turning to his father. "Dad,"

"Glad you can make it, son." Carrick welcomed him with a father and son hug.

"I'd like you to meet Anastasia Steele, my girlfriend. Ana, meet my parents, Grace and Carrick." Christian introduced Ana to them.

Grace's face lit up more with happiness as she turned to Ana. "Anastasia! It's nice to meet you. Mia was right, you are indeed very beautiful."

Ana, who watched Christian greet them, blushed at the unexpected compliment. She held out her gift for the older woman. "Happy birthday, Mrs. Grey. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Grace took the gift but instead of shaking Ana's hand, she welcomed her with an embrace. "Thank you for this, Ana. Please call me Grace."

Carrick welcomed her with the same warmth as Grace's. "It's Carrick for you Ana. You are not a stranger to this house and family. Treat this place like your own." The older Grey spoke as they shook hands.

"Finally, we get to meet the face behind the famous name 'Ana'." A man's voice was heard from behind the older Grey couple.

A grinning blonde haired man came into their views with Mia following him.

"Ana!" Mia shrieked as she quickly wrapped her arms around Ana. "Oh, you don't know how I longed to see you here. Christian took a while in bringing you." She said, throwing a glare at her brother.

"Hi Mia." From her embrace, Ana greeted.

"Meet my older brother, Elliot. Elliot this is Ana, my girlfriend." Christian carefully pulled Ana from his sister's arms.

Elliot shook Ana's hand. "Welcome Ana. It's great to finally meet you. For a while, I thought Mia was just imagining things when she told us you met." With a sly smirk on his lips, he looked at his brother. "I didn't know you had it in you, li'l bro."

Christian only rolled his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Elliot." Ana was thrilled to see face to face the man Kate was secretly crushing on. Sensing the two shared the same personalities, she thought Kate and Elliot would click as a couple.

:::

"This is my bedroom." Christian spoke as he opened the door of his childhood bedroom, letting her inside before following her. He had been showing her parts of the house and put his bedroom on the last.

Ana scanned the room with curiosity and bewilderment. She couldn't believe Christian liked baseball, spotting a Mariners' poster pasted on his wall. There were baseball cap and ball displayed on top of a wooden dresser. A picture of the Greys was framed and nailed to the wall made her smile, seeing how lanky he appeared to be during his teenage years. Two framed photographs caught Ana's gaze. She stepped closer to them and studied their faces.

"They were my parents." He uttered from behind her.

The man's resemblance to Christian was uncanny. Ana would assume if Christian was younger, they could be mistaken as twins. They shared the same hair color, eyes and nose.

"His name was Robert Henders. He died on a plane crash when he was 18."

Ana's heart went to Christian, realizing he didn't get to meet his father. "I'm sorry. You've never met him." She looked at him apologetically.

"Unfortunately, I didn't. He died before I was even born. I never had a chance to get to know him but my mother used to tell me stories about him." He said, staring at the other photo.

Ana's eyes followed his. The picture was of a smiling woman with a brown hair and brown eyes. It was then that Ana saw where Christian got his smile. The woman, his mother, had the same smile as his.

"She's Ella Dawson, my mother." Sadness was apparent in his voice. "I was 8 when she killed herself."

"Christian," Ana could see the hurt in his eyes as he remembered Ella. She wanted to stop him from reminiscing his painful past, discerning how his mother's death affected him even so now.

"I was at school when it happened." He started, gaze not leaving Ella's photo. "I arrived in the afternoon and entered our home. I didn't sense anything wrong that time so I did what I usually do. I put my backpack on the floor and went to see my mother. I expected her on her bed with tears in her eyes. She was crying a lot that time, more than her usual. I thought maybe she got more depressed about my grandparents' death who died 4 months before."

"I stepped inside her room," Christian paused, trying to control his emotion. "She was on the floor, bloodied. She was... She was already dead. She cut her wrist. I saw her wound, it was huge. There was so many blood." His voice broke and his shoulders trembled as he wept.

In an instant, Ana flew towards him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry." Picturing an 8 year old Christian seeing his mother in that condition broke her heart. She didn't realize she was crying with him.

"I-I screamed so loud I got our neighbor's attention. I-It was a blur after that. I can't recall anything after that. It was as if I shut down. I couldn't speak, I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel anything. My mind was empty, my heart was void with emotion. I became nothing. I was brought to a hospital to get treated."

Christian brushed off his tears and went on. "Grace, she's an angel. She saw me and took time to get to know me. She made me find my voice again. She made me speak, made me feel once more. Painstakingly, she nursed me back to normal. Grace heard that I was about to be brought to my first foster family. She asked for Carrick's help to furnish all the paperworks needed to let me come home with them as their new son. Without them, I'd probably be dead by now. They saved me."

Ana felt his hands cupping her cheeks, his thumbs were wiping her tears away. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be. I'm alright now." He managed to give her a smile. "Let's go, the tour is over. They are probably waiting for us downstairs."

Ana casted one last look at his birth parents' photographs before leaving the room.

:::


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

With furrowed brow, she gazed at the old and faded picture in her hand. Despite the blurriness of the image, she easily identified her mother as one of the two people in it. Teenager Carla was in her school uniform, smiling with her arm linked to another teenage girl. The other girl, who was wearing the same uniform like her mother's, was also beaming in front of the camera. Focusing her eyes on the unknown girl, Ana felt something tugged in her. She couldn't make out how the girl exactly looked because the photo was unclear but her eyes seemed familiar. _Where have I seen them before?_

It was a Saturday and Ana decided to visit her parents, whom she hadn't seen again after her graduation. When the dinner was over, she remembered Kate's request so she went with her father to the attic in search of her high school yearbook that her best friend wanted to borrow. Rummaging inside a box, she came across some of Ray's and Carla's photographs from their younger days.

Turning to her father, she showed him the photo. "This is mom, right? Who's with her?"

Ray looked at the picture she was holding and nodded. "That's your mom and the other girl was her best friend."

Confused, she asked. "Was?"

"She had been dead for years now. I can't exactly recall her name. Was it Eloise? Emma?" He shook his head and gave up trying to remember. "Anyway, they were best friends before your mother moved here."

Ana knew of her mother transfer to Montesano when her Grandma Juliet married her Grandpa Eric. Carla told her how Juliet took care of her when her own parents died. The older woman, who was now residing in Florida with her husband, was Carla's only remaining relative.

"Mom never told me about her." She whispered, still looking at the girl in the picture.

"Don't show her that picture, Ana." As if reading her mind, Ray warned her.

With questions in her eyes, she waited until he continued.

"Your mother... She has been through a lot. Life has not been easy for her. When I met Carla, she was a senior transferee in our school. She quickly made friends with our classmates, laughed with them and even joined them in their activities. Everything seemed alright with her but all was just a façade."

Ana was already aware that her parents were classmates in high school.

When she was a child, instead of telling her stories about Cinderella and Snow White to put her to sleep, Ray had repeatedly and generously shared their love story. He would start with the day he first saw Carla. He was so believable whenever he would mention how he knew he was going to marry her one day. He befriended her and tried to earn her trust. But the moment he confessed his feelings for her, Carla not only didn't believe him but she was certain she was not going to fall in love again. During that time, he could tell she was hurting. Respecting what she wanted, he accepted her offer of friendship and they gradually became confidantes.

After their high school graduation, he enrolled in the same university as hers and even took the same course as hers. He had been there for her for years as someone she could always count on. He constantly remained by her side, taking only what she could give her then. He didn't lose hope and stayed convinced that they belonged together. It was only when they were about to graduate that Carla admitted how along the way, she had started falling for him. Ray asked her to marry him right after she finished her confession. They got married a week after their commencement ceremony.

Their return to Montesano to start their married lives was a mutual decision, wanting the town's environment for their future children. They bought a house and applied as teachers at the nearest high school. Two years later, Ana was born.

Whenever Ray reached the ending of his story, Ana would silently hope that one day she would get her own love story to tell her children.

Thinking about it now, Ana didn't know Carla's life before she moved to Montesano. Her mother never shared stories about her younger years.

Ray went on. "I remember when she had been absent in all our classes for two weeks. The last time I saw her was the Friday before her Aunt Juliet's wedding the following day. She was excited, she told me. When Monday came and I hadn't seen her, I assumed she was just tired from the celebration. But when two weeks has passed and she was still absent, I came to see her at her home but her Uncle Eric told me she was brought to the hospital. I showed up at her hospital room and was shocked to find her thin and pale. She was alone that time. She was sitting up with her back on the headboard of the hospital bed, holding a torn newspaper clipping and silently weeping. When I glanced at what was written on the paper, I read about the plane crash that took headlines two weeks before."

"I tried to make my presence known but she seemed to be in a trance. She kept murmuring how sorry she was, how she didn't mean to say those words to him and how she lost everything now. Repeatedly, she was mumbling those things with tears flowing down her face." Ray shook his head sadly. "She looked so broken."

:::

She was lying on the bed in her childhood bedroom still holding the faded picture. Ray's story was cut abruptly when they heard Carla's voice calling for him.

 _What happened between her mother and her best friend? Who did she lost in the airplane accident?_

Ana was asking herself those questions and knew only Carla could answer her. But heeding her father's caution, she had to be wary.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard her cellphone rang. Glancing at who the caller was, Ana smiled unknowingly.

"Hello." She greeted the person. Her voice was light and soft.

 _"Hi. Are you asleep?"_ Christian spoke from the other side of the line.

"Not yet. You?" If Ana had to guess, he was still probably at work.

 _"I'm still in the office. How's your day?"_

"Great. I didn't realize I missed my mother's cooking. She made all my favorites."

 _"I bet she missed you. How are they?"_

"They're great. They asked me questions about you though. Dad has no idea who you are. He thought you're an alumni of WSU that's why you were invited to speak in my graduation. Kate's father told him about you and your business. Dad's feeling a little concerned. Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's just getting use to the fact that I have a boyfriend now."

 _"I understand. I can come pick you up tomorrow so they can talk to me. Hopefully, I can ease their worries."_

"You would do that?" Ana was stunned.

It had been a month since she was introduced to the Greys and Ana had been joining their family's Sunday dinner with Christian. Kate was right, Christian's family was humble and down to earth people despite their wealth. There was never an instance when she felt out of place being with them. They treated her nicely each and every time.

She even went shopping with Mia once but only purchased what her salary could. Christian tried giving her his card but Ana refused it adamantly. She had a salary. It wasn't large but she worked hard for it and was going to reward herself by buying things she wanted. She couldn't afford those expensive brands but since she was never particular about them, she didn't mind.

She could almost see his smile when he replied. _"Of course I'd do it. I'll do anything for you, Ana."_

:::

Putting his cellphone down after saying goodnight to his girlfriend, Christian grabbed the newspaper sitting atop his desk. It was given to him by Taylor earlier that day. He flipped the pages open until he reached the society page. He was greeted by a picture of him exiting a restaurant. He was used to seeing himself on the paper but today's issue was special. In his hand was Ana's. This was the first time a paparazzi was able to take a picture of them together. The shot was taken last night when he took her to dinner at a newly opened Italian restaurant near her place. They went on with their walk, oblivious to someone taking a picture of them.

'New Girl for Christian Grey?', the caption on the photo said. He had no idea how Ana was going to take the news. She left Seattle early morning and had not seen their image yet.

With a smile on his lips, he ghosted a finger over Ana's face on the paper. She wasn't just a new girl for him, he wanted to correct the writer. She was so much more. She had become so much more without him expecting.

Leaning his tired body against the back of his chair, he let out a sigh. He missed her. Christian had been getting used to spending his night with her and now that she was an almost 2-hour drive away, he was longing for her. He never thought he would find himself looking forward to sunsets, knowing no matter how stressful his morning was or how exhausting his lunch turned out to be, he would end his day with Ana giving him her sweetest smile.

"Christian,"

A familiar voice broke his thoughts. He looked up and saw Elena standing in the doorway. Christian straightened on his seat. "Elena,"

Elena Lincoln was a mistake from his past, who he hadn't seen since he broke things with her 5 years ago. Last thing he heard about the older woman was she moved to Greece with her family. It looked like she was back.

He was 22 back then and Grey Enterprises Holdings was just starting. He was young and stupid to have an affair with the then-36 year old married woman and one of Grace's friends. Their discreet liaison lasted a year and ended when she admitted she was planning on divorcing her husband so they could become official. Getting serious with her was never in his mind when they started to hookup.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not bothering to greet her properly. The way they parted was not in good terms. Christian could still remember how mad she was. She even threatened to destroy him.

Glancing at the newspaper on his desk, she smirked. "I see you're putting your plan in action."

He was caught surprised but tried to act nonchalantly. There was a time during their affair when he disclosed his hatred for Carla Steele and his goal to hurt her. "I don't see why it does concern you."

She sauntered over to him and stood opposite him with only his desk separating them. "It doesn't actually because I know you, Christian."

He gritted his teeth. "You don't know anything about me."

As if amused, Elena chuckled. "I do."

"What do you want?" He wanted to go home and sleep. Today had been a long day. It was a Saturday but since Ana was in Montesano, he decided to come to his office and work. With all the contract reviews he had to peruse, he didn't notice how much time had passed. And now it was already late at night and he was weary.

"Nothing."

"You never want 'nothing', Elena." He stood up and picked the newspaper and his phone up. "It's late, I'm going home. See yourself out."

Striding past her, he was about to exit when he heard her spoke.

"Has she been there? In your apartment? Did you bring her there?" There was accusation in her tone.

Christian turned to her.

"Grace told me you already introduced that woman to her." She added.

"What I did and will do is not your concern, never has been in fact. We're through. What happened between us is a mistake. Something I regret up to now."

"Don't say that!"

He glared at her. "I'll say what I want to say! Stay out of my life, Elena. I'm warning you."

"I love you, Christian. I still love you." She took steps closer to him. "I tried to forget you but I can't."

"You know how I feel about you. I've always been honest with you."

"When you're done with her, we can continue what we had. If you don't want me to divorce my husband, I won't. If you want us to remain a secret, I'm okay with that. Anything you want." Raising her hand, she tried to touch him but he moved away before she could do.

"Don't you get it? There's no way I'm going to be done with her."

Elena's blue eyes widened in utter disbelief. "D-Don't tell me-"

He nodded. "Yes, I'm telling you."

With that, he turned his back on her and exited his office.

:::

He watched as the woman sitting next to him folded the yesterday's newspaper in two and put it on the center table across them. Turning to him with a passive look on her face, Christian couldn't decipher what she was thinking.

Slowly, a teasing a smile spread on her lips. "I guess I'm your new girl now."

"You're not just my new girl, you know it."

Ana rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I know it."

"What we have is different, Ana." He spoke seriously, locking his eyes on hers. "I've never... This never happened to me before."

"I know, Christian. I believe you."

After his gesture today, Ana's previous doubts about their relationship disappeared. True to his words, he came to Montesano to see and talk to her parents. Christian faced the older couple's apprehension about him and his stature. He listened, accepted and understood where Ray's and Carla's uneasiness were coming from. While her hand was in his grip, he told them about his intention and promised them that hurting their daughter would be the last thing he would do. Ana listened to every word he uttered and couldn't help but be overwhelmed by them. She only wished her parents would give him a chance.

She wanted to think that hearing Christian had pacify them somehow. While Ray seemed to finally accept the fact that she was now a grown up woman, Carla was a different story. Ana had caught her mother glancing at Christian with wariness several times since his arrival. He didn't seem to notice though. Or if he did, he was polite to ignore Carla's gaze.

They left the house with a promise to come back again the soonest. Taylor drove them back to Seattle in time for the Grey's family dinner. After the meal and minutes of talking, Christian escorted her home. It was only when they were in her apartment, he showed her their picture from yesterday's newspaper.

Seeing their photo printed on the paper for the public to look at, had brought Ana a little discomfort. She wasn't used to attention and had always lived privately. But having Christian as her boyfriend, her once quiet life had already changed. She now had Sawyer as her bodyguard and had capture the media's attention apparently.

Ana felt Christian's lips on her hair and she moved her head closer to him instinctively. Fluttering her eyes close, she basked in the comforting feeling of his presence.

:::

"You're dating Christian Grey? Since when? Why didn't you tell me?" Excitement was obvious in Hannah's voice.

As soon as Ana arrived at SIP, her colleague approached her with a copy of the newspaper from Saturday's issue that had her picture on it holding hands with her boyfriend. She sat on her desk chair and tried to collect herself before entertaining Hannah.

She knew this was going to happen. Christian was a high profile businessman. His business, social and personal life had always been post-worthy. This wasn't the first time he was on the news with a woman in his arms. But the women linked to him were either businesswomen like him, daughters of politician, socialites, supermodels or Hollywood actresses. Unlike her, these women were well known individuals.

Looking around, she was glad that there was nobody else in the room but them.

"Yes, we're dating but we're still getting to know each other." She answered in a murmur.

Hannah's eyes grew wide. "Oh my God! How is he? Is he sweet? I can't believe it! You're dating Christian Grey!"

"Hush, Hannah." She chastised the woman who calmed herself immediately.

"I'm sorry." She apologized shyly.

Ana sighed, comprehending her coworker's instant reaction. "It's alright. To answer your questions, he is normal just like us. You'd think he's a complicated person with his money but he isn't. He loves expensive things because of their quality but will be fine to use cheaper ones if they met his standards. He is sweet, very sweet."

"Ana,"

Hearing a man's voice from behind them, Ana and Hanna both froze on their seats. They looked at each other before turning their heads to see who spoke.

"Mr. Hyde. Good morning." Ana greeted her boss.

"Good morning, Mr. Hyde." Hannah did the same.

"Good morning, ladies." He replied before turning his attention to Ana. "May I see you in my office for a minute, Miss Steele?"

Ana stood up automatically. "Of course, sir."

Jack walked past their tables and entered his office with Ana following behind him.

:::

"What?" Taken aback, Ana could only stare at her boss.

Jack frowned at the woman sitting across from him. "You didn't know?" He asked, doubtful.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you sure you have no idea that your boyfriend, Mr. Grey, owns the company you're working in?" He repeated his statement moments ago.

According to Jack, it had already been two weeks since Grey Enterprises Holdings became the official owner of SIP. After several meetings, the acquisition was at last finalized. Christian had finally signed the paper that would give him control of the publishing house where Ana was employed.

Everything took place without her knowledge, not that he owed her any explanation or information. But she was hurt.

"I don't know anything about it. I wasn't told." Ana answered in a low voice.

"But you are dating Mr. Grey?" Staring at her intensely, he questioned to confirm.

"Yes, I am."

Several seconds later, Ana heard him sighed.

"I hope you understand my skepticism, Miss Steele." Jack began. "Mr. Grey is a powerful man and SIP is only a fleck compared to his empire. I hate to think that he bought SIP for his own personal reason. But you said so yourself, you were clueless to what has transpired. Maybe Mr. Grey has his reasons for not disclosing anything to you."

"It's alright, Mr. Hyde." She tried to smile but she was aware how fake it appeared. "I understand your mistrust. I applied here to work. I took this job because I believe I can contribute significantly to this company and hopefully learn a lot from everyone. I have no other purpose to be here. I hope you still trust me."

:::

Ana felt the vibration of her cellphone in her pocket but ignored it and went on to eating her lunch. It was her break time and she was in the gadget had already been turned to silent as soon as she left Jack's office. She knew it was Christian who was calling her but chose not to answer him.

While chewing her sandwich, she pondered over what she just discovered. The acquisition rumor was true. Another company, a much bigger company, bought SIP. The first time she heard about the hearsay, Ana didn't care who the new owner was going to be since she was just an ordinary employee and had no say. But to learn that Christian, her boyfriend, was the one who bought SIP, meant something to her. Of all the publishing houses in Seattle, why would he buy the company she was employed in. Had it been his plan? Since when? Ana remembered mentioning to him about the rumor spreading. He didn't react.

"Miss Steele,"

She looked behind her and saw Sawyer standing a few steps from her. "What is it?"

"Mr. Grey wants me to check on you. He's been calling you but you're not answering. Is your phone not working?"

"You can tell him I'm fine and my phone is fine. I'll call him later. Thank you, Sawyer."

He contemplated her answer for a second before acquiescing. "Alright, Miss Steele." He left shortly.

Thinking it was Christian trying to contact her, she pulled out her phone when it vibrated again. It was Mia on the other end.

"Hi, Mia."

 _"Hello, Anna. What do you think of a tie?"_

Confused, she asked. "Tie? What are you talking about?"

 _"As my birthday gift for Christian. His birthday is next week. Mom and Dad are throwing him a party. Of course you are invited. So, tie?"_

"I think he'll love it."

 _"Great! I'll see you next week. Take care, Ana."_

"See you soon, Mia. Take care too."

June 18. Confirming the date on the calendar of her phone, Christian's birthday was indeed next Monday. She didn't feel like talking to him yet but her mind was busy thinking what to give someone who had everything.

:::


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

She saw him as soon as he stepped out of the backseat of his vehicle. Ana glanced at Sawyer, who was keen enough to look guilty. It looked like her bodyguard informed Christian that she was about to go home, half an hour earlier than usual. _The snitch._

Subtly, she roamed her eyes around, hoping that none of her coworkers was in the area to see Christian hurriedly crossing the street to come to her.

Today, the news about her relationship with him had spread out like a wildfire in the office. Clearly, plenty of them saw her picture on the paper and those who didn't, were told about it. Speculations and guesses were made, some were good, others were bad. There were people who congratulated her for catching Christian's eyes. Others warned her not to trust the playboy billionaire for she would only get her heart broken in the end. Ana took everything in as indifferently as she could. She didn't care about the rumors, the judgements and the people throwing them at her. She had no intention on explaining her side to anyone. She was never been one to try to please everyone. For as long as her conscience was clear, she didn't mind what people were saying about her.

What hurt her was Christian's action or rather his lack of it.

And now the man was standing in front of her, eyeing her worriedly.

"Ana," One hand instantly took her by her upper arm. "What's wrong? Why are you ignoring my calls? What's the problem?"

Ana shook her head. "I can't talk here."

"Let's go to my place then."

He always preferred Escala over her apartment as their go-to place and she comprehended his reasons. Aside from the fact that his penthouse was nearer to SIP than her apartment, he also didn't have a roommate who could barge into the place any moment.

Noticing there were people already on their way out of the building, Ana acquiesced. "Fine."

:::

Glancing at the woman who was sitting quietly beside him, Christian sensed she was upset.

He knew something was wrong. The moment his first call went into the voicemail, his instinct told him there was something off with Ana. He tried calling her countless of times but she never answered. Christian had to ask her bodyguard to check on her and see if she was alright. When Sawyer informed him that she and her phone were fine and that she was going to call him later, he had to stop himself from dashing to her office. It was a good thing that he was stuck in a meeting and couldn't leave.

But when Sawyer texted him that Ana was about to leave work earlier than her 5 o' clock off to go home, he abandoned what he was doing and rushed Taylor to drive him to SIP. Since Sawyer had been driving her everyday to work, it had been easier for Christian to order the man to delay their departure.

He reached her just as she exited her office building. And now Taylor was driving them to his place.

They arrived at Escala minutes later. No words were spoken by both of them the entire drive. They climbed out of the SUV, rode the elevator and entered his penthouse in silence. Ana's quiet treatment was making him uncomfortable. If he did something wrong, he wanted to know what it was so he could apologize for it and do something that could rectify the situation.

Christian watched as she wordlessly sat down on the single sofa, leaving him no choice but to seat opposite hers. After they were done talking, he would ask Gail to throw that single couch away. He hated how she was near yet unreachable for him.

"What's wrong?" He asked as soon as they were seated, eager to find out what upset her.

Ana took a deep breath and spoke calmly. "I'm not going to make this harder for you. All I want to know is of all the publishing houses in the city, why did you buy SIP? And I know it's not your obligation to tell me anything about your business but a little heads up would be nice, Christian. I'm working there. I think I deserve to know that the man I'm seeing is the new owner of the company I'm employed in."

He knew this moment would come. As of 14 days ago, SIP was his and Ana didn't know about it. Christian didn't tell her about it.

"Grey Enterprises has been eyeing SIP before you even graduated. It is the most profitable publishing houses here in Seattle and adding it to my business is a lucrative move. Before you even submitted your résumé, my people were already discussing offers with the previous stockholders. It's only 2 weeks ago that everything was finalized." He tried to explain. "I'm sorry I kept everything from you."

"Why? Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Because you'll do what, Ana?" He asked back carefully. "If I told you I'm planning on buying the company you're interested in working in, you'll retract your application and end up working somewhere else, wasting your talent in a mediocre job. This is your first work and SIP is the best there is. I won't take that opportunity from you."

Yes, she would definitely withdraw her application and find a job somewhere else. A part of her would regret that decision since working at SIP would be a great chance for her to gain experience, she was certain. But Ana didn't want to work in any company owned by him.

"Do you have any idea what they said about me? About how I got my position when they learned about our relationship?" She continued, not bothering to hear his response. "They asked me why I settled being a personal assistant when I can be the president since I'm dating you!"

His eyes followed her as she pulled herself up from the couch and started pacing around.

She stopped to glare at him. "I was even accused of spying SIP for you! Do you know how absurd that was?!" Combing her hair with her fingers, Ana let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't care about the rumors, Christian. They'll end some time anyway. But I love my job. I love working at SIP."

Christian saw tears forming in her eyes and berated himself for causing them. He stood up and closed their distance. Wrapping his arms around her, he was relieved when she didn't jolt. "I'm sorry. I thought I'm doing what's best for you by not telling you about it. I didn't think how it's going to affect you when people find out. I didn't mean to put you in a hard place. I'm sorry."

"Stop keeping things from me, Christian."

He stiffened.

With so many things he had been keeping from her, Christian didn't even know where to start if he decided to be honest with her or if he even wanted to be truthful to her in the first place. Letting Ana know his real identity and his reason why he was in her life would definitely take her away from him.

He was afraid. Afraid of how she was going to react if she found out everything. Scared that if he confessed all the things he was hiding from her she would leave him. The possibility of losing Ana frightened him. Just the thought of her not being in his life petrified him.

He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't.

"Don't leave me." He whispered onto her hair, tightening his grip on her body, pulling her close to him.

"Never. I'll never leave you."

How Christian wished he could count on her words but knew better. It was easy for her to assume there was no way she was leaving him because she didn't know who he really was and what he previously planned on doing to her. If Ana did, she would never utter those words to him. She would never even dare to be in his life.

:::

Kate was in the living room, her tired body lying on the couch and her attention was on the pictures she was busily browsing through the gallery of her cellphone. An hour ago she arrived from her internship and decided to finally arrange and delete some of the photos in her phone. The constant reminder informing her that her storage was almost full had been stretching her already short patience. Since Ana was still with Christian, she opted to wait for her roommate while clearing her gadget of unnecessary stuff.

When she made it to the album from six months ago, a crease formed on her forehead at what she just spotted. Looking closely at the image, Kate felt her heart began pounding faster. If she was right in recognizing the man in the background, her previous instinct had been correct. Sawyer had been watching Ana before she even met Christian.

"Hey,"

She almost jumped from the couch when she heard a voice. Too lost in her thoughts, Kate didn't hear the door opened and Ana entering with Christian following behind her. "God! You scared me!"

"Are you watching a horror film?" Ana's gaze turned to the TV and wondered when she saw it off. "You're not. Then why are you jumpy?"

"It's nothing." Kate smiled uneasily while glancing at Christian. "Hi."

"Hello, Katherine."

Looking back at her best friend, Kate said. "I'll leave you two alone and be in my room." She didn't wait for Ana's answer and darted into her room.

The couple watched her retreating form.

"She seems weird." Ana commented, eyes on the closed door of Kate's bedroom.

Christian enclosed her in a hug. "Maybe she's tired."

Deciding to let go of Kate's odd behavior for the meantime, she remembered his upcoming birthday. "Mia called."

"What did she want?"

"She just invited me to your birthday dinner next week. Your parents are throwing you a party."

He shrugged. "They do it for us every year."

"You're not looking forward to it?"

"I'm never fond of my birthday." He admitted.

Despite his birth mom's effort in making his birthday a celebratory occasion, Christian never found a reason to enjoy the day.

Every year before her death, Ella would be in a good mood and would bake a cake or at least would try to bake a cake since she was a terrible cook. She would invite his closest friends to attend his party. They would sing a song for him and would wish him a happy birthday. He would thank them, let them know how he appreciated their presence and open the gifts they brought. But deep inside, Christian was sad, knowing her mother's high spirits was only temporary.

Every year when he was about to blow his birthday candle, he would wish for his mother's happiness. Christian wanted to see her smile frequently. He yearned for the ache in her eyes to disappear. But his wish was never answered. Instead, he lost Ella when he was just beginning to comprehend life. She was gone before he could even deeply understand the things surrounding him. All he knew were his mother's pain and despair and the reasons and person he believed that caused them.

"Why?"

"I can't find a reason to celebrate it." He sat on the sofa Kate recently emptied with Ana sitting next to him.

She regarded him with pity in her eyes. "How about we make our own celebration at your place after we attended your birthday party at your parents?"

The idea of celebrating that occasion with her made Christian, for the first time in a very long time, look forward to it. He smiled at the thought. "I want that."

:::

Ana and Kate exited their apartment with hurried steps. Both were in the verge of being late that morning. As soon as Kate saw Sawyer standing beside his SUV obviously waiting for Ana, she stilled.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ana asked, noticing her reaction.

She quickly shook her head. "Nothing. Greet Christian a happy birthday for me, will you?"

One week had passed since she confirmed Sawyer's presence in Ana's life before her best friend even met Christian. Kate wasn't sure if Sawyer was stalking Ana on his own or Christian was behind the bodyguard's action. Whatever reason he had for watching Ana without her knowledge had put him in Kate's people-to-be-wary-of list.

She had been stealing peeks at Sawyer any chance she could get, struggling to unravel the man behind the suit. Kate never mentioned what she discovered to her best friend. Until she knew for sure what the man's reason for following Ana around was, she decided to keep her mouth shut. Her best friend's happiness is Kate's priority and so far, Ana was happy. That was what all that mattered for her.

"I will. Are you sure you don't want to come with me to his party? You'll meet Elliot if you do." Ana teased.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Very funny. I'm sorry I can't. I have reports to finish."

"I understand. Go ahead, you'll be late."

The two best friends parted after hugging each other goodbye. Ana watched as Kate boarded her car after throwing Sawyer a subtle glance. She had been noticing her blonde best friend's peculiar attitude whenever her bodyguard was around.

"Did something happen between you and Kate?" Ana questioned Sawyer.

"Nothing that I am aware of, Miss Steele." The man's quick and formal reply.

She only nodded and went to climb in the back of the vehicle. Like Taylor, her bodyguard had a no nonsense demeanor. Seeing she was safely tucked inside, Sawyer took the seat behind the wheel and drove away.

:::

To describe Carrick's and Grace's party in celebration of Christian's birthday as marvelous was an understatement. The Grey's mansion was filled with guests. Foods were being served relentlessly. Tables and chairs flooded the spacious lawn. There was a band performing on the stage, providing music for everyone. The center of the area was designed to be the dance floor and there were already people moving to the rhythm of the song.

Christian picked Ana up in her apartment an hour ago and they arrived at the house minutes later. No matter how much he had warned her of the over the top feast his parents were sure to give him, Ana was still astonished with how everything looked spectacular. From the decorations surrounding the space to the quality of foods being served, everything was perfect and breathtaking.

As soon as they showed up at the party, Christian was greeted by visitors, some she easily recognized like the Mayor and the Governor. With her hand locked on his grip, Ana was introduced by him as his girlfriend. Politely, she acknowledged them. When it was time for him to give a little speech on the stage, she stood next to Elliot and Mia and listened to him speak.

Christian was about to return to her when she saw a few gentlemen approached him. When he casted a concerned look at her, she smiled in return, wordlessly telling him she was alright. Mia reluctantly left her side not long after to greet her friends who just entered the premises. Elliot did the same upon seeing his business partners.

Standing alone, Ana roamed her eyes around and tried to test herself if she could identify some of the high profiled guests. She recognized a few celebrities and businessmen. Her attention was pulled by Grace calling her name. She saw Christian's mother sauntering over to her accompanied by a blonde woman.

"Ana, dear!" Grace greeted her warmly with an embrace and a kiss on her cheek. "Where's Christian?" She looked around, searching for her son.

"Hi Grace." She greeted back. "Christian's speaking with a few of his guests."

"I'd like you to meet my good friend, Elena Lincoln. She just came back from abroad." The older woman introduced her companion. "Elena, this lovely girl here is Anastasia Steele, Christian's girlfriend."

Smiling at her, Elena held her hand out. "Nice to meet you, Ana."

Ana smiled back and shook the older woman's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mrs. Lincoln."

"Please call me Elena. Christian is not a stranger to m-"

"Elena," They heard Christian's voice. Before Elena could end her sentence, he was already rushing to them. Quickly placing himself in between Ana and Elena, he broke their shaking of hands. "I'm surprised to see you here."

Elena ignored his deathly glare and took a step forward to kiss his cheek. "Happy birthday, Christian."

Oblivious to the tension between her friend and son, Grace butted in casually. "I took the liberty of inviting her when I learned she's back. We haven't seen each other for years."

"It's alright, mom. Do you mind if I talk to Ana?"

"No, go ahead, son. We'll check on your father."

Ana felt his hand gripped her, leading her inside the house.

:::

"Is there something wrong? What's going on?"

Christian could hear the worry in her questions as they entered his bedroom. Seeing her talking to Elena brought him to panic. He didn't know what the blonde woman's plan was but he didn't trust her. She was a manipulative person, one who was willing to destroy everything to get what she wanted.

His first instinct was to put Ana as far away from her as he could. Elena knew his secrets. Secrets that could shatter his relationship with Ana.

"Christian?"

He turned to look at his girlfriend who was gazing at him with worry. Reaching out, he wrapped her in a hug and breathe in her scent. Christian felt himself immediately relaxed.

"I'm fine." He whispered after a while. He pulled away from her enough to cup her cheeks with his hands. "How about we ditch this party? I believe I still have a celebration to attend to at my place."

"Are you sure? Your guests are still downstairs. Won't they be looking for you?"

He shrugged. "It's always the same every year. Believe me, they are already used to me. Besides, Grace is a great hostess. She'll take care of everything."

Recalling how tonight had been a success, Christian was right, Grace was more than an excellent hostess.

She smiled at him. "Alright."

"I'll inform Taylor." Smiling, he turned away and dug out his phone from his pocket, heedless to the key that he unknowingly grabbed. He didn't see it fall on the carpeted floor.

While Christian was talking to Taylor about their 'escape plan', she roamed her eyes around. This was only the second time Ana had been in his bedroom even if she was in the house every Sunday for the family dinner. She had a feeling Christian was not comfortable being inside of it because it reminded him of his painful past.

Ana's sight turned to Ella's framed picture and her face saddened seeing the woman who had long been dead. She had questions in her mind for Christian's birth mother.

 _Was the pain too unbearable? Was Christian not worth living for? Did she think about her son when she decided to kill herself?_

But if Ella didn't die and the Greys didn't adopt Christian, would it be possible for Ana to meet him? Would their chance meeting at a coffeehouse happen?

Staring at Ella's eyes, she suddenly remembered the faded photo of her mother and her best friend. The similarity between Ella's eyes and Carla's best friend's eyes was strange but it was imaginable, was it?

If Ella was still alive today, she would be the same age as Carla, she thought. It was because she had Christian when she was young and Ana was born when her mother was 25 that the age difference between her and Christian was 6 years.

Ana studied Ella's picture. Could it be that she was Carla's best friend? The one who had been dead for years? And how about Christian's father who died in a plane crash? Her mother lost someone in a plane crash too, she recalled. Were they the same person? Was Robert the person Carla lost that devastated her? Did Carla know Ella and Robert?

If the answer to her every question was yes, was Christian aware of it? If he had any idea that Carla knew his parents, why didn't he say something to her mother when they met? Why didn't he tell her anything about it?

If he didn't know, should Ana tell him? Maybe he was looking for someone who knew Ella and Robert very well. Maybe Carla could tell him stories about his parents. But her father cautioned him about Carla's past.

Ana decided to weigh in the situation first before making a move. She had to be careful. Christian and Carla both had griefs from years before, she didn't want to bring them up and caused the two people she loved more hurt.

Yes, she loved Christian. They had been going out for 2 months now and Ana's feelings for him had grown. What started out as a simple attraction had turned into care and became love. It was expected and she wasn't surprise to feel that strongly for him. Christian was a wonderful man, not because he was rich and could give her any material things she wanted.

No. Ana loved him because he was him. The one who was constantly making her laugh. The one who was there to listen patiently to her incessant babbling. The one whose smile was enough to brighten her day. With Christian, she was more than just a simple woman. With him, she saw her future. In his embrace, she felt complete.

When she whirled to see him, Ana spotted a key on the ground. She went to pick it up. She knew it was Christian's, having seen it in his possession a couple of times already.

Christian turned back to her and she held out the chainless key for him.

"I saw it on the floor."

He took it from her palm and put it back in his pocket a little too quickly, she noted.

"T-Thanks. Let's go, Taylor is waiting for us at the back entrance."

:::

She was on her way back to Christian after visiting the restroom. They were about to exit the house in secret when she stopped by at the comfort room. Ana called Gail to let her know they were on their way to Escala and check on her surprise for him. The older woman eagerly assured her that everything was ready. She ended the call grateful to the housekeeper who had grown to be her friend. Without Gail's help, she didn't think she would be able to pull everything off.

She was nervous and excited. Christian was her first boyfriend and she had no idea how he was going to react to her surprise. Ana hoped he was going to be delighted.

Hurrying her stride, she was about to turn left towards the back door when she heard a voice calling her name. She whirled.

"Mrs- Elena," Ana greeted the woman who called her.

"Are you leaving already?"

"Yes. Christian and I have some place to be."

"Christian...hmmm..." Elena contemplated for a moment. "May I ask you a question?

"What is it?"

"How well do you know Christian?"

"I trust him with my life." She answered with no ounce of doubt in her heart.

"Don't you think it's too soon? To fall in love with the man you barely know? He has a reputation, Ana. Do you not care about it?"

Ana frowned, not liking her words. "I know Christian. I know him enough to give him my heart and not care about his reputation and past."

Shaking her head, Elena looked at her pitifully. "Anastasia. You're so young and naïve. Trusting the man who is bound to cause you pain."

"What are you talking about?"

Elena took out a card from her purse and offered it to her.

Hesitantly, Ana took it and saw the woman's contact numbers printed on it.

"I'm doing this because I know things that you don't. Don't you think meeting him in a coffeehouse near your college apartment is a _ccidental?_ What are the chances for someone like Christian, a busy person, who lives in Seattle would be in Vancouver that particular night, decided to stop by to grab a cup of coffee and eventually bumped into you?" The blonde woman inquired, challenging what Ana believed. "Everything with him is planned. He doesn't believe in coincidences and accidents are not in his world, Ana." She added.

"I don't understand what you're trying to say." She shook her head, confused to what she had been hearing.

"if you want to know Christian, the real him, contact me. I can show you his true color."

With that, Ana was left alone with Elena's numbers in her hand.

:::


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Christian," From the necklace in the black velvet box, she turned her eyes on the man who handed it to her.

Their escape plan had been a success, leaving the party unseen. After composing herself from the shock brought by Elena's words, she made her way back to Christian who was cluelessly waiting for her. Ana didn't believe any of the older woman's words and didn't know why she said those things to her. There were hate and bitterness behind Elena's eyes, she noticed and wondered the reason behind them. Opting to focus on tonight's surprise, she kept the card in her purse and proceeded to meet Christian.

Any lingering thoughts she had about her interaction with the older woman had vanished when they finally reached Escala. While inside the elevator, she received a text from Gail informing her that everything she requested was ready. Ana could barely contain her excitement when the elevator opened at his floor.

But the surprise was on her when as soon as they entered his place, Christian took a velvet box lying on the sofa and gave it to her.

Ana was aware that the box contained a jewelry, what she didn't know was how beautiful the necklace inside was. She was not an expert when it came to jewelry, the chain could be a platinum or white gold or silver and she wouldn't know at first glance. But the almost-an-inch length of pear shaped gemstone hanging on it was a sapphire, she was certain because it was her birthstone. The pendant was remarkable. Its cornflower blue color hinted her of its value.

"It's my birthday, Ana." He pleaded, deducing what she was going to say next. "Please take it for me."

She acquiesced and looked at the necklace once more. "It's pretty."

"Yes, it is. But it barely matches your beauty. Allow me," Carefully, he unlocked the chain from the box and stepped behind her, putting it around her neck. "I should have given it to you before we went to my parents but I left it here in a hurry."

He walked around to her front and stared at her. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" He asked while tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

Ana blushed. "I think you already said it a dozen times."

"Well, there's no harm in repeating the truth." He smiled. "You look lovely tonight, Miss Steele."

"Thank you, Mr. Grey." Her hand went to her neck and her fingers lightly grazed the pendant. "Thank you for this, Christian. But today is your birthday, I'm the one who is supposed to give you a gift."

"I told you, I don't celebrate this day. I only showed up at my party because I have to and I can't say no to Grace."

"What if I can give you a reason?"

:::

"Happy birthday, Christian."

Hearing Ana's soft voice, he felt his blindfold loosened and it was removed from his face a second after. Christian blinked, once, twice until he got reacquainted to his surroundings. Ana blindfolded him and carefully assisted him the entire way.

If it was possible for his jaw to drop, it would, seeing his bedroom. What once an almost bare space was now filled with props. There was a colorful happy birthday banner pinned to the wall. Balloons were all over the ceiling. He saw a bottle of wine and a round cake were in a tray on top of his dresser.

"You said you never liked your birthday because you can't find a reason to revel on it." Ana spoke from behind him.

With grey eyes wide in awe, Christian turned. "Ana,"

She looked nervous, he discerned from the way her fingers were twitching restlessly.

"I hope I can change your mind. You said during my interview with you that you don't have a heart. I never believed it. You've done and still doing these wonderful things to help people. You are a loving son to Carrick and Grace, a wonderful brother to Elliot and Mia, a gracious boss to your employees. You've been underestimating yourself for so long. It's time for you to realize what a beautiful person you are, not just on the outside."

Motionless on his position, Christian felt her hand grasped his and led him to the end of the bed. They sat next to each other while she fumbled the TV remote. The television was turned on.

"I hope you like it." She uttered with an anxious smile. Pressing the play button, a video started playing in the screen.

Christian saw his parents smiling at the camera.

Carrick spoke first. _"Happy birthday, son. Your mother and I, we are so proud of you, of what you have become, of what you have accomplished and will accomplish in the future. We are looking forward to seeing you be the best man you can be. Remember, I am always here for you. Happy birthday! I love you!"_

Grace was teary eyed when she started speaking softly. _"I can't forget the first time I saw an 8 year old boy with a tear-stained face and a faraway look. My heart broke watching how he was striving to understand what was going on around him. You seemed lost and lonely that time. Do you remember the very first word you uttered to me during one of our sessions?"_

"Alone." He whispered his answer instantly from his seat.

Christian would never forget the happiness in Grace's face and that tears that fell from her eyes when she heard him speak for the first time after months of silence. Every therapy he went through with her as his doctor helped him find his will to start speaking again. She was kind and very patient with him. She helped him comprehend and accept the tragedy his young life had been through.

 _"Alone."_ Grace said at the same time in the screen. " _I promised myself that moment that you will never be alone again and I will do everything in my power to help you. And I'm glad I did. You have grown to be a great man, Christian. And I'm lucky to have witnessed your journey. So many beautiful things are still bound to happen to you. I can only wish the best for you. Enjoy your life. I love you, my son!"_

Christian took a deep breath, trying to hold back his emotion. He was so lucky to have found Grace. He was grateful that she and Carrick chose him to be one of their children. Without them, he couldn't imagine what his future would be like.

He heard sniffling on his side and saw Ana brushing her tears away.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it." She mumbled.

"It's okay." He took her hand and pressed a kiss on it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They both returned their attention on the TV. The video changed. This time it was Elliot and Mia in the screen. Christian shook his head and smiled, already aware how their message was going to play out.

 _"Hey li'l bro!"_ Elliot greeted with a wide grin, his arm was casually draped on Mia's shoulder, who was smiling brightly. _"28, huh? We're getting old, aren't we? Do you recall when I caught you and this cheerleader chi- Ouch!"_ He yelped when Mia elbowed him.

The youngest Grey shook her head disappointedly. _"You are such a jerk! I'm sorry, Ana."_

Ana's laughing voice could be heard with them. _"Don't worry about it."_

"That guy is really stupid." He commented, a playful smile on his lips.

 _"Hey, I'm not yet finished."_ Elliot argued to his sister. _"All I'm saying is, I saw you in your best and I've watched you in your worst. I couldn't wish for a better younger brother because I already have the best. Happy birthday bro! My wish for you is to take care of your treasure, not the material things you have in your life but the little priceless moments you're sharing with your loved ones. Love yah."_

 _"It's my turn."_ Mia uttered. _"I didn't know Elliot could speak with sense."_ She teased her oldest brother who playfully tugged her hair in retaliation. Mia laughed.

Christian could see the joy in both of his siblings' faces. The two's interactions had always been like that.

 _"Anyway, of all the things you did for me, I realized, I've never thanked you enough for them. You've always been there for me. You taught me how to ride a bike. You and Elliot punched the boy in school who took my lunch box. You threatened to castrate the guy who took me to prom. You almost put my first boyfriend to hospital after I came crying home when I saw him cheating on me. And up to now, you're still taking care of me. And I'm so grateful for everything, Chris. You and Elliot have always been the best big brothers anyone could ever wish for. And I'm so lucky because I have you guys. Happiest birthday, Chris. May all your wishes come true because you deserve them. I love you."_ Mia spoke in tears.

The video continued. This time it was Taylor, Gail and Sawyer who came into the view.

Taylor muttered his greeting first. Sticking to his no nonsense persona, his words were short and precise but anyone could see the sincerity in them.

Sawyer came next. Just like the older man, Sawyer was as stiff as a board. Christian wondered if the younger man idolized Taylor, noticing how they looked almost identical.

Gail's greeting was a total opposite of the two men. Her smile was constant throughout her speech, thanking him for his generosity and wishing him a happy birthday.

Christian recognized the background in the next part of the video. It was taken at his headquarter. Ros, his Vice President and also a good friend, led Grey Enterprises Holdings' employees in their greetings.

 _"Happy birthday Mr. Grey!"_ They all shouted in the screen.

The next part of Ana's surprise almost broke him in tears. Children of all ages came into the view. He recognized many of them. The boys and girls were from the different orphanages he, personally, had been sponsoring for years. Like the children in the screen, Christian was an orphan and he made it his mission to help boys and girls like him to have a chance to live a better life. He knew it was rare that an orphan would be as lucky as he was and get adopted by families like the Greys so he tried to do as much as he could for them.

 _"Thank you very much, Mr. Grey! Happy birthday! We love you!"_ They all yelled in unison.

Christian stilled to see Ana in the screen, looking shyly at the camera.

 _"I hope you enjoyed your surprise."_ She began. _"You are a wonderful person, Christian. You've been telling yourself that you are not but you are. Ask your parents, your brother and sister. Ask everyone who knows you and they will tell you how grateful they are because they have you. Ask me and I'll tell you that even if we haven't known each other that long, I know that behind your serious façade is a man worth loving. We love you. I-I love you."_

The video ended with him still looking at the TV, stunned at her last sentence.

"I love you, Christian." She muttered quietly from his side.

He turned to her.

"I don't know when it began but I know why. I love you because you are you. You are simply you. And that's more than enough for me to fall for you."

 _She loves him?_ He asked himself in disbelief.

In an instant, his arms were wrapped around her and his lips were on hers. Christian kissed her like a starving man, like she was his only source of energy. And she returned his kiss just as passionately. They parted to take in a much needed breath.

His words came out naturally. "I love you, Ana. I love you so much. You don't know how much." He panted, his forehead was against hers.

"Show me."

Knowing what she was asking of him, he pulled himself away a little to look at her.

 _Is she serious? Does she realize the gravity of what's going to happen next?_

In her eyes, Christian found his answers. Gone was the nervousness she had from moments ago. The uncertainty in her face had disappeared. The Anastasia who was staring back at him was a woman who knew what she wanted. She was aware of how everything was going to change after.

"Show me how much you love me, Christian."

Before he could react, she raised a hand to the back of his head and pulled him to her, capturing his lips with hers, wordlessly letting him know that she was sure and there was no turning back for her.

:::

He was gazing at the woman whose head was lying comfortably on his chest and her arm was wrapped around his upper body. He was looking at her sleeping face, his fingers were busy running gently through her hair. Ana still looked like an angel even if her eyes were closed, he smiled at what he noticed. She was his very own angel, the one who brought him to living.

He woke up minutes ago with a smile on his lips. Last night ended more than perfectly. What happened was unexpected but Christian wouldn't have it any other way. He loved her. He didn't realize he was capable of that emotion until she came into his life. For years, he thought all he was, was a man of hatred and vengeance. But Ana proved him wrong. He had a heart and it had fallen for her.

For the first time in his life, Christian was in love. An innocent blue eyed woman unknowingly made him change his beliefs. She didn't know her effect on him. She had no idea that she turned him from a cold and vindictive man into a guy who would do anything for her because he loved her.

Ana shifted slowly and began fluttering her eyes open. Her sight caught him and Christian felt his heart skipped a beat when she smiled brightly at him.

"Good morning." She greeted him.

Before he could stop himself, he kissed her on the lips. "Good morning. How are you?" He asked in concern.

"I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

She laughed. "I'm fine, Christian. What time is it?"

"I don't know. 5 maybe." He answered heedlessly.

She sat up, wrapping the blanket over her bare chest. "I have to go home and be at work by 8."

"Can you excuse yourself today? I'm thinking of you and me in this room for the next 10 hours or 15."

"As much as I love to spend this day with you, I'm needed at the office."

Christian frowned. "Can they hire another PA?"

"And let go of me? I need this job. I have bills to pay, you know. C'mon, let's move. You can drive me back to my apartment."

"How about my 'you and me in this room for 15 hours'?"

"We'll do that on Saturday. For now, I have to shower."

With a playful smirk, she removed the blanket covering her nakedness and slowly sauntered over to the bathroom suite.

Christian's eyes widened seeing her unclad body on the way to the bathroom. He had seen her naked last night but the bright morning rays of the sun showed him Ana's flawless and lithe form.

She paused when she was almost at the door. She had a knowing smile spread across her face, as if aware he was gazing at her. With one eyebrow arched, she pouted. "Are you just gonna lie there and gawk at me?"

He didn't need to be asked twice. Christian was with her in an instant.

:::

Their 'him and her in his bedroom for 15 hours' didn't happen on Saturday and the next couple of Saturdays too, much to Christian's chagrin. He had been busy with his work and was compelled to spend the following weekends in Japan for some new venture his company was planning on. Everytime he had to go overseas, he wanted her to join him but Ana was occupied with her own job and couldn't make it. They settled themselves with trading messages, phone and video calls.

It had been almost a month since Ana gave her virginity to him. It was one of the surest things she did and she had no regrets. Christian had been a gentle and patient lover, murmuring words of affection into her ear as they became one for the very first time. What happened that night surpassed her every expectation of how it would go. It was a dream come true for her. And every time they made love after couldn't be more perfect.

She sighed, yearning for her boyfriend. Ana was getting used to being with him that she started longing for him whenever he was not around. It was a Saturday and Christian was in Japan again. It had been the fourth time in a row which meant he wouldn't be back until Monday morning. His parents had been missing them in their family dinner, Grace phoned her yesterday. Ana assured the older woman that she and Christian were missing her specialty dishes too.

To stop herself from missing Christian, Ana decided to do some reading. There was an amateur writer that Jack wanted to sign up for SIP. He tasked her to review the writer's works and discuss with him her assessment. Since she didn't have any plan that weekend, she took the manuscript with her last night.

Ana was rummaging around her room searching for her iPod when Kate knocked on her door.

"It's open." She yelled.

Her best friend appeared in the doorway. Seeing how she wasn't dressed up, Kate asked. "Won't Christian be coming?"

"No, he left for Japan this morning." She answered, eyes on her drawer.

"So you'll be here the whole day? Why don't you come with me? I'm having lunch with my parents."

"I think I'll pass. I have to read a book. My boss will ask me about it on Monday. If only I can find my IPod, I'll be starting already." She answered.

"I have your iPod in my room. I borrowed it last week. You don't remember?"

"I bet you asked me for it while I was asleep?" Ana rolled her eyes, Kate had a habit of popping questions while she was in deep slumber.

"Yes and your snore sounded like a yes so I took it." Laughing, the blonde woman retorted.

"I do not snore!" Ana flung one of her pillows towards her chuckling best friend who caught it before it hit her face and threw it back at her.

"You do and it's so loud I wonder how Christian can sleep beside you." Kate winked at her. "I bet sleeping is not in his agenda whenever you two are together, am I right?"

Ana blushed. "You are a terrible best friend! I guess I shouldn't tell you what Elliot said to me about you." She smirked and quickly exited her room to go to Kate's.

Just like she predicted, Kate was behind her in an instant. Ana pretended to ignore her and went on searching for her missing gadget.

Going on with her matchmaking mission, she set the two up on a blind date last night. Elliot and Kate had a dinner at one of the Italian restaurants in the city Ana reserved for them.

"Did he say something about me? He hasn't called yet. I assumed he is not interested." Kate's voice hinted disappointment.

Taking a pity on her, Ana answered her. "Well, you assumed wrong. He likes you and thinks you are a great woman, he told me last night. He is planning on calling you today to invite you for another dinner."

Kate's face lit up with glee. "Really? Maybe I should charge my phone before I leave..."

Ana tuned out her best friend's excited rambling and proceeded in looking for her IPod. She opened one of Kate's drawers and paused. Picking up the pictures, confusion flooded her. The pictures were random images of her and Kate from before. One by one, she studied them and felt her heart constricted in her chest.

The oldest photo was taken when she and her best friend were eating at a diner near WSU a year ago, Ana could tell from the different shade of Kate's hair. The blonde woman opted to color her mane a little darker that time. The newest of the pictures was shot seven months ago at the university park. She and Kate posed for the camera while studying for their exams.

"Ana?"

Ana whirled around and held out the photos in her hand. Color drained from Kate's face upon seeing what she was holding out.

"W-What are these?"

She wasn't asking about the pictures, her question was about the man common in each and every photographs of them. Why was Sawyer present in all of them? Even in the photo from one year ago. Ana didn't know him back then.

"I don't know." Kate took the images from her and sat on the side of the bed. "A month ago, I was browsing through my phone, cleaning it from redundant and useless pictures when I saw this." She showed her the newest photo. "I spotted him and wondered why was he there. Then I remembered that over the past year I think I saw him once or twice. I started searching for pictures with him in the background and I came upon with these. The oldest I got was last year. I have everything printed out to confirm if it is really him."

"It's him." Ana was sure.

Kate nodded. "Why was he in all your pictures, Ana?"

Ana wanted to know too. It wasn't Kate who was present in all those photos, it was her.

"Is he stalking you?" Kate asked when she didn't reply.

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Do you think Christian knows about his man following you?"

"I think it's his command." Sawyer was loyal to his boss and Christian had already mentioned that the bodyguard had been around for a while and she wasn't told about it.

"Why?"

"I don't know but I intend to find out." Ana had a sinking feeling that she wasn't going to like the things she was about to learn.

:::

Alone in her room, she flipped the book close and placed it on her nightstand, giving up in her tries to read it. Ana couldn't concentrate. Her mind was on the pictures with Sawyer in them. Kate had left an hour ago to meet her parents. She had to assure her friend that she was alright. But she wasn't.

She trusted Christian. There was no question about it. But this was not the first time she discovered that he had been keeping things from her. Ana tried to dismiss her doubt, wanting to hold on to his words. But her instinct was telling her to uncover whatever it was he was hiding.

She didn't know if what she was planning to do was right. But she remembered the person who probably had the answers to her questions. Ana took out a card from her wallet and stared at the name and contact numbers printed on it.

:::


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Do you recognize it?" Elena inquired warily.

Ana's eyes were focused on the key sitting atop the table. She knew it was Christian's, presumably a duplicate of his.

"That holds the answers to all your questions, Ana."

She looked up and stared at the older woman. There was something about Elena that was making her doubtful of her.

When Ana called her the other day, she was surprised to learn that Elena was aware that she had a bodyguard. The older woman instructed her to lose Sawyer so they could talk without Christian's knowledge.

Ana decided to meet her in a coffee shop a few blocks from SIP on Monday, thinking it was going to be easy for her to slip away from her bodyguard if she was at work. There was a back door where she could use to exit the building without Sawyer realizing. Elena agreed to her plan.

Monday came and Ana successfully left SIP without her bodyguard's knowledge. The man was probably flirting with the front desk employee, unaware to her whereabouts. She arrived at the coffe shop and texted the older woman where she was sitting. Ana chose a table at the back of the room for privacy. Elena came minutes later and sat opposite hers.

Ana watched as she brought out a key and placed it in her front.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked.

A sad smile spread across the older woman's lips. "Because I pity you. You are so trusting."

"No, you don't. You don't pity me." Ana gave a deadpan look.

Elena's sad smile turned into a sly one. "Maybe I don't." She shrugged, not really caring that she was caught. "I have my reasons. Let's say I want to prove something to someone."

"Christian."

"And here I thought you are gullible. Christian and I, we have history. It's more than what you two share. I know him, not the man he is making you believe he is but the real him. The things he is capable of, the vile emotion hidden inside of him, I know it all. I know him to his very soul."

Ana was not that innocent. Hearing how the older woman spoke about Christian confirmed her suspicion and explained the hatred behind Elena's eyes. She felt sick imagining the past the two had. As far as she knew, Elena was a married woman and one of Grace's friends.

"You may know him from before but people change. You don't know who Christian is now. And you never know his heart." Dismissing the pain in her own heart, she tried to argue.

Her statements only had Elena chuckled dryly. "He doesn't have a heart. He wanted you to think that he has because gaining your trust is part of his plan."

"Plan?"

"I told you before, everything with him is planned." Elena gazed at the key. "You've already been to his place. I'm sure you noticed a locked room beside his bedroom. Use that key to enter and you'll find what you're searching for."

Ana tried to hide her anxiousness. The answers to her questions were in Christian's penthouse and that key would give her access to them. Having been at Escala countless of times already, she had grown familiar to every nook of his apartment and was aware what room Elena was talking about.

There was a locked room just beside Christian's bedroom. When he toured her at his place for the first time, they only passed by that room and didn't enter. She didn't give much of a thought about it and deduced that it was only a stockroom.

Elena's knowledge of Christian's life added to the ache she was feeling. She knew her boyfriend had a past, something Ana had learned to accept. She was aware that he was not perfect but fell for him anyway.

But what if the things he was hiding from her would make her question their relationship? Could she still do it? Could she still unfold the truth?

Ana loved him and she believed he loved her too. Her heart wanted her to continue trusting Christian but her mind needed answers.

Sensing she was having second thoughts, Elena uttered. "You are not an easy person to fool as I first presumed you are. But your feelings for him are clouding your judgement. You know that key is the only way you'll learn the truth. Don't let him think he has you in his palm."

"Like what happened to you, Elena? Did you fall hard for him but felt betrayed when he didn't catch you?" Ana dismissed Elena's deathly glare and continued. "You hate Christian because like the women who came before and after you, you fell in love with him. And like them, the moment you admit your feelings, he bid you goodbye and doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. I don't envy the 'history' you two 'shared'. You may know everything about him, his plan for me, his real thoughts, but you are not someone special for him like you want yourself to believe. You are just like those other women, the ones he has easily forgotten. You meant nothing to him."

Ana stood up, placed some bills on the table and grabbed the key. "I'll take this because I deserve answers and not because I want to be use as a pawn in your game with him." She started to walk away but stopped before she got far. She looked at her over her shoulder. "Can I give you some advice? Forget Christian, you don't want to lose the convenient life your dear husband has been providing you for years."

Holding the key tightly in her palm, she exited the coffeehouse and didn't dare to look back. The tears that had been threatening to spill from her eyes dropped one by one as soon as she stepped out of the coffee shop. She never stopped walking until she reached an empty alley. With her back leaning against the wall, Ana cried.

She was scared. She was brave, she initially thought.

When she was five, her father taught her how to ride a bike. It didn't take long when she decided to ride it alone. She fell on the first try and had scratches on her knees. She didn't cry. Her scraped knees hurt but she didn't cry because she told herself she was brave.

When she was 15, she stole her mother's car key and drove by herself. The car collided onto a post and its bumper was wrecked. She suffered a bumped on her forehead and had to face the wrath of her parents when they were called by the inverstigating police officer. She was grounded for a month and was forced to miss the school's field trip as her punishments. Ana was saddened. Her forehead hurt and her parents were mad and disappointed with her. But she didn't cry because she was brave.

But right now, just the mere thought of being lied to by the first man she fell in love with had her crying. She wanted to be brave but she was afraid. Ana was scared of what was lying behind the locked door. She was scared to know what his plan was all about.

:::

"Mr. Grey,"

A gentle shake to his shoulder awakened Christian from his nap. His eyes opened to Nikki, his stewardess, giving him an apologetic smile.

"We're about to land, Mr. Grey." Nikki announced.

He only nodded, already aware of the drill. Glancing at the window, he saw they were about to bank on the runway of Boeing Field. Christian moved his seat upright and put on his seatbelt. He waited until they land before releasing a sigh. The almost 12-hour flight from Tokyo was finally over.

He loved flying and even studied to become a qualified pilot. He had a glider, a helicopter and the one he was in right now was his private jet.

Christian didn't mind being a businessman either. He was great with deals and acquisitions. The success of Grey Enterprises Holdings was an evidence of how good he was.

Flying and business sometimes came hand in hand and he had no complains about it. Until now. He had been in Japan for the past four consecutive weekends, leaving Seattle early morning on a Saturday and returning home Monday afternoon.

Before, he was okay with it. All he cared about were the new ventures his business was undertaking and its added effect on his investments. If he had to fly to Europe everyday he would and you wouldn't hear a thing from him.

But this time he hated to leave Seattle because leaving his home meant leaving Ana. Lately, being away from her was making him question what his goals in his life were. Was wealth really important to him? Or having time to spend with his loved one mattered more? How much money did he need to have to be satisfied? Were the days and nights he had to sleep alone in some hotel room worth it?

He loved Ana. He wanted to sleep with her in his arms every night and wake up to her lovely face each morning. Yes. A man who didn't believe in relationships and commitments was now looking forward to spending as much time as he could with a woman. And she was not just a woman. She was Ana. The only woman who made him realize that there were more to life than richness and power. She taught him to appreciate his real wealth, not the digits on his bank accounts nor the numerous properties in his possession but the invaluable treasures he had. The family, relatives and friends who had always been there for him. They were his true fortune, according to her.

:::

"Sir, Miss Steele has arrived at Escala five minutes ago." Taylor informed him from the driver seat as soon as he was seated at the back.

Taylor had come to collect him at the airport and drove him home. In 15 minutes he would be arriving at Escala. His plan was to take a rest for a while before picking Ana up at SIP by 5.

Glancing at his wristwatch, he noted of the time. It was only 4 in the afternoon. "She left work early." He commented. Christian took out his phone and dialed her number. His call went unanswered. "Is she alright?"

"Sawyer said, she is fine but has a headache. She asked to be brought at your place." The older man responded.

"Maybe she fell asleep." Christian guessed and forego calling her.

He took out a ring box from his pocket and opened it. Gazing at the couple ring on display, he smiled at how he came across the jewelry. Yesterday, he was roaming the streets of Tokyo when a small jewelry shop caught his attention. Christian decided to enter the shop and was welcomed by an old man. He looked at him and smiled. Struggling with the English language, the Japanese introduced himself as Hideshi Tamura, the owner of the shop. Hideshi asked if he was looking for an engagement ring to give to his special someone.

The idea of giving Ana an engagement ring had already entered his mind more than a few times but he dismissed the thought every time. There was nothing more he wanted than ask her to marry him but Christian needed to come clean with her first. Ana deserved his honesty, the truth in everything. He just didn't know how she would take his confession. He would beg for her mercy a thousand times if it would make her forgive him.

Deceiving her was wrong. Attempting to use her to exact revenge on her mother was wrong. Christian knew his mistakes and was regretting his actions towards her. He was willing to atone for his faults. He would do anything Ana would ask him to just for her to forgive him and him not to lose her.

He was still thinking about her when an unfamiliar rings caught his sight. Christian moved closely towards them and stared at them. It was a pair of couple ring. They appeared to be created out of silver but what made them unique was a red string tied to the middle of the identical simple bands. He had not seen anything like them before. They were unusual but beautiful.

Following his gaze, Hideshi smiled brightly. The old man called them 'Red Thread of Fate' couple ring.

Christian remembered how Hideshi explained the myth behind the jewelry.

 _"Legend says that an invisible red string was tied around the little finger of the lovers who are fated to meet. These two destined people are connected regardless of place, time and circumstances. The magical cord joining them may stretch or tangle but will never break. That is my inspiration when I created these rings. These are meant to be worn by that lovers. The rings are yours, Mr. Grey. I can tell you already found the person you are fated to be with."_

Christian left the shop with the couple ring in his pocket and Ana in his thoughts.

He never believed in destiny but the thought of Ana as the other person at the end of his red string had him trust that no matter what happened, they were fated to be together in the end. He would hold onto that belief because tonight, Christian was going to tell Ana everything.

:::

Ana was fidgety on her seat on the breakfast stool. She arrived at his penthouse five minutes ago and had been counting the seconds since then. Any minute Christian would be home and she still had not use the key Elena gave her. She left SIP an hour early because she couldn't concentrate with her job. Her mind was occupied with what could be lying behind Christian's locked door.

"Are you okay?" Gail asked her, concerned at her behavior.

Ana tried to appease her with a smile. "Y-Yes. I think I'll go upstairs for a while."

"Sure. Do you want me to bring you medicine for your headache?"

She removed herself from the chair. "There's no need. I'll sleep on it. Hopefully it will be gone by the time Christian arrives. Thanks for everything, Gail."

Ana strode towards the stairs, her legs were shaky with anxiousness. Reaching the outside of the door, her cold fingers dug out the key from her pocket. With bated breath, she used it to unlock the door. She grabbed the knob and twisted it open.

Almost in slow motion, she stepped inside, found the switch and flipped it open. Light flooded the room and Ana was greeted by an ordinary looking office. There were a desk, a chair and file cabinets inside. She jolted when she heard her cellphone rang and saw Christian calling her. She ignored his call and put the phone on vibrate.

Roaming her eyes around, she spotted Jose's photograph of her, the one she gifted Christian months ago, hanging on the wall. Ana felt a little relieved when she didn't notice anything strange immediately. Maybe Elena was lying, she thought.

Stepping closer to the desk, she decided to open one of the drawers. Ana saw a thick folder in it. She grabbed it and placed it atop of the desk. She opened the folder and felt her breath left her body. A picture of her walking inside WSU during her first day as a freshman greeted her. She flipped it over to get to the next content. A copy of her birth certificate followed. Scanning through the pages, Ana was baffled. They were pages and pages of collected information about her. She saw copies of her school report cards, diplomas and certificates, dental and medical records from birth to present, bank account details and reports written by the person who apparently had been following her for years.

Wide-eyed, she pulled away from the desk and frantically scanned the room, looking from side to side, not really knowing what to do next. Ana walked towards the file cabinets and pulled one layer open. She took a handful of manila envelopes. One by one she untied them. Each envelope contained numerous photos of her with Kate or Jose. There were also pictures of Carla and Ray. The images were clearly taken without their knowledge.

She unceremoniously dropped them to the ground and hurriedly went to open the second layer. Grabbing the folders she saw inside, Ana set them above the desk, over to her opened dossier. Just like her folder, the ones she took from the cabinet held detailed information about the people close to her, her family and friends.

Ana raked an unsteady hand through her hair and took deep breaths in an attempt to gather herself. But no matter how many inhales and exhales she made, she couldn't stop fretting. She was already hanging by a thread. She felt herself beginning to break down, wondering what was going on. Her mind was swimming with questions. Her heart ached with deceit.

She glanced at the still unopened third layer of the cabinet and absentmindedly started to walk towards it when she stumbled upon a small remote on the floor. Ana accidentally stepped on the button and started hearing a noise. She looked around searching where the sound was coming from. An image began rolling down on one side of the wall. Her shoulders fell and tears started gathering behind her eyes, recognizing who the person on the canvass was. It was her in her high school graduation picture, shot from four years ago.

"A-Ana,"

:::

As soon as Taylor pulled over at the parking of Escala, Christian climbed out of the vehicle and strode towards the elevator. He was in a hurry, wanting to see Ana the soonest. He rode the elevator and seconds later was welcomed by Gail.

"Where's Ana?" He felt bad for dismissing his housekeeper's greeting.

"She's asleep upstairs." Gail replied, an understanding smile on her lips.

"Thank you." Without added words, Christian took the stairs.

He reached the second floor of his penthouse and instantly felt dread spread through him. The door of his secret room was open. Which meant-

He ran hurriedly towards the room and spotted Ana standing next to his desk, tears streaming down her face. "A-Ana,"

"W-Who are you?" She asked him quietly.

He wanted to close their distance by taking a step towards her but when he did, she took a step back. Ana shook her head, gesturing him not to move near her. Christian stopped. He roamed his eyes around and noticed the mess. Files were scattered over the desk and photos were on the floor. He didn't need to confirm his suspicion. Seeing the dossiers and images, he already discerned what happened.

 _She knows._

"Who are you?!" She yelled when he didn't answer, her face was begging for his reply.

"L-Let me explain. I am... I am Christian Andrew Dawson. My parents were Robert Henders and Ella Dawson. I was born in Detroit and was left as an orphan by the age of 8 when my mother killed herself. My father died in a plane accident before I was born." He started.

Christian was aware this moment would come. He just didn't expect Ana would find out before he could tell her himself.

Staring at her teary eyes, he continued. "I... I grew up to my mother's tears. Ella was not the typical mother. She... She wasn't normal. She was always sad and would sometimes cry for hours. But she loved me. When she was in a good mood, she would tell me stories about my father. She said that Robert loved us very much and that he couldn't wait for my birth and was looking forward to marrying her."

"You see, we were supposed to have a complete and happy family. I wasn't supposed to grow up worrying for my mother. I wasn't supposed to witness her grief. But I did. I grew up with Ella's tear-stained face and to the sound of her weeping. I grew up and one day found her dead body on the floor because apparently living had already been too much for her. You want to know why she was like that, Ana? Do you want to know who drove her to despair?"

"W-Who?"

"Your mother."

Ana's face paled and her blue eyes widened. She shook her head in disbelief. "N-No."

Christian confirmed. "Yes. Carla Wilks destroyed my chance to have a complete family. She seduced Robert and betrayed Ella. She moved to Montesano but forced Robert to follow her. But my father loved us so he decided to return to us. But he didn't make it. He died on his way to see us again. My mother was left broken-hearted, I am left without a father."

"T-That's not true." She whispered. "My mother would never do what you said." Carla would never betray her best friend and would never seduce a man. Her mother wasn't capable of doing such despicable things. Christian was wrong.

"But she did. I was stupid and an idiot when I said to myself that one day, she will need to experience the suffering my mother endured. I was clueless to what will happen when I vowed that Carla will know what it feels like to helplessly watch your loved one in pain like what I had to do. I didn't know that I will forever regret that promise because I didn't expect to fall in love with you."

"Your plan..." Ana remembered Elena's mention of his plan and had everything linked together. Realization dawned on her and new sets of tears flowed from her eyes. She could feel her heart shattering at the truth. "Y-Your plan is to use me to hurt my mother."

She didn't need him to answer her but the look of admission on his face showed his unspoken response.

Crying, she dared ask him. "What did you plan to do, Christian? Charm me with your looks? Earn my trust? Make me fall for you? And then what? Abandon me? Tell straight to my face that you've been lying all along? That none of the words you said, none of the actions you showed were real? You wanted to see me cry? See me hurting? You wanted to break my heart? Are those what you have in your mind all this time?"

Christian's heart broke seeing the pain and anger in her eyes. He wanted to reach for her, pull her in his embrace and wipe her tears away. "Ana,"

Grasping the reality, she mumbled in a weak voice. "That night...at the coffeehouse... You knew I'd be there...you set our first meeting out. We didn't meet accidentally. It was part of your scheme."

He enclosed his arms around her shaking form and hugged her as tight as he could. "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Our first meeting is my doing but we belong together, Ana. We are meant to be together. You and me. Christian and Anastasia. We are destined to meet one way or another, I believe that."

"E-Everything is a lie." She whispered in his embrace.

"No! I love you. I admit, my plan was to have you fall in love with me but the moment I saw you, I felt different. And as we got to spend time together, my feelings for you grew. I didn't mean to fall for you but I did. You changed me. You made me see things differently. I never thought I'd find myself allowing a woman into my life but I did. I brought you to this place, where no other women had ever been in. I introduced you to my family. It's a first and only for me, Ana. I never let my parents meet any of the women I've been with. But I did with you. Because what we have is different. Because what we have is love."

She pried herself off of him. "What we have is a lie, Christian. All you cared about was your plan. You stalked me for years. You delved into my history and the people that matter to me. You did those things for your mission because you want to succeed. Your goal is to win. Well, congratulations, Mr. Grey! You want to see me broken? Here I am." She held her arms open. Ana saw him turned his gaze away. "Look at me!" She commanded in a hard tone.

Reluctantly, Christian returned his eyes on her.

"This is what you wanted, right? I'm in pain. My heart is broken. Your plan is a success. You should be dancing with joy." She spoke in tears.

"I don't care about my stupid plan! I was wrong to even think about using you. I'm sorry, Ana. I'm sorry. Forgive me. Please." Once again, he had her wrapped around his arms. Christian closed his eyes and tried not to let his tears fall. But they did.

Together, they cried their hearts out. One was from the pain of being deceived by the man she loved. The other was from seeing the woman he loved broken because of him.

"I-I have to go." She said after a while as she started to remove herself in his embrace. "I need to go."

Christian tightened his hold on her. "No. Don't go, please. I'm sorry. Tell me what to do to make everything alright. Please. I love you, Ana. Don't go."

After several attempts, she successfully pulled herself away from him. Shaking her head, she wiped her tears off of her face. The next words Ana spoke were uttered with indifference. "I have to leave. I don't want to see Sawyer or any of your men following me again. Take your car in my garage, I'm taking back Wanda."

Christian froze and his eyes were suddenly filled with fear. "A-Ana,"

"There's no reason for us to see each other again, Christian. You already got what you wanted." Ana turned around and walked away.

:::


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

She knocked on the door a couple of times before pushing it open. "Mr. Hyde?"

From his desk, Jack's gaze turned from the document he was perusing to her. He smiled upon seeing her. "Miss Steele, come in and have a seat."

Ana walked over to one of the chairs in front of his table and sat. "You called for me?"

He nodded. "Yes. How are you? Are you feeling well now?"

She was startled at the concern in his voice but hid it with a small smile. "Yes, the 3-day rest helped me a lot. I'm alright now. Thank you for letting me take a leave. I hope my absence didn't cause you any delay in your work."

Jack shook his head. "It's alright, I was able to manage everything but your attendance is highly missed by everyone. Anyway, I called you here because there's going to be a book expo in New York next weekend. I'm invited to attend and your presence as my assistant is also expected. I want you to book our flights and our rooms. We have to leave by Friday morning and be back on Sunday evening."

She quietly took in his words and nodded her understanding when he finished. "I got it."

"Good."

Silence fell between them and Ana suddenly felt uncomfortable from the way he was studying her. She started twisting on her seat.

"Uhm... Is there anything I can help you more, sir?"

"Actually, there is." He looked hesitant for a moment. "I'd like to apologize for judging you. Even from the start, you are one of the best assistants I've had. I overlooked that and condemned your character because of your personal life which should not matter. I'm sorry, Miss Steele. You are an asset to this company and we are lucky to have you here." Jack uttered.

Fluttered at his statement, she was speechless for a moment. Ana cleared her throat. "Thank you and I accept your apology. I love working here and I'm honored to be part of SIP."

Jack's face brightened. He stood up and she followed. He offered his hand to her and Ana accepted it.

"I'm glad we got everything settled. To a new start." He said.

Ana acknowledged his words with a sincere smile. "To a new start."

:::

Ana breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted a vacant spot for Wanda. Maneuvering the wheel, she parked her car and turned the engine off. She climbed out and proceeded to cross the street, reaching Alki Beach Park. Removing her shoes, she slowly paced towards the shore on barefoot.

It was almost 6 in the evening and the sun was still about to set. With her heels in her hand, Ana strolled along the beach, ignoring the cold air hitting her face and body. She spotted a few people walking in the long pathway. There were others who were happily playing in the sand. Some were riding their bicycles.

Tears stubbornly escaped her eyes, remembering how she ended up in that place four nights ago.

:::

 _Four nights ago_

 _With her eyes clouded with tears, her knuckles white from tightly gripping the wheel and her shoulders shaking as she cried, Ana was about to exit the basement parking of Escala. She heard Christian shouting her name as she drove away. She made a mistake of glancing back at him in her rear view mirror. If it was possible for her heart to shatter more, it would, seeing him on his knees, repeatedly calling for her. She saw Gail, Taylor and Sawyer were standing behind him, all seemed lost from what they were witnessing. Forcing herself to look away, she focused her eyes on the road, having no idea where to go or what to do next._

 _An hour later, Ana found herself slumped on the sand of Alki Beach with swollen eyes, red nose, dry throat and trembling body. Tears were flowing down her cheeks endlessly. Careless to the curious stares being thrown at her by the passersby_ _, she let out her sobs. She raised a clenched fist and beat her chest with it several times, attempting to remove the pain from her heart._

 _"It hurts...go away...p-please go away..." She murmered to herself as she hit her chest._

 _When the ache wouldn't leave, she gave up, dropped her hand and wept silently._

 _It was only when a beach patrol officer approached her, informing her that the park was about to close, that she moved again. It was almost midnight and she had been crying for hours. With the officer's help, Ana had managed to reach her car. She slowly drove herself home and was thankful that Kate was in a convention in California and wouldn't be back until Saturday. She had the apartment to herself and wouldn't need to face her best friend's interrogation she knew would come if the blonde woman saw her appearance._

 _Tired and weary from today's events, she fell asleep as soon as her body crashed on the bed._

 _The next morning she called in sick for work and spent the entire day in bed. When the night time came, Ana drove back to the beach and just like the night before, she sat on the sand, let her tears fall for hours and only moved when the park was due to close._

 _And for the next two days, Ana did the same._

 _Friday came and she woke up with the same pain in her heart but she knew she couldn't continue being absent at work. She had bills to pay and living to make so she forced herself to get ready and finally showed up at SIP._

:::

Ana stopped her walk when she reached her spot, the place where she had been sitting for the past four nights. She plopped her body on the sand and watched the waves approach the shore. The crashing sound of the water was like music to her ears. The smell of the ocean brought her peace if only for a moment.

When she felt wetness against her cheeks did she realize that she was crying again. She did not bother wiping them off, discerning more were about to come. Ana was in pain. She was hurting. Her heart was broken. But despite her misery, she was missing him.

A vase of flowers was sent to her every morning for the past four days with a note of apology and regret but she refused to accept them and had them return to its sender everytime. He had been trying to contact her through text messages, phone calls and emails but Ana ignored it all. He even tried seeing her in her apartment but she never let him in. It was a good thing he had not shown up at her work yet. She didn't know if she could avoid seeing him there since SIP belonged to him.

Christian should be celebrating, she thought. His lies and deceits worked, she trusted him. His plan was successful, she fell in love with him. He won, she lost her heart.

But why would not he let her go? Why did he have to send flowers, try to contact her and strive to see her? What more did he want from her?

Christian got what he wanted and she hated herself for letting him. She was so laughable for thinking a man like him would waste his time on her. It was ludicrous how she even thought that he could be the one for her. Ana blamed her _foolish heart_ for falling in love with him. Because everything that had happened between them was a lie. Because his words and actions were just part of his plan.

 _So, this is what heart breaking feels like._ She chuckled dryly, trying to find the humor in her situation.

She knew love was a gamble. You had to take a risk without knowing if you were going to win in the end and what you could only do was hope. Ana took the shot and waged her heart. She failed and lost. Now, she was broken-hearted and alone. What were left with her were memories of what she thought was love and the agony that came after when she learned that it wasn't but only part of a man's plot for revenge.

:::

"Have you been eating well? You look thin." Carla questioned her daughter.

Ana glanced at her and forced a smile on her lips. "I'm alright, mom. I'm just busy with work."

"You are young. You should be enjoying and not tiring yourself." Ray adviced from his chair, his mouth was full of meatloaf Carla cooked for her daughter.

Ana arrived at her parents' home that Saturday afternoon, being true to her promise that she would visit them that weekend.

She missed them. Whenever she wasn't feeling well, her mom would make her famous chicken noodle soup and would feed her a bowl while her dad would promise to bring her to his next fishing trip if she took her medicines obediently. If only a bowl of soup and a fishing trip could cure her grief that moment, Ana would be delighted. But that would be impossible, not even a pint of Ben and Jerry's had her forgotten Christian and what happened between them.

"How's Christian?" Ray asked, oblivious to the recent change in the status of her relationship with the man.

Her face might have shown her pain because Carla immediately called on it.

"What is it?" Her mother's voice was filled with worry.

Ana held back the tears in her eyes. She had already been crying for days yet she still had tears left to shed. "I-I'm sorry." She put her utensils down and roused from the chair. She left the dining table and darted to her room, leaving her startled parents on the table.

Lying with her side on the bed, Ana let her cry out. This was the first time someone asked her about Christian and she didn't know how to respond. Should she tell them that they had broken up? And if they asked why? Should she tell them that he only came into her life and pretended to love her because he had a vendetta against her mother? Those were the truth and she was beginning to accept them. But her admission didn't make things easier. It didn't numb her from the pain. Her heart was still broken. And Christian's betrayal still lingered in her mind.

She heard a gentle knock on the door and it was followed by Carla's soft voice calling her. Her mother's footsteps reached her ears but she stayed on her position.

"Annie?"

Ana choked on her sob at the mention of her nickname. She lifter her gaze and saw Carla sitting on a chair beside her bed, eyeing her carefully.

"Tell me what's wrong, dear."

"Did you know Christian's parents were Robert Henders and Ella Dawson?" Sitting up, Ana asked quietly, her eyes not leaving her mother's to see her reaction.

Carla gasped and her face went white.

"Who were they, mom?" Ana needed to know the truth. She never believed Christian's accusations but something had happened among their parents. Whatever that was, she deserved to know.

But her mother didn't answer.

"I need to know what happened. Christian said all these things that I never believed, not even for a second. You're not the reason Robert died, you're not the reason Ella killed he-" Ana halted, her eyes grew wide at the guilt look forming on Carla's face. "Y-You are..." She shook her head, not believing what she was seeing. "N-No... No... Please tell me no, mom." She begged but her mother only cried. "You didn't... It wasn't you...Say that it wasn't you..."

"What's going on here?" Ray's voice interrupted them. Standing in the doorway, his eyes darted between them. "Carla?" He immediately went to his wife, worried at the tears streaming down her face. He turned to his daughter, who was also crying. "Ana? What's happening?"

"I-I didn't mean for everything to happen. I thought I was doing the right thing..." Carla murmured, memories of her tragic past came crashing down on her.

:::

 _1982_

 _"R-Robert?! I-It can't be..."_

 _She was in a nightmare. Yes, it was only a bad dream, she tried to convince herself. Robert couldn't be gone. No, that would be impossible. He was just with her yesterday. He came to see her, begged for her forgiveness and asked her to marry him. He wasn't the Robert Henders whose name she just read on the newspaper. He wasn't one of the passengers killed last night when an airplane veered off runway of Detroit Metropolitan Airport. That Robert Henders was not her Robert._

 _Panicking and in denial, Carla shook her head. He wasn't dead. No, he was supposed to live a long and happy life with Ella. He couldn't be gone. No..._

 _Struggling to prove herself that she was right, she looked closely at the name printed in the list of the victims._

 _...HARRISON, TIMOTHY. Age: 35_

 _ **HENDERS, ROBERT. Age: 18**_

 _GEORGE, CARMEN. Age: 60..._

 _Henders, Robert. Her Robert._ _There must have been a mistake. It couldn't be..._

 _"No..." Her shoulders shook as she cried, clutching the newspaper tightly to her chest. "Robert..."_

 _Always and only you..._

 _:::_

 _She lost everything. The man she loved. Their unborn child. With one decision, Carla lost them. She lost Robert one week ago and now, she lost their baby too. She should have forgiven him. She should have made him stay. She should have accepted his proposal. If she did all those things, he would still be alive today. He would still have a chance to grow old and meet his children. He would still be able to make his dreams come true. He was going to be an engineer, she mused sadly._ _But because of her, because she opted to push him away, because she couldn't move past his mistake, he was dead._

 _Her palm went to her once-pregnant but now-empty belly and she broke in tears. Her baby was gone._

 _"M-My baby,"_

 _Carla lost the only reminder she had of the man she loved._

 _Juliet entered the room, her eyes were red with tears. Sitting silently on the empty side of her bed, she pitifully gazed at her niece._

 _"Am I a bad person, Aunt Juliet?" Carla asked quietly, turning her gaze at the view outside the window of her hospital room._

 _"No. Why would you say that?"_

 _"My parents left me. R-Robert left me. M-My baby left me. They were all gone. I'm thinking that maybe I'm such a terrible person who deserves to be alone because the people I loved and cared about ended up leaving me."_

 _Juliet was quick to hug her niece. "No! Don't say that! What happened with your parents and Robert were an accident. And there has been a complication with your baby. You had nothing to do with it, Carla."_

 _But no matter how much her aunt insisted that she was not to blame, the guilt still broke her. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. In her condition, the doctor advised her not to travel. Carla missed Robert's funeral in Detroit. She remained in the hospital and settled on praying for his soul and mourning for all she lost._

 _:::_

 _1983_

 _She climbed out of the taxi and, with a bouquet of flowers in her hands, quietly strode towards her destination. Remembering Juliet's direction, she walked to where he was. Carla brushed off the quickening of her heartbeat and the sweat emanating in her palms. A few steps away from him, tears started welling up behind her eyes._ _She closed their distance and gently laid the flowers she brought on the grass._

 _"R-Robert," Carla choked on his name, seeing his gravestone for the very first time._

 _She tumbled down the ground on her knees and slowly ran her fingers over his name. It had been a year since he died. One year had passed since he disappeared from her life. He followed what she wanted, he left and would never be back again. He was gone forever._

 _"I-I'm sorry I wasn't here last year. I wanted to but with the c-circumstances I was in, I couldn't." She uttered, her teary gaze was on the marbled stone. "There are so many things I want to say to you, so many words I wish you're still here to hear. I'm sorry. The last words I said to you, they weren't true. I lied, Robert. I said that I don't love you and that I can't love you anymore. I didn't mean those words. I love you, I will always love you. I'm sorry. Forgive me for giving up on us, for pushing you away, for not loving you enough to fight for you. I-I thought I was doing the right thing. But I was wrong because you left me and you won't be coming back anymore."_

 _"H-Have you seen our little angel? Is he with you? Please kiss him for me." Carla sobbed harder. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about our child. I wanted to and I wish I did. Maybe if you had known, you'd insist on staying. Maybe you wouldn't board that plane. Maybe you would still be here with us. I have so many what ifs and maybes. I have so many regrets. But loving you will never be one of them, Robert. I will never regret the love I have for you. And the 12 weeks I gratefully had with our baby is something I will forever cherish. I will always love you. You and our child will always be in my heart. Always and only you."_

 _She remained kneeling on the ground with tears streaming down her face endlessly. Carla cried. She cried for the loss of the man she dearly loved, for the child she almost had, for their unfulfilled dreams and impossible future._

 _She didn't know how much time had passed but when she was calm enough, Carla_ _pulled herself up, wiped her tears dry and fixed herself. Trying hard not to break down again, she kissed her fingers and placed them over his name._

 _"What are you doing here?"_

 _Carla whirled at the familiar voice and saw Ella standing a few steps from her, holding a baby boy in her arms. Robert had a son._

 _"You shouldn't be here." Ella spoke as she moved towards the gravestone, setting the flowers she brought next to Carla's._

 _"W-What's his name?" Carla couldn't help but ask, her eyes were glued to the bouncing boy._

 _The little bundle had a dark copper hair like his father. He appeared to be healthy, she silently thanked the heavens. If her computation was correct, the child was about 4 months old. When he looked at her, Carla had to suppress her gasp at the intense grey eyes staring at her. His eyes were the same as Robert's._

 _"Christian. His name is Christian." Ella answered, looking lovingly at her son._

 _Grief tugged in Carla's chest while staring at her best friend and her child. Ella had one thing she would never have, Robert's child._

 _"Why did you come here?" Ella glared at her._

 _"Today is his first year death anniversary."_

 _"I know. It's been a year since I lost him because of you. My child will grow up without a father because of you. Because of your selfishness. You told me you'll let him go, Carla. I even begged you. Do you remember how I pleaded you to set him free? But you need to have it all, don't you? It was your fault that he was in that plane. It was because you couldn't let him go that he died. And now you're here to what? To repent? Why? Because your conscience is killing you? Good. Because it's too late now. Robert was dead. I lost him. Christian lost his father." Ella spoke with obvious hatred._

 _Carla pursed her lips in an effort to contain her cry. Glancing at the innocent child, she was instantly filled with guilt. Ella was right, Christian would grow up without his father. The poor boy would never know Robert._

 _"I-I'm sorry." She apologized to the boy before turning to her best friend. "I made mistakes, Ella. I gave up on Robert because of you. I let him go because I care about your happiness. I chose our friendship over my love for him. But you know what my biggest mistake is? Loving you as a sister."_

 _Disbelief flooded Ella's face, stunned at her statement._

 _Carla nodded and began speaking in a cold voice but her eyes were brimming with tears. "Yes. I love you and always consider you as my sister, Ella. I've always been true to our friendship but you weren't. You betrayed me. You destroyed my relationship with the man I love because you were jealous and selfish. He's gone because he fought for me when I've been stupid enough to give up on him. He went to Montesano because he chose me, he would always choose me, only me. But what did I do? I thought of you and asked him to forget about me. I made him leave me because you need him. You want to know what I learned after all of these? You don't deserve him and you never deserve my friendship." Casting one last sad look at the child, she turned around and began walking away, ignoring the sound of Ella's sobs._

:::

One week. 7 returned vases of flowers. Hundreds, if not a thousand, unanswered text messages, missed phone calls and neglected emails. Numerous knocks on her apartment door. And still, Christian had not seen even just a glimpse of her. She didn't want to see him again, she said so herself before she left Escala 7 days ago. He could have went to SIP and see her there but he would never do that. SIP was hers, that was her world and he would never take it away from her.

Running a hand over his face, Christian sighed wearily. He had not been getting any good sleep lately. His mind was full of thoughts of her. He missed her. He missed her smile, the way her eyes lit up, her laugh, her cute snort. He missed everything about Ana. His life was never the same without her.

He was sorry. He had no idea what to do to make her forgive him and believe his words. He already destroyed and burned every pictures and every files he had of her and her family and friends. The once secret locked room was now an empty space with only her photograph from Jose remained hanging on the wall.

Christian was wrong. Stalking her and digging into her life without her consent were unacceptable. He was blinded with his need for revenge that he paid no attention to what were appropriate and inappropriate. Ana was right, all he cared about was his goal. He did inexcusable things for the success of his mission. In the end, he lost the only one person who mattered most to him.

He understood Ana and her anger. He was mad at himself too for what he had done. He destroyed her trust and broke her heart. Christian recalled the look of devastation on her face when she found out who he was and his deceits. The way her eyes widened in shock and the way they were slowly filled with tears of agony when she realized his plan would forever be stamped in his mind.

Christian was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on his office door. It opened a second after and Andrea came into his view.

"Sir," His secretary spoke. "A Mrs. Carla Steele is outside, saying she needs to talk to you. Do you want me to let her in?"

 _Carla Steele._

He nodded. "Let her in."

:::


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Christian,"

He stood up when he heard her and felt the tension in the room changed as soon as she entered. From his position and as subtle as he could, Christian studied the older woman. He tried to gauge her emotion but she was only looking at him passively.

"Mrs. Steele," He returned her greeting and offered his hand. Christian felt himself relaxed a little when she accepted his palm.

He motioned for her to seat on the office sofa and followed when she did.

"I apologize for coming here unannounced. I hope I didn't disturb you in your work." Carla uttered as she sat.

"It's alright." He replied, occupying the seat opposite hers.

Silence filled the room as they regarded each other carefully.

"She would hate me more for not seeing her on you." A sad smile spread across her face as she stared him.

A crease formed on his forehead, not comprehending what she meant.

"Your mother, Ella." She answered his quiet inquiry. "You look almost exactly like your father. You have the same hair, eyes and nose. But your smile... The first time I saw you after so long, I wondered where have I seen it before... Your smile looks familiar but I can't figure out who smiles exactly like yours. It was only last Saturday that I realized that you have Ella's smile."

Christian stayed silent, displaying no reaction from her statement. But deep inside, he was trying to digest every word she had just spoken. _The first time I saw you after so long._ After so long? Had she seen him years ago?

As if Carla was able to read his mind, she went on. "I remember seeing you for the first time. You were just a baby back then, a cute 4 month old boy bouncing restlessly in your mother's arms. I-I tried looking for you. When I learned about Ella's death months after she was buried, I came to Detroit and tried to search for you. But I was too late. No one has seen you since your mother's funeral."

Carla's words caused him to frown. That was news to him. He had no idea she searched for him. "Why? Why did you look for me?"

"Believe me or not, Christian, I love your mother like she was my own sister and you are your father's son. I can't just forget your existence."

"Sister?! Was that why you betrayed her?! Because she was a sister to you?!" His words came out as a yell before Christan could stop himself.

Startled at his flare-up, Carla almost jumped on her seat. She shook her head morosely. "I don't know the things she said about me to you and I won't even try to straighten it."

"Why not? You're just going to sit there and accept what I thought of you?" He got curious.

"I won't sit here and accept your accusations because they aren't true. If that's what you think I am here for, I'm sorry but you will be disappointed. I will not correct you either because she was your mother and she was my sister. There's no way I am going to desecrate her in your memory. Besides, you will not believe me anyway." She answered with hardness.

He weighed in her response and agreed. "You're right, I won't believe you."

Once again, quietness filled the space.

"Tell me, why did you come here?" Getting uncomfortable with the situation, he inquired.

"I am here because of Ana."

He held his breath.

She looked him in the eye. "What have you done, Christian?"

He remained silent.

"You hate me, I can tell that. Maybe your reasons are valid, maybe not. But it doesn't matter. Hate me all you want. You can even plan my demise and I won't care. But spare my daughter. Ana didn't do anything wrong, you know that. She is innocent in all of this."

"I love her."

Carla only stared at him wistfully. "I have no doubt that you do. But you've been living with your heart full of anger and hatred for too long. You cannot love her with a heart like that, Christian. Ana deserves a man who can love her fully. Free yourself from madness and loathing then maybe, maybe you can be worthy of her. She has a heart of gold and the man she will fall in love with will be the luckiest. I believe you already know that fact."

 _Yes._

He knew it. Christian was aware the treasure that was Anastasia Steele. He knew how it felt like to be loved by her, having experienced it firsthand.

When he didn't speak, she continued. "I am not perfect. I made mistakes in the past, faults that I can't undo no matter how much I want to, and I learned its lessons the hard way. I hope you won't make the same mistakes as I did, Christian." Carla slowly roused from the couch. "I'm going now. I've already taken too much of your time." She gazed at him. "I'm glad to see you well. Your parents would have been so proud of you."

From his seat, Christian could only watch her retreating form as she exited his office. Her encounter with Carla was not what he had expected. For years, he had imagined the moment she learned who he was and what he did. He pictured the older woman approaching him with anger and guilt on her face. Anger being thrown at him because he played with her daughter's heart and guilt for the sins she did in the past. Christian would revel on that, he thought before.

But there was no anger plastered on her face when she entered his office. Instead underneath her passive look, he noticed her sadness. There was guilt, he saw it too but it wasn't because of what he believed she did. No, Christian could tell her guilt was different. And he did not feel any satisfaction after everything. Emptiness. That's what he was feeling right now, what he had been feeling since Ana walked out on him and in his life.

He stared at the door, feeling like there were things he ought to know.

 _What are you not telling me, Carla?_

:::

She entered her key on the knob and unlocked the door. Ana stepped inside the apartment and was surprised to see Elliot and Kate sitting on the couch, arms tangled around each other and locked in a deep kiss.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" She quickly covered her eyes with her hands.

Both startled at the sound of her voice, the couple instantly pulled away from each other and tried to fix themselves as fast as they could.

"You can look at us now." Giggling, Kate said.

"Hi, Ana." Elliot greeted her when she removed her fingers over her eyes.

"Hello." She greeted back a little uneasy. This was the first she had seen any member of the Greys and she didn't know what or if Christian had told them about their relationship. "I'm going to my room and leave you two lovebirds. It's nice to see you again, Elliot." She turned around but stopped when he called her.

"Ana,"

Ana looked back.

Raking his fingers through his blonde hair, he strove to hide his discomfort. "Uhm... I don't know what happened between you and Christian, he wouldn't tell us anything. I just want to say that you brought changes to him more than you know. He is a different man since he met you. Everyone of us saw that and we are grateful to you. Whatever happened, I hope you two can still work it out."

She shook her head sadly. "I wish it's that easy. But there are things I don't think we can just forgive and forget."

The couple gave her a pity look and she only smiled a little before returning to her stride. Ana could feel Elliot's and Kate's gazes following her as she entered her room.

:::

With her back on the headboard and a book in her hands, she heard Kate's voice from outside her bedroom.

"Ana," Her best friend let herself in. "Am I disturbing you?"

Ana closed the book and turned to her. "It's okay. Where's Elliot?"

"He already left. He has an early appointment tomorrow."

"I'm happy for you, Kate."

"I have you to thank for it." Kate smiled but it faded slowly. Sitting beside her, the blonde woman glanced at her best friend. "Where have you been? You've been going home late this past week."

Her best friend didn't know that she had formed a habit of stopping by at the beach after work and before she went home. Every afternoon since Christian broke her heart, Ana found herself at the shore, sitting on the sand. For days she had been crying while looking at the water, thinking about him and everything she thought was true. Hours after and when her tears had ran dry, she would stand up and leave the beach. Ana was wary to tell Kate about where she was and what she had been doing. Her best friend had a tendency to overthink everything and would definitely freak out if she had known about it.

"At the office." She lied.

Kate regarded her quietly. "I'm worried, Ana. Like Elliot, I don't know what happened and you wouldn't tell me too. I'm clueless here. All I've been doing is helplessly watch you disappear. You are not the same Ana anymore. I don't know if you are aware of it but you are now a shell of my lively and vibrant best friend. It is as if something has died inside of you. Christian is no longer showing up here, even Sawyer has vanished. You're using Wanda again. Did you return your new car? What's going on, Ana? Did you two broken up?"

Ana discerned Kate didn't mean to pry. There was only concern in her best friend's voice. "Thank you for worrying about me. I'm fine. Christian and I, w-we d-didn't work out. Fundamental differences, I guess." She tried to speak lightly, like what happened last week didn't break her heart, like it didn't destroy what she believed was true.

"If you want to talk about it, you know I'm always here for you, right?"

"I know and thank you again."

:::

Alone in her room, Ana couldn't sleep. Her mind wandered on Kate's statement from earlier. Was she not the same Ana any longer? Was she now a shell of the woman she was once was? Yes, her best friend was right. Something had died inside of her. Her heart. It didn't survive the agony of Christian's betrayal.

Remembering Carla's reaction to her inquiries last Saturday, she couldn't help but wonder if he was indeed telling the truth. Christian had these beliefs that her mother did his family wrong. Ana knew it was impossible. Carla was not that kind of woman. She was not capable of doing those things. But when Ana asked her about it, Carla's reaction told her the opposite. Her mother looked apologetic and could not even answer her properly.

The next morning, Ana left her parents' house torn. Her questions were not answered. All she got from Carla was ' _I-I didn't mean for everything to happen. I thought I was doing the right thing...'_ After uttering those words, her mother hurriedly exited the room.

Ray followed his wife to their room but not after asking Ana what happened. She had to tell him who Christian's parents were and the things he believed Carla did. Ana didn't disclose Christian's plan and how she was tricked by him. She felt it was unnecessary to let Ray know about it, he would surely hate Christian if he found out. Ana didn't want that to happen.

To give Christian some credit, Ana recalled the time he told her he was not a good person and that he would hurt her. But she dismissed his warning and opted to continue what they started. She was convinced that some things were worth the risk and thought her feelings for him was one of them. She didn't know that even before she took the risk, she was already destined to fail.

:::

"Christian?"

He turned to the door and saw Grace standing.

"It was past midnight. What are you doing?" She asked gently, darting her eyes at the opened boxes around the room.

Christian followed her gaze and was surprised at the mess he created inside the storage room. He arrived at his parents' house hours ago and had been rummaging through the numerous boxes that contained mementos and things from his childhood, the ones Carrick and Grace were able to retrieve from his childhood home and brought with them when they moved to Seattle. "I-I am looking for something." _Something that could make him understand Carla's words and reaction._ He wanted to add.

"Is there anything specific you are looking for?"

Feeling tired, he brushed his hair with his hand and released a sigh. "I have no idea what I am searching for but my gut is telling me that there is something I need to know."

"You look weary. Why don't you take a rest for now. You can continue your search tomorrow." Grace suggested.

Christian shook his head. "I-I can't sleep."

Whenever he would close his eyes, Ana's tear-stained face was coming into his view. In his mind, he saw her standing in front of him and her once bright blue eyes were now dull and almost lifeless as she stared at him, asking why would he hurt her when all she did was loved him. He would open his eyes and wept at his nightmare.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not this time, mom. I... I need answers." He started opening another one of the taped boxes and looking over its contents. _What isn't she telling me? Why isn't she mad at me? Why did she have this look in her eyes that told me she knows something I don't? Why do I sense pity from her? Why didn't I feel any pleasure from what I did?_ His mind was asking those questions and was in need of the answers.

"Son,"

Christian felt his mother's hand lightly patting his shoulder and he stopped at what he was doing.

"What's going on?"

His shoulders fell and tears started gathering behind his eyes. "I did something terrible, mom. I hurt Ana and she doesn't want to see me anymore. I caused her pain that made her leave me."

"I'm sure you didn't mean what you did. Ana will understand. She loves you."

He shook his head and whispered. "I meant to hurt her. It was my intention to cause her pain. What I did was unforgivable. And now, she was gone." Tears fell down his face.

"Oh, son." Grace hugged him as he cried.

:::

The sun was still due to rise when he walked inside the storage room once more. Christian tried to take his mother's advice and went to his bedroom to take a much needed sleep but just like the previous nights, he couldn't. He spent hours lying on his bed with his eyes at the ceiling, counting the seconds since Ana stormed out of his life. When he couldn't take the torture anymore, he stood up and decided to continue his search.

Scanning the already opened boxes, he tried to see if he missed something from the night before. This was the first time Christian dared to look at the things that reminded him of his past. Ever since he was adopted by the Greys, he tried to forget the traumatic events of his childhood and only stamped in his mind and heart the hatred for the person who caused them. Taking only the pictures of his parents and let it hang in his room, he allowed Carrick and Grace to store the rest of his things. For almost 20 years, the boxes stayed unopened.

As he was gazing at his childhood things, he noticed a scrapbook. He frowned, not recognizing it. Christian thought the obviously handmade scrapbook probably belonged to somebody else and decided to discard it later when it accidentally opened. A picture of Ella and Carla glued on the first page greeted him. They looked like teenagers in the photo with wide grins and in their school uniforms, he noted. He flipped to the next page and saw a letter written on it.

 _For my sister, Ella,_

 _Happy 18th birthday! I hope you like my gift. I'm so thankful that we met each other and have been best of friends. I know it's still early for me to say this but I'll miss you when we graduate. Don't forget your best friend when you have become this big star in New York, huh? I'll probably stay here in Detroit and become a teacher like my mother. Maybe I'll be married to Robert by then._

 _I have a great news and you are the first person I want to share it with. Robert_ _asked me to marry him. I haven't answered his question yet but I want to say yes. I want to marry him, Ella. I know we're only 18 but we love each other and we really want to be together. We've been dating for 3 years now and we're already planning for the future. Well, I hope everything will turn out great for all of us._

 _Enough about me and my fussing. This is your birthday so I made this scrapbook for you. This is to let you know how much I appreciate your presence in my life. Your friendship meant so much to me, Ella. I don't know how I'm going to survive without you. I love you, my sister, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I hope all your dreams will come true. Thank you for being such the best of the best._

 _I love you! Can wait for your party!_

 _P.S. When are you going to answer one of your suitors? You know I pity them sometimes. They are all in love with you!_

 _Love,_

 _your sister, Carla_

Christian was wide eyed after reading Carla's letter for his mother. He shook his head, unable to accept what he just read.

 _It couldn't be. No._

He went over to another unopened box and ripped the tape open. Digging inside, he rummaged through the things. One by one, he studied them and blew out frustrated sighs when he couldn't find anything that could explain to him Carla's letter. He was on his third box when he came across an almost torn up diary. Opening it, he recognized its owner. The hard bound journal was Ella's. Dreading what he was going to discover, Christian read the entries with bated breath.

 _August 29, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Carla is pregnant. I saw the test in the trash and it's positive. I can't believe it. Robert and Carla is going to have a baby. No! That can't be true! Robert is mine! I love him! I have to do something. I can't let her have him._

Christian's heart constricted in his chest, digesting his mother's words.

 _September 10, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I'm turning 18 next week and I already know what I am going to do to finally make Robert mine. Carla is still keeping mum about her pregnancy. I don't know if she already told Robert about it. I don't care. My plan is going to work. I know it._

 _:_

 _September 16, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I'm going to Jill's party tonight. Robert is going to be there, Carla told me. This is it! Tonight he is going to be mine and tomorrow, Carla will realize that her boyfriend and I really belong together. I'm much prettier than Carla, he is not going to say no to me._

 _:_

 _September 17, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I made it. My plan worked. I did it. I feel bad for Carla, she looked devastated when she saw Robert in my bed. But I need to do this. I'm tired of her having my parents' affection. I'm tired of seeing her and Robert happy and in love. I've been watching them for years, I can't take it anymore._

 _:_

 _September 27, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _She's leaving. Carla is coming with her Aunt Juliet to Montesano. I came to see her a while ago and saw her packing her things. I admitted that I did it all, I seduced Robert and had him made love to me. A part of me regretted what I did when I saw how I hurt Carla. She didn't expect that I could do it. But I did. I destroyed her relationship with Robert. And now I even asked her to let him go. I know_ _Robert doesn't love me but he'll learn if Carla won't be in the picture anymore. Am I bad person? Yes, I am but I'm having a child now with him and I won't let my baby grow up without his father. I need Robert with me. I don't care if Carla is pregnant too. My days of letting her have it all is over._

 _:_

 _October 19, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _He can't love me. There's no way he will love me even if I'm carrying his child. Those were what he said to me before he left today. He will follow Carla to Montesano. How could he do this to me?! I love him! I'm the one who loves him more! Carla doesn't care for him as much as I do! She let him go! He should be with me and not with her! He is mine!_

 _:_

 _October 21, 1982_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _He's dead. Did he really not want to be with me that he'd rather die than spend his life with me and our child? No, he was already on his way to me. Robert was coming back. He was supposed to come back._

 _:_

 _June 18, 1983_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Christian is born. He looks exactly like Robert. He is healthy and strong. He reminds me so much of his father. I love him and will take care of him. Robert would have been glad to see him._

 _:_

 _October 21, 1983_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Today is Robert's one year death anniversary. I visited him with Christian a while ago. I saw Carla on his grave. I was suddenly filled with anger as soon as I saw her. How dare she showed up after a year. She wasn't there when he was buried, probably didn't have a face to show because she knows it was her fault. I don't believe her words, telling me that she let Robert go because she loves me and cares about me. No, she let him go because she didn't love him like I love him. Robert was a fool for falling in love with her. He should have chosen me from the very start._

 _:_

Christian dropped to the floor on his knees, heart beating erratically, tears marring his cheeks, shoulders sagging and hand trembling. Ella's diaries were scattered around him, mocking him for his stupidity. He thought he knew everything but he was wrong, very wrong. He didn't know anything.

 _What have I done?_

:::


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"I-I'm sorry." He uttered, handing over the scrapbook to the older woman, who was sitting opposite him.

Carla gasped, eyes widening at the gift she made almost three decades ago. Taking it with trembling fingers and tears in her eyes, she gently grazed its cover.

Christian watched as the woman he hated for years broke down in tears, and remorse and shame flooded him. He was wrong, he knew that now.

For years, he believed that his mother was the victim in everything that happened, the one who was betrayed by the person she trusted, the one who lost the love of her life.

He hated Carla, thinking she was the one who caused it all. He grew up with an assumption that she had to pay for what she did and he would make sure it was going to happen.

But what did he know?

It wasn't Carla who did it all. It was Ella. His mother. The one person whose words were taken with faith by him. He grew up having her as the only person he had in his life. He didn't have anyone else. It was just her. She told him things, showed resentment towards the woman she was blaming for her despair. Christian believed her, every word she had spoken and every emotion she displayed. But they were lies all along.

The scrapbook and diaries he discovered no more than four hours ago revealed the truth. To his utter shock, it was the total opposite of what he was told and had believed. Ella, with her greediness and envy, destroyed Carla's and Robert's lives. They were written in her journal, how she made everything happen, her seduction of Robert and her betrayal of Carla.

Carla, the woman who treated Ella like a sister, was deceived by her best friend, was asked to give up the man she loved and had tragically lost him. Christian knew that now.

It wasn't her who should be asking for forgiveness, it was him. It was her who was supposed to be angry at his family and not the other way around. If anyone who needed revenge, it wasn't him, it was her. He knew that now.

With the scrapbook and diaries in his possession, Christian drove himself to Montesano. Disregarding his lack of sleep from the night before and his bedraggled appearance, he knocked on the front door of the Steele residence. Carla, stunned at his disheveled look, immediately let him inside.

Christian was led to the dining room where the older woman set a steaming cup of coffee in his front. He took a sip from it and basked on the hotness of the liquid as it flowed down his throat. He was aware of Carla's gaze on him. He knew she had questions in her mind about his surprised presence in her home but was wary to ask.

For a moment, she let him in his silence. When he found his voice, Christian spoke his apology.

"I-I found it in one of my childhood boxes. There were diaries too. E-Ella's diaries." He added as he offered her Ella's journals. "Written inside were her feelings towards you."

Christian had his sight on the coffee mug, unable to look at Carla in the eyes.

A sob escaped her lips as she read her best friend's words. "S-She knew. She knew I was pregnant, that Robert and I were having a baby. She must really hated me." Her shoulders sagged, finally comprehending what transpired in the events that took place 29 years ago.

"I'm sorry." He apologized once more.

Carla looked at him, confused. "Why? It wasn't your fault."

"I hated you. I grew up hating the woman I believed was the cause of my mother's sadness and the reason why I lost my father. Even without knowing you yet, I vowed to make you pay for what you did. When I finally learned of you, I concocted a plan to exact my revenge. I will watch you suffer and revel on your pain and I needed Ana to accomplish that."

Taken aback by his confession, she could only stare at him.

Christian slowly nodded, the pain of his errors could be seen in his eyes. "Yes, I didn't meet her accidentally. It was part of my plan. I wanted her to trust me, to make her fall in love with me. Then I would leave her behind, broken hearted and devastated. I would tell her who I really am and the reasons why I hurt her. I would ask her to send my regards to you, knowing you'd understand why I used your daught-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Christian felt a fist hit his face. His head lolled to the side, pain instantly spread on his jaw. A hand hastily grabbed him by his shirt and he felt himself thrown against the wall.

"Ray!" Carla cried, witnessing the commotion. She hurriedly went to her husband who was holding Christian by his shirt. "Ray, stop it, please."

Feeling his wife hand on his arm, Ray reluctantly released Christian and took a step back.

Christian had his head bowed down, incapable of welcoming the older man's furious glare. He wouldn't fight back, thinking he deserved every punch and every blow Ray would give him.

"The first time I saw you, I knew you couldn't be trusted." Ray spoke with disgust, eyes narrowed in anger. "But my daughter seemed to like you so I gave you a chance. I welcomed you into my home, into my family. You came in here and told me you're serious with Ana. You said you have no intention of hurting her. I believed you, Grey. My daughter believed you. She thought highly of you. She said you are a good person. That who you are showing the world isn't the real you. Ana, my poor daughter, trusted you. But you only wanted to use her!"

"I-I'm sorry." Christian muttered, eyes filled with regret.

"Ana didn't tell us anything but I sensed her pain. Even up to now she is trying to protect you and I can't understand why. She is too good for you and definitely better off without you." Ray's loud voice boomed inside.

"I'm sorry. I-" He began to explain.

"I don't care about your reasons!" Ray cut him. "You purposely hurt my daughter, Grey! Nothing will ever change that fact!"

"Ray, let's hear him." Carla pleaded.

"No! I won't make the same mistake twice! Once is enough to fool me! I'm telling you now, stay out of my daughter's life!" With that, Ray stormed out of the room angrily.

They heard the slamming sound of the door from upstairs.

Flinching at the noise, Carla drifted her somber gaze to the younger man. She went to him and helped him sit. "He is hurting for Ana. I am too. My daughter is strong. If thinks she can make things happen by herself, she won't be asking for our help. Sometimes, she is already suffering and yet we have no idea. But when she was here last Saturday, no matter how much she tried to hide it, we saw it, the pain... It was on her face."

"I'm sorry." Christian mumbled weakly. "I-I love her. When I first met her, she surprised me. She isn't who I imagined her to be. She is different, unique. I got to know her and once again, I was shocked. She is innocent and trusting. She insisted that I am a wonderful human being when I know I'm not. Ana believed in me and in all the goodness that only she could see. Never minding my past and my flaws, she gave her heart to me. The moment I realized that I couldn't hurt her, that I'd rather die than see her in pain, I knew I'm doomed." He chuckled without humor, wiping the blood from his split lips with his fingers.

"Ana, the woman who I was supposed to hurt, was the woman who broke the barriers I built around myself with just her smile. I fell in love with her though I didn't want to and I tried not to. I tried to stay away from her, to cut her off of my life because I knew I was just going to cause her pain. But I couldn't ignore the pull I felt towards her. I stayed with her, afraid that one day she'd find out the truth and leave me. I stayed because I couldn't walk away from her. She's the one for me. Ana is the only woman for me." He spoke, not bothered by the tears streaming down his face.

"I believe you love her." Carla spoke softly, handing him an ice pack for the bruise forming on his face.

"H-How? I already broke her heart. Why would you trust me with hers again?"

A sad smile spread across her face. "Your father... He once told me that Henders men only love once. Robert believed that every man in his family will only have one woman who will hold his heart for the rest of his life. And when he found her, everything around him will suddenly make sense. I told you yesterday, you are your father's son, Christian."

"She is it for me." He confirmed, mind drifting to Ana's blue eyes looking at him lovingly and to the sweet smile plastered on her face whenever she would gaze at him.

"I can't speak for Ana but I believe that if you two are meant to be together, you will get through this."

Christian knew for certain that he and Ana were destined to be together. She was the one on the other of his red string, believing Hideshi's words. He only hoped she could forgive him and they could start anew. If only he could talk to her again.

He stared at Carla and understood why his father loved the older woman. She had a heart that was willing to love despite the bruises and crushing it was forced to endure. She loved Ella and cared for her happiness even if the latter didn't feel the same way about her.

"You are that woman for my father." Christian spoke the truth. It was her, not his mother.

Carla only smiled sadly.

It hurt to know that the complete family he once believed he would have had Robert lived was only a fantasy his mother created. Ella had created an illusion that Robert, who loved Carla, belonged to her. She wanted him selfishly and did everything to get him, not caring who she hurt or what she wrecked in the process. And even after he died, Ella had still believed that she did nothing wrong and put the blame on Carla.

"I-I'm sorry for every horrible thing my mother did."

"Don't." She stopped him. "Don't apologize for the things you know nothing about. I'm just glad you learned the truth. I always pray to God that wherever she was right now, may she find the peace she never had in this world."

"Thank you. My parents were lucky they met you. Can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

"Carla wrote that you were p-pregnant..." Christian couldn't continue his inquiry. Carla's pregnancy was news to him. There was no record in her dossier that she gave birth years before she had Ana and as far as he knew, Ana was an only child. Did he have a brother? Or a sister perhaps?

"I lost him..." She replied, discerning what he was talking about. "One week after Robert's death, there had been a complication and my child didn't survive." Carla gazed at him, longing was evident in her eyes. "If he did, he would be the same age as yours, only a month older."

The thought of having a brother or a sister who never had a chance to be born brought additional sadness in his heart. "I'm sorry."

Christian had discovered many things about his past and was relieved that he was finally enlightened with the facts. He made a promise once again. But unlike before, this time he vowed to make things right, to free himself from the unfounded grudge that lived in his heart for many years and to become a better person whom Ana deserved.

:::

"Do you regret letting him go?" With her head on her mother's lap, Ana asked the question she had been wanting to ask since Carla told her everything.

She arrived from work earlier than her almost midnight usual return. Ana never had a chance to pass by the beach that evening, missing her newly created routine. Receiving a message from Carla that morning telling her she wanted to see her and talk to her after her work, Ana went straight home after leaving SIP. Her mother showed up minutes later.

Carla apologized for not answering her questions last Saturday, explaining how she was caught surprised by the mention of Robert and Ella. Ana was then told of the heartbreaking history her mother shared with the two. Her heart went out with Carla, learning the suffering she had to go through. When Christian showing up in Montesano that morning was mentioned, Ana tried to act nonchalant, hiding the quickening of her heartbeat.

She was instantly filled with worry. Did Christian come to hurt her mother? Did he not know that what he had been believing were lies? Carla didn't do anything wrong to his mother.

Seeing the concern in her eyes, her mother pacified her instantly, telling her how Christian now knew the truth. Carla explained that he discovered the scrapbook she made for her best friend as a gift and Ella's journals. Ana couldn't picture the look on Christian's face after the whole story was revealed to him. Learning how he had been deceived by the person he trusted the most must have crushed him, she thought sadly. Ana knew the feeling. It was what she felt 8 nights ago, just before she stormed out of his place.

Gently brushing her daughter's hair with her fingers, Carla replied softly. "A part of me will always regret letting him go. Had I stayed with him and forgiven him, things would have been different. But if I remained in Detroit, I wouldn't have met your father and wouldn't be blessed with a beautiful and wonderful daughter."

"When I was younger I thought I have life figured out. I was only 18 but I was already certain I would marry Robert. I loved him too much that I knew for sure he was the one for me and I was confident that he felt the same way. So when I learned about him and Ella, I was beyond devastated. I couldn't move past his mistake and the pain it brought me. And when Ella said she was pregnant with his baby, I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him go. I made a decision, unaware how it would lead to tragedy."

Sitting up, Ana stared at her mother.

"It took me years to realize that if things are meant to be yours, it will be yours no matter what. When I met your father, I was sure I would never fall in love again. I was hurting that time and I don't need another man breaking my already broken heart. When he told me he loved me and would wait for me until I am ready, I ignored his words. But he was persistent. He stayed by my side and accepted what I could only give him. He has always been a good man and a wonderful friend. He was there when I'm breaking down into tears remembering Robert and my lost child. He offered solace to my aching heart."

"Years after, I found myself falling for him. Who wouldn't fall for a man who was there at your worst, comforted you and gave his shoulder for you to cry on? Who knew about your past, accepted it without hesitation and still wanted to be a part of your future? With Ray, I found more than what I lost. With him, I have you."

Ana felt her mother's hand cupping her cheek. Tears started streaming down her face, memories of the days she and Christian shared entered her mind. "I-I don't know what to do, mom. I love him but I'm hurt. The pain I'm feeling would not go away."

"I wish I can tell you what to do. But it's only you who can do it. Listen to your heart, listen to what it is telling you." Carla spoke, reaching out to wipe the tears off of her face.

:::

Ana exited the building, her heartbeat quickening. Taking out her cellphone from her pocket, she texted the person she had been avoiding for the past 10 days.

"I'm on my way." She typed in her message.

A second after, he replied. _"See you."_

Her finger grazed Christian's message with longing.

It had been 10 days since she stormed out of his place after discovering the truth. 10 days since she saw his face, listened to his voice, felt his touch on hers and reveled on his kiss. She missed him.

"Ana,"

Ana was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Jack's voice. Turning, she saw him stepping out of SIP and sauntering towards her.

"J-Jack," She stammered his name, still not used to calling him by his first name the way he insisted that she do days ago.

"I'll have a cab pick me up at my place tomorrow, why don't I ask the driver to pass by your apartment so we can go to the airport together?"

Ana quickly shook her head no. "I don't think that will be necessary. My friend, Kate, will be driving me."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Thanks for the offer though."

He shrugged. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Ana."

"Goodnight, Jack."

Ana watched her boss turned and walked away before she went to her car, her anxiousness in seeing Christian once again returning.

After her talk with Carla last Tuesday, it took Ana two days to finally found the heart to answer one of Christian's messages. She texted him yesterday, telling him that she wanted to talk to him. If he could, she would be at Alki beach at 6 in the afternoon the next day. He responded instantly that he was going to be there and thanked her for wanting to see him. Ana only replied with a message informing him she would text him if she was already on her way.

:::

Crossing the street after climbing out of her car, Ana was not surprised to spot Taylor standing a few steps from where Christian was sitting on a bench.

"Good afternoon, Miss Steele." The older man greeted her.

A small smile formed on her lips, acknowledging him. "Good afternoon, Taylor." She greeted back, passing by him and striding towards his boss.

Stopping a few steps away from Christian, she stared at him and studied his face. He was sad, she could tell. He had a faraway look on his face, eyeing the water in his front but not really seeing it. She almost wince when she saw the bruise on his jaw. Carla told her how Ray, the great father that he was, punched the man who broke his daughter's heart.

Ana continued her steps, not wanting to prolong what she wanted to meet him for.

"I was here." She spoke quietly as she sat next to him.

Christian whirled his head when he heard her. Thinking of the reasons she wanted to see him, he failed to notice her arrival. When he received her message yesterday, he was thankful that she finally contacted him. Ignoring the coldness in her words when she told him that she wanted to talk to him, Christian agreed to meet her in her preferred place and time.

An hour ago, she texted him that she was on her way to their meeting place. Christian left Grey House immediately and ordered Taylor to drive to Alki beach. He found an empty bench, sat on it and waited for her.

"When I left Escala t-that night, I found myself here, watching the waves." Her eyes were glued to the water as she went on. "That night, I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go home. My apartment reminded me of you. We set everything, every furniture and every appliance inside my place. I didn't want to be reminded of how happy we were that moment." She took in a deep breath. "So I drove Wanda until I ended up here. While sitting on the sand, I cried. I cried and I cried until I didn't have any tears to cry. I was hurt, Christian. And I am still hurting."

When she finally turned to him, Christian's heart broke at the pain he could see on her. "I'm sorry." How he wished he could take her grief away.

"I'm sorry, too, about what happened to your mother. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. No child should ever endure what you have been through. And now you already know what really happened. I'm sorry your mother lied to you. You believed her words and I understand why. You are right, you were the victim, Christian. But you were so blinded by your will to exact revenge that you failed to realize that you were not the only victim. You lost your father and your mother had never been alright since then. You witnessed her suffering until her death. I understand your pain, I really do. But you were not the only person who was forced to go through that. My mother... She lost the first man she fell in love with. She lost her best friend, a woman who was a sister to her. She lost a child, your brother or sister, my brother or sister."

"You are so angry at the world for what you and your mother went through and blamed the person you thought was the one liable that you didn't see that you were not the only victim. My mother was a victim too. She suffered like you suffered. She cried as much as you cried." Ana shook her head sadly. "But you failed to see that. You hated her. And in your determination to take your vengeance on her, you didn't care who you needed to use or what you had to do to make it happen."

She broke in tears. "I-I love you but you hurt me. I gave you my heart but you broke it. I've always been honest with you but you were never been. I-I don't know if I can forgive you."

Christian felt his heart stopped beating. Panicking, he took her hands with his. "No, please don't say that. I admit I planned on using you and I know it's wrong. I was wrong, Ana. You are right, I was too absorbed with my resentment that I've been selfish and blind. But everything I told you from the very start is true. I meant every word I said. Every gesture I made was a reflection of my feelings for you. I love you. I fell in love with you. I know I hurt you and your heart is broken because of me. Let me make everything alright. Just... Just don't say that there can never be us again. Please don't."

Ana slowly removed her hands in his grip. "I love you, Christian. I think I will always love you. But right now, I'm hurting. Seeing you hurts me." She handed him a gift bag.

Hesitantly, he took it and felt his world shattered, recognizing the gifts he gave her. Inside contained the books, jewelry, and other items he gifted her. She was returning them to him. She didn't want to be with him anymore. Tears escaped his eyes.

"Y-You hate me." He croaked.

"No." She shook her head no. "Remember when I told you that I could never hate you?" When he nodded, Ana continued. "I-I'm being true to my words. I could never hate you. You said, you believe that you and I are destined to be together, t-that we will meet one way or another. I-I want to believe that too."

Slowly, she roused from the bench. Christian was quick to follow.

Tears flowing from her eyes, Ana stared at him. "W-Who knows, maybe one day, if the pain of seeing you doesn't hurt me anymore, if the ache in my heart is gone, if I can finally say to you that I've forgiven you... M-Maybe one day our paths will cross again, hopefully that time there will be no goodbye. Because right now, the pain is too much, C-Christian." Ana clutched her chest as she cried. "It hurts here..."

Christian took her in his arms and he cried with her. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you." He whispered onto her hair, wrapping her tightly in his embrace, wanting the clock to stop ticking.

If he release her, she would leave.

But he knew he had to let her go. He had to give her the space and time she needed.

 _Maybe one day..._

She carefully pulled herself away from him. "T-Take care, Christian."

Giving him one last kiss on the lips, Ana turned around and started walking away.

Christian's shoulder shook as he wept, watching her leave.

Ana forced herself not to tumble down on the ground. Her knees were getting weak but she knew she had to go. She took one wobbly step after another, aware that every move she made was distancing herself from him.

She stilled when she felt familiar arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly from behind. Sobbing, she reveled on his touch.

"I'll be waiting, Ana." He murmured, his voice was hoarse as he cried. "N-No matter how long it takes, I will wait for you. I-I love you...I love you... I love you..."

:::


End file.
